I guess I’m looking for some kind support or other people who relate to my experience.
I’ve been bullied for most of my life and at 45 it has seriously affected my mental state to the point of wanting to give up and finally leave this evil sick world. I have a lot of depression, insomnia, and developed social phobia and to some degree agoraphobia. I rarely leave the house accept when absolutely necessary. This is no way to live. I used to have some hope things would get better but I’m quickly losing any optimism or that life will ever improve for me.
The bullying started as a kid and it was daily. It came from peers and even adults including my family. I’m not perfect but I’ve always tried to be a good person but being older and wiser now I realize how good you are doesn’t make any difference. For some reason certain people seem to be marked that leads other people to treat them like dog $#%^. It’s sad that often times the people that are the most sensitive, that hurt the most are discarded and abused by others.
I’ve tried therapy but it didn’t help at all, in fact it made things worse. Being labeled as mentally defective and being treated that way is another form of bullying.
Is there hope of a better future or do I just have to accept this is how it's always going to be?