Bullied for Life

I guess I’m looking for some kind support or other people who relate to my experience.

I’ve been bullied for most of my life and at 45 it has seriously affected my mental state to the point of wanting to give up and finally leave this evil sick world. I have a lot of depression, insomnia, and developed social phobia and to some degree agoraphobia. I rarely leave the house accept when absolutely necessary. This is no way to live. I used to have some hope things would get better but I’m quickly losing any optimism or that life will ever improve for me.

The bullying started as a kid and it was daily. It came from peers and even adults including my family. I’m not perfect but I’ve always tried to be a good person but being older and wiser now I realize how good you are doesn’t make any difference. For some reason certain people seem to be marked that leads other people to treat them like dog $#%^. It’s sad that often times the people that are the most sensitive, that hurt the most are discarded and abused by others.

I’ve tried therapy but it didn’t help at all, in fact it made things worse. Being labeled as mentally defective and being treated that way is another form of bullying.

Is there hope of a better future or do I just have to accept this is how it's always going to be?

when i was super depressed, i got an online volunteer work. it required me to reply to emails for a magazine. though it wasnt paid, it boosted my confidence.

some work can do wonders for confidence.

sorry to hear about the long term bullying.

I'm near your age (43), and the memories of bullying will ALWAYS stay with me.
At some point, it was decided I was a problem kid, so I caused problems. So other kids would start trouble with me, then laugh while I got blamed.
Parents were no help: 'Well, they wouldn't do anything unless you did something'
Yeah, I'm always the bad guy...
Teachers were no help: 'Well, you just have to tell them you don't like it'
Morons. If you say that, they will laught their butts off, and pick on you even worse.
High school bullying only stopped for me when I tackled the biggest bully from behind, and tore him a new one. Then the rest was afraid of me.
But to this day people seem to think they can walk all over me. I NEVER stand up for myself. I only ever respond when someone smaller and weaker is bullied, Sometimes with disastrous results.
I in this bar a while back, an there was a group of girls just having fun. One of them was... A little person, or had dwarfism, whatever is politically correct these days.
A group of drunken teens started to pick on her, calling her names. I saw the sadness in her eyes: she had just been one of the girls on a night out, having fun, and now this.
I went outside to take a pee (Toilets closed), the girls came out, and this one skinny sh*t followed them, and kept picking on the little girl.
I just lost it.
I smashed him into a wall, grabbed him by the neack with one hand, and lifted him off the ground, then got right into his face: 'How does that feel, MOFO? How does it feel when someone bigger and stronger than you abuses their power? Do you feel the crushing weight?'
Then I heard crying to my left. It was the little girl, standing there, eyes wide with shock: 'Please let him go...'
I got a hold of myself: 'OK, for you, I will'
And I dropped him into a puddle of my p*ss
Hope he learned something, but I felt so bad because I had scared her more than he did

Johei wrote:I'm near your age (43), and the memories of bullying will ALWAYS stay with me.
At some point, it was decided I was a problem kid, so I caused problems. So other kids would start trouble with me, then laugh while I got blamed.
Parents were no help: 'Well, they wouldn't do anything unless you did something'
Yeah, I'm always the bad guy...
Teachers were no help: 'Well, you just have to tell them you don't like it'
Morons. If you say that, they will laught their butts off, and pick on you even worse.

yeah true. whenever i stood up for myself, they only laughed at me more. twice i stood up for myself, but it only made matters worse.

m 30 and regret not doing anything about it. i should've complained to the authorities or left the firm.

jaus tail wrote:

Johei wrote:I'm near your age (43), and the memories of bullying will ALWAYS stay with me.
At some point, it was decided I was a problem kid, so I caused problems. So other kids would start trouble with me, then laugh while I got blamed.
Parents were no help: 'Well, they wouldn't do anything unless you did something'
Yeah, I'm always the bad guy...
Teachers were no help: 'Well, you just have to tell them you don't like it'
Morons. If you say that, they will laught their butts off, and pick on you even worse.

yeah true. whenever i stood up for myself, they only laughed at me more. twice i stood up for myself, but it only made matters worse.

m 30 and regret not doing anything about it. i should've complained to the authorities or left the firm.

*sigh* You're not supposed to say this, but the only thing that works is standingup HARD.
The kids in high school stopped picking on me when I had my growth spurt, and put one of the biggest bullies in the hospital.
But now I was labeled as dangerous, and doing that in the workplace will get you fired and arrested, so don't.

Hello, I am sorry you feel so bad. I was bullied by my parents, sister, grandmother and kids at school, it scares you for life. It can make it hard to be yourself, always feeling the need to please others, sometimes timid, sometimes agressive and much more. Being stuck indoors with agropobia is bad and that has happened to me too. I can now go out but just do not see the point. I have no friend or family around here and am not going to wander around the street just for the sake of putting one foot in fron of the other so I prefer to stay in. How are you doing now? Are you feeling better?

[quote="wiserlady"). How are you doing now? Are you feeling better?[/quote]

and just as importantly how are you doing ..

and welcome, quiet here, which when you think about it is not a bad thing,

hope you are okay

Terry

wiserlady wrote:am not going to wander around the street just for the sake of putting one foot in fron of the other so I prefer to stay in.

Same. for me it feels like theres no soul left in me. everything seems pointless.