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What is best approach to bullying from an older brother?

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What is best approach to bullying from an older brother?

Postby concernedfather1985 » Mon Apr 23, 2018 1:03 pm

hello i have a 2 year old son and 5 year old stepson. The 5 year old stepson humiliates the 2 year old son by calling him a brat and saying his brother dies. The 5 year old stepson tells the 2 year old son that his toys are worse and uglier than his own toys. I have a question regarding how to go about the 5 year olds behaviour towards the 2 year old.

On one hand my instinct tells me to acknowledge the 5 year olds behavior towards the 2 year old and call him out on it by telling the 5 year old to stop the name calling and humiliation of the 2 year old as simply ignoring the name calling could have subconscious negative effects on the 2 year olds emotional and mental wellbeing .


On the other hand there is another approach to the situation which dictates to not acknowledge the 5 years old humiliation and name calling towards the 2 year old for the purpose that not acknowledging and ignoring the 5 year olds humiliation and name calling towards the 2 year old teaches the 2 year old to not place importance on the name calling for the sake of the 2 year olds mental and emotional wellbeing, though I wonder whether this approach would have a positive or negative subonscious effect on the 2 year olds emotional and mental wellbeing, if it has a subconscious effect at all.

Which approach is best for the 2 year olds mental and emotional wellbeing?

thanks

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Re: What is best approach to bullying from an older brother?

Postby seabreezeblue » Sun Apr 29, 2018 10:03 am

Which approach is best for the 2 year olds mental and emotional wellbeing?


calling the 5 year old out will have the best outcome for the 2 year old.. the two year old needs to know that you'll step in and protect them.

however; the 5 year old is only 5.. so it has to be done with sensitivity and you're going to need to pinpoint where this is coming from.
5 year olds don't generally act like that unless someone else has influenced them.
You're the step-dad.. what are his other parents like? are they amenable to having a discussion about how to solve this?
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Re: What is best approach to bullying from an older brother?

Postby sharpie22 » Mon Jul 29, 2019 4:51 am

Sorry to hear about this. But I heard the sibling bullying just gets worse. I do not have any ideas that would help.
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Re: What is best approach to bullying from an older brother?

Postby Forum333 » Sun Aug 11, 2019 10:33 pm

Sibling bullying gets worse unless you separate them. Try putting them in different sports or different schools. Usually they make their own friends and are able to get away from their sibling. When you have a 2 year old then only let the older brother see his little brother under parental guidance. That way you can stop any bullying before it gets out of control.
Try to teach the younger brother to be turn away and stay calm even when he may be the target of bullying. My older brother and I always fought. I still think of my older brother as a bully. I know I probably said and did things that made him angry. It was like walking on eggshells at home. Once they are adults then they realize how childish they acted.
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Re: What is best approach to bullying from an older brother?

Postby realityhere » Mon Aug 12, 2019 2:14 am

This is just my honest opinion, but the 5 yr old son should be called out for his bullying behavior. This tells him that you, as a parent, have boundaries on how siblings should treat each other. If it's not nipped in the bud at this early stage in both kids' development, the older child will continue on with his bullying behavior and the younger child will resent his older sibling for the belittlement into adulthood even. The younger child will perceive parents' lack of boundaries as favoring the older half-sibling. Oh, yes, it's burned into the subconscious, even in a 2 yr old. Memories from early childhood are very long.

Step-parenting can be a landmine, if you and your current spouse aren't on the same page about asserting boundaries for both kids. If this 5 yr old is a child from a previous relationship, discuss this boundary with the ex. If an agreement to and enforcement of a boundary is not possible, seeking a family therapist's help can be a supportive source of how to deal with the youngster's behavior.

Good luck to you!
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