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Abuse techniques at work

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Re: Abuse techniques at work

Postby Philonoe » Sat Feb 24, 2018 9:31 am

I had a dream this week. I was pursued by some known criminal and tried to run away, until i escaped closing the door. When i woke up, i had that sensation in the jaw that i have since i left that job.
Today i watched the website of the company : more then 40% of the company are new. He is slowly replacing the sick ones :(
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Re: Abuse techniques at work

Postby Titantula » Tue May 08, 2018 8:27 pm

Philonoe wrote:So i changed job recently after running away from abuse at work (pemanent devaluation, trying to create tensions between people, isolating me, impossible goals, no structure, etc.)

Recently during group walk i talked with a lady who had burnout. I was surprised how our stories were similar. She didn't work from one year, but looks tired and depressed. She was devalued all the time. All what she did was wrong. She was very invested person. She had good results, good relations with people, honest.
After the break, he tried to force meeting. He lied to meet her. He pretended that he hadn't received important documents. My manager did the same. Force meeting. I didn't want, she neither. I didn't want - and don't want ever to see those benevolent eyes and this cold quietness trying to force contact.

It takes time to recover energy. It takes time to recover internal love. I didn't imagine that.

It was only one year. Only one person. Only job. How is it for people who have such parents?


When you start a new job just start introducing yourself to everyone, be a little chatty, and ask questions about your job. You will know pretty quickly if there are any toxic staff in the office and if the manager is professional.

Rude, abrasive, controlling, sarcastic, dominating, moody, bitchy work colleagues doing there thing in an office where the manager is present and does nothing should set alarm bells ringing in your head.

My advice is that if any of the above shannigans is going on dont go back the 2nd day.
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Re: Abuse techniques at work

Postby Philonoe » Wed May 09, 2018 12:46 pm

Yes better listen to alarm bells as soon as possible.

Some times they can appear during the interview.

- I remember a manager explaining me that half of the people couldn't adapt to his new (very good) management and didn't work there any more (not sure if gone or fired) after 2 years. I didn't sign :wink:. I remember being suffocated by the cigarettes that he was smoking during the interview.

- Recently a manager explained me that of course it was necessary to work much more hours than written on the contract. I had immediat pain in the belly. I don't know if he noticed but... he didn't chose me.

There are plenty of courses on how to get a job - I don't know many on how to choose a good one.
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Re: Abuse techniques at work

Postby Titantula » Sat May 12, 2018 12:32 pm

Philonoe wrote:So i changed job recently after running away from abuse at work (pemanent devaluation, trying to create tensions between people, isolating me, impossible goals, no structure, etc.)

Recently during group walk i talked with a lady who had burnout. I was surprised how our stories were similar. She didn't work from one year, but looks tired and depressed. She was devalued all the time. All what she did was wrong. She was very invested person. She had good results, good relations with people, honest.
After the break, he tried to force meeting. He lied to meet her. He pretended that he hadn't received important documents. My manager did the same. Force meeting. I didn't want, she neither. I didn't want - and don't want ever to see those benevolent eyes and this cold quietness trying to force contact.

It takes time to recover energy. It takes time to recover internal love. I didn't imagine that.

It was only one year. Only one person. Only job. How is it for people who have such parents?


Whether someone stays just a day or for a few years then we have all had your experience at some point. Unfortunately there are people in life who think getting to the top is all about screwing over everyone else. We all become wised up to detecting bad jobs overtime. You can tell during a job interview if you ask the right questions:

1. Whats the turnover of staff like? Then follow it up with how many employees are on the team and how many have been here less than 2 years.
2. How has this position arisen?
3. Has anybody over the last five years gone off sick with stress, anxiety, or depression?
4. Can I meet the staff? If they let you then have a 30 seconds chat with each. Just ask them their name, what they do, and if they are good at their job? Note if any are vile when talking to you. Note if anybody in the office tries to take over the quick chats you are having with each person. Note any tension or bad atmosphere between them.
5. Psycopaths/sociopaths fake emotions but dont really understand them so give your interviewing manager a moral dilema question and look out for any odd answers.
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