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What would you do?

Open Discussions on the Problems of Bullying.

What would you do?

Postby EdmAB » Thu Apr 13, 2006 4:58 pm

So I know this couple (family friends, if you can call them friends) and I don't like them. In fact, I am so upset with the way they talk to me that I want to completely ignore them, but I'm afraid this would make me look like a bad person in front of others. Let me explain this in more detail. Those two family friends think that they are superior to anyone, amd when they talk to me or to other people about young people, I get the sense that they always think that we (teens) are losers, good at nothing. This one time, they were over at my house and this subject was brought up about children (and teens I guess); at one point, he (the faimly friend) says to my dad: when I look at them [your kids], I don't want to have any kids myself. And no, that wasn't a joke, beacuse I was right there in front of them and by the tone he used, I could tell he means it. This other time, we were over in a provincial park with some other friends, and we were all looking at some kids playing in a playground, and they were just being loud, you know, just playing and having fun. My dad, joking, said soemthing like "Man, are they loud!" but it didn't mean anything, it didn't bother him or any of us, it was just a plain observation. Right after this, he (the same family friend) says: and you've taught yours (your children) to say nothing. I agree I was quite shy in the past and didn't feel comfortable talking to people, but that doesn't give him the right to say anything like that. Even worse, his wife called me "speech-impaired" one time, for the same reason, that I am shy and reserved and don't really like to talk to people. I just don't think anyone has the right to bully me (if you can call it bullying, but I can't see what else it is). I'm a good person and wouldn't hurt anyone in any way; I think I deserve to be treated differently, not with indifference like they do. I tried talking to my parents about it, but it's kind of useless. They would either tell me that I'm too sensitive or ignore me and tell me that they will talk to those family friends, which they never did. I don't think my parents want to tell them anything because those friends are quite close to the family. Not close in the way that they are relatives, but my parents are their godfather and godmother. I'm probalby an idiot, but I always keep remembering all those times that they have upset me, and, as I said, I don't wnat to talk to them anymore, and I want to ignore completely. What would you guys do? I've tried thinking of behaving normally, the way I do with other people, but I feel as if I have to prove myself, prove that I am not the person they think I am and that it is not ok for them to talk to me the way they do.


Postby tat » Fri Apr 14, 2006 5:50 am


Listen, your not an idiot! I use to be exactly like you when I was younger! I was once so shy it felt like it was socially cripled.

Because your shy and don't truly speak up for yourself it later eats you up. Your mad, fustrated and why? Because you din't say what you wanted to say to those jerks then and there and now your in your room talking out loud like there actually there listening to you. Don't do this anymore!

That fustration is only eating you up. Those people don't know or probably don't care if your angry or fustrated. Also these people seem to keep at there agressive comments because they now they can do so without you telling them any different. You have to step in.

This is what you need to do. It's the same thing I did. I made a agreement with myself. This is the agreement: From this day forward, if someone pisses me off in anyway. If someone does something I don't like, I have to say something right then and there because Im tired of being pissed off later because I allowed them to piss me off.

For example, even if someone takes a pencil from off your desk without asking permission, say something. "Hey, did I say you could borrow my pencil?" Let people know that you know what there up to and that your not going to stand by and take it.

It might feel wird at first, almost like your being mean, but take notice of peoples reaction. Your shocking them because your actually catching them in something they thought you weren't on point to.

If you start to stand up to this family, believe me they will take notice. If there close with your family like you said, they will be smart not to offend you again. If you speak your discomfort to their comments, as adults they would be wise to back off. To offend you is to offend your parents and believe me; they don't want that kind of confrontation.

Postby Alethiea » Sat Apr 15, 2006 12:03 am

Alberta, right? Wicked. I was out there last year in the fall. FROZE. :cry:

Okay. No, this is not bullying. These people are idiots, they are jerks, yes, but they are not following you around trying to make your life difficult. They are just not a pleasure to be around and it's just as well they aren't breeding, imo.

There's no need to care what they think. You don't have to prove yourself to anyone. If you are unfortunately caught in a social situation where they insult you, stay calm and respond if you feel it's worth the trouble (and there will be trouble; these people are like this because they feel they have the right to say whatever they want to people. They aren't going to take kindly to being told they don't).

They are not your friends, they are your parent's friends, so you don't have to choose to talk to them. Just ignore them and walk away, whenever possible. Think to yourself, "yeah, I'm speech impaired but guess what, you're old."

If you do choose to insult them, make sure it has something to do with being younger than them. Trust me on this one. :twisted:

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