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Postby nepha » Wed Jun 19, 2019 11:35 am

I ve been a bulimic for 12 years now . I am 27. I need help. therapy does not work. I really want to get over this but whenever the urge come with a bunch of unwanted emotions I just cant control myself. I need some views on what I can do . I am a very independent person thus I actually don't cry for help to anyone . My family knows but ignores the problem and I do not blame them . I was 17 when they tried to help but I told them to leave me alone and I ll manage to solve this . They believed in me . The problem is I dont believe in myself anymore . This problem is consuming my thoughts my life and my future. I cannot stand this anymore. Self discipline seems a very hard thing to do . I am a functioning individual well adapted in society which I find quite absurd to mention because I really believe we have created a system that is ######6 with us subconsciously . Anyway my philosophical views are not the problem here although I strongly believe that everything is connected. I need some views on what I can do to control myself. Don't mention therapy . I ve tried it countless times. I even stayed for 3 whole days in a ######6 place for people with eating disorders. Dint fit in . I guess that's why I still got this thing . I am usually cheerful and try to hide my ######6 pain but I cant do this anymore. Sometimes I feel like no-one cares... and why would they ?? Everyone lives in their own little world quite egocentric and narcissistic ..... Sometimes I meet people that touch me ... You know like I understand they are not like this .... Those I want to listen for hours without feeling the need to talk ... the need to get validation or the need to dominate... I wish the world was full of those people...... I sincerely ask for help .... Just views .... I know this message is quite disorganized ..... I am not gonna justify but I guess I have already done ..... Thanks in advance...
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Postby thegentlepath » Wed Jun 26, 2019 3:06 pm

Hi nepha. Are there any support groups near you?
National Eating Disorders Association helpline: 1-800-931-2237.
Remember: relapse is part of recovery.

I also struggle with emotional regulation. For me, developing as many coping mechanisms as I’m able has been the most helpful. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don’t, but they definitely won’t work if I don’t do them. It’s simple, but it’s not easy.

Good luck & please keep writing.
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