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How are you today? *TW*

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Re: How are you today? *TW*

Postby weepingwillow » Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:56 pm

Hey everyone :D
I hope you are all doing ok.

I'm much better today! :mrgreen:
I got up early, got dressed then cleaned the house top to bottom.

I had an apple for a snack and i'm going to try a bit of cottage cheese on a cracker instead of dry.
Then i'm going to have a nice bubble bath and relax in my pjs before my daughter comes home.

((Hugs)) :mrgreen:
Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
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Re: How are you today? *TW*

Postby Priscilla13 » Wed Jan 23, 2013 7:11 pm

Hi willow!

I tried several times last night to post a reply but for some reason the site kept kicking me out!
Oh I see that you are feeling better today, that's wonderful! You were correct to post last night...the point of the thread is to give each other support! If we were always positive and having great days, I'm not too sure we would have found our way here. :wink:

You mentioned that there are not specific people that trigger a binge, but that it often happens after work. It sounds that much like me, work triggers them. Have you ever tried to pinpoint why that happens? I was reading a workbook that I downloaded from the internet several years ago and one sentence popped out at me. It said something like, "Food does not trigger binges...it is relationships with people that triggers them. The desire to connect with others and the difficulty that certain people feel when trying to do that." I think that I can relate to that.

Treating yourself to a nice bath and some down time sounds like a great idea.

Thus far my day has been good. I was very tempted to binge last night and I did have a couple of pieces of this orange candy that I like. I stopped and said.."Okay you have just consumed 400 calories. That's not too bad, but if you keep it up you will be at 2000 before you know it Priscilla!"

And so I stopped. I didn't let the feeling of "Well you have all ready screwed up so you may as well continue" totally get me off track. I assessed the 'damage' realized it could be worse and watched some television.

I find that really trying to make a conscious effort to stop before or before it gets out of hand can help. I think we all get in to the zone and binge in like a trance state. I'm making an effort not to do that and to try to stop my typical 'all or nothing' thinking.

Hope everyone else is doing well!

P :)
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
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Re: How are you today? *TW*

Postby weepingwillow » Wed Jan 23, 2013 8:07 pm

Hey,

Priscilla13 wrote:I tried several times last night to post a reply but for some reason the site kept kicking me out!
Oh I see that you are feeling better today, that's wonderful! You were correct to post last night...the point of the thread is to give each other support! If we were always positive and having great days, I'm not too sure we would have found our way here. :wink:


I was having problems with the site last night too.
Thats so true - we probably wouldn't be here if everyday was good.

Priscilla13 wrote:You mentioned that there are not specific people that trigger a binge, but that it often happens after work. It sounds that much like me, work triggers them. Have you ever tried to pinpoint why that happens?


I really don't think its specifically work, if i'm away from home for any length of time i always binge as soon as i get home. But then again, if i don't go out i binge anyway. I have no idea what causes them. I just get a kind of nervous, panic feeling and it doesn't go away untill after i throw up. I keep being told if i eat little and often i will stop binging but so far i haven't seen any improvement. I'm keeping at it tho :D

Priscilla13 wrote:Thus far my day has been good. I was very tempted to binge last night and I did have a couple of pieces of this orange candy that I like. I stopped and said.."Okay you have just consumed 400 calories. That's not too bad, but if you keep it up you will be at 2000 before you know it Priscilla!"
And so I stopped. I didn't let the feeling of "Well you have all ready screwed up so you may as well continue" totally get me off track. I assessed the 'damage' realized it could be worse and watched some television.
I find that really trying to make a conscious effort to stop before or before it gets out of hand can help. I think we all get in to the zone and binge in like a trance state. I'm making an effort not to do that and to try to stop my typical 'all or nothing' thinking.


Thats great that you were able to stop before it went too far!! Well done! :mrgreen:
You give me hope that one day i will get to where you are - Thank you so much for that!

My bath ended up being a cold one but have been able to relax for a while. I've done ok with eating today. I did put cottage cheese on a cracker and i also had a low fat yoghurt at dinner time. :D

((Hugs)) for you all
Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
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Re: How are you today? *TW*

Postby Priscilla13 » Thu Jan 24, 2013 3:55 pm

Hi willow, just checking in for a moment. My day has been good so far.

After reading this-
weepingwillow wrote:
I really don't think its specifically work, if i'm away from home for any length of time i always binge as soon as i get home. But then again, if i don't go out i binge anyway. I have no idea what causes them. I just get a kind of nervous, panic feeling and it doesn't go away untill after i throw up. I keep being told if i eat little and often i will stop binging but so far i haven't seen any improvement. I'm keeping at it tho


I was wondering a couple of things, you may have all ready answered these questions in another post, sorry if that is the case...but it sounds to me like an anxiety issue such as Gernarlized Anxiety Disorder. My eating disorder is caused by anxiety...that nervous panic feeling. I can also get extremely irritable feeling too. Has anyone every mentioned that anxiety could be the cause of your issues? Your doctor can prescribe some medicine to help with that. I take Wellbutrin.

I am not sure who told you to eat little and often, that is often a tactic used to keep people from getting hungry so then they don't go overboard at their next meal. However it is not my experience that I binge because I am hungry, hunger often has nothing to do with it. Slightly over eating when I am hungry may be typical...but a full on binge is caused by anxiety and my inability to deal with whatever emotions I happen to be feeling at that time.

weepingwillow wrote:
I've done ok with eating today. I did put cottage cheese on a cracker and i also had a low fat yoghurt at dinner time.


willow do you mean that all you have eaten all day was cottage cheese on a cracker and a yoghurt? If that is the case then that is not enough.

I eat three meals a day. I try to make them healthy, but they are not always perfect and I usally have two small snacks, like a youghurt or some pretzels. I ran my typical 3 miles this morning and did 30 minutes of toning. I make sure that I have enough calories to have the energy that I need all day. If you are eating such small amounts, that can surely lead to headaches and lack of energy! Maybe I misunderstood what you were saying though.

Thus far my day has been quiet. That is helpful for me...I need at least a couple of quiet days a week. Helps keep me from being overwhelmed because I have the time to get things done that I need to do without a million interruptions. I wish that I didn't need so much calm and quiet time, people don't always understand, but that is just the way that I am. :|

Hope everyone is doing well. Hope others post more! :wink:
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Re: How are you today? *TW*

Postby weepingwillow » Thu Jan 24, 2013 5:06 pm

Hey,

Thats good, i'm glad your day has been going good :D

Priscilla13 wrote:I was wondering a couple of things, you may have all ready answered these questions in another post, sorry if that is the case...but it sounds to me like an anxiety issue such as Gernarlized Anxiety Disorder. My eating disorder is caused by anxiety...that nervous panic feeling. I can also get extremely irritable feeling too. Has anyone every mentioned that anxiety could be the cause of your issues? Your doctor can prescribe some medicine to help with that. I take Wellbutrin.


If i have already answered i can't remember so its ok :wink: (my memory is crap).
I do have anxiety. I've only just started treatment for everything (Ive only just had my first appt with a psychiatric nurse) so i think things are still getting worked out. I'm taking Fluoxetine for depression. It does make sense tho..

Priscilla13 wrote:I am not sure who told you to eat little and often, that is often a tactic used to keep people from getting hungry so then they don't go overboard at their next meal. However it is not my experience that I binge because I am hungry, hunger often has nothing to do with it. Slightly over eating when I am hungry may be typical...but a full on binge is caused by anxiety and my inability to deal with whatever emotions I happen to be feeling at that time.


The girl i see at an eating disorder charity has been helping me for a few months now. When i first met her i wasn't eating anything at all (except binging) so i needed to start adding little things. Maybe shes trying to get me to eat more so then it will be easier to figure out what causes the binges, idk.

Priscilla13 wrote:I eat three meals a day. I try to make them healthy, but they are not always perfect and I usally have two small snacks, like a youghurt or some pretzels. I ran my typical 3 miles this morning and did 30 minutes of toning. I make sure that I have enough calories to have the energy that I need all day. If you are eating such small amounts, that can surely lead to headaches and lack of energy! Maybe I misunderstood what you were saying though.


Thats what i'm aiming for. I know i need more calories but i panic, i'm terrified of gaining weight! I think it will take quite a while for things to change.

Priscilla13 wrote:Thus far my day has been quiet. That is helpful for me...I need at least a couple of quiet days a week. Helps keep me from being overwhelmed because I have the time to get things done that I need to do without a million interruptions. I wish that I didn't need so much calm and quiet time, people don't always understand, but that is just the way that I am. :|


I know what you mean about needing quite days, I'm the same. Today has been pretty quiet for me too and i have found it helpful aswell.
Don't worry too much if ppl don't understand you needing time to yourself, do whats good for you! :wink:

Priscilla13 wrote:Hope everyone is doing well. Hope others post more! :wink:


I second that! lol :mrgreen:
And i hope the rest of your day goes really well

((Hugs))
Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
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Re: How are you today? *TW*

Postby weepingwillow » Fri Jan 25, 2013 6:52 pm

Hey everyone, I hope you are all having a good day :D

My day hasn't exactly gone to plan but it could have been worse.
I only got about 3 hours sleep last night. I started off well this mornig, had a small breakfast and a small snack but it kind of all went downhill after that.
I'm still in a pretty good mood tho :D

I was expecting to hear about my test results today but haven't heard anything so i'm hoping no news is good news!

I choked earlier when i was being sick! It was awful :( Thats the second time thats happened. I'm ok now tho :)

Anyway, hope all is well
((Hugs))
Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
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Re: How are you today? *TW*

Postby Priscilla13 » Sat Jan 26, 2013 2:52 am

Hi willow! (love your new avatar!)

I’m sorry that you didn’t have the best day and that you didn’t hear about your test results. Things like that I find hard to just put out of my mind.

I wouldn’t say I had the best day either. Didn’t binge but was way more 'snacky' than I’d like to be. It really would be good if I was better at meal planning, but I just am not. For some reason today I am in one of my ‘resentful moods.’ Resentful that all of this is so much work. Resentful of the happiness that it steals from me and the stress that it gives me. Resentful that I have to have these ‘little talks with myself’ about why I should not binge and how bad I will feel afterwards. I will continue to do them, I really have no choice.

I miss the concave feeling of my stomach and the feel of my hipbones. I loved the way those things felt. Sometimes I’d just lay there and place my hand on my stomach and feel that lovely curve in, as opposed to out. Feel my hip bones jut slightly out. I really felt physically better. I hope that soon I can lose a little of the weight that I have gained over the last year. Just a little, not a lot. Finding a balance is just not always either. Oh well like Scarlet said (from Gone With The Wind) tomorrow is another day!

(((Hugs!)))
P.
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Re: How are you today? *TW*

Postby jilkens » Sat Jan 26, 2013 4:48 am

Priscilla13 wrote:I miss the concave feeling of my stomach and the feel of my hipbones. I loved the way those things felt. Sometimes I’d just lay there and place my hand on my stomach and feel that lovely curve in, as opposed to out. Feel my hip bones jut slightly out. I really felt physically better


Can really relate to this. I think that feeling better was the feeling of being clean, pure, unpolluted by the anxieties controlled by the eating disorder. Physically I was deteriorating.

Today I'm on a roller coaster of being drugged and the hyperness peaking through it. I'm not sedated enough but not energetic enough, either.

And I feel horribly fat. Ug.
Blame it on me, but know that I won't regret one iota.
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Re: How are you today? *TW*

Postby weepingwillow » Sat Jan 26, 2013 8:36 am

Hey,

Priscilla13 wrote:I wouldn’t say I had the best day either. Didn’t binge but was way more 'snacky' than I’d like to be. It really would be good if I was better at meal planning, but I just am not. For some reason today I am in one of my ‘resentful moods.’ Resentful that all of this is so much work. Resentful of the happiness that it steals from me and the stress that it gives me. Resentful that I have to have these ‘little talks with myself’ about why I should not binge and how bad I will feel afterwards. I will continue to do them, I really have no choice.

Sorry you didn't have a great day either. I know what you mean about being resentful, It's hard not to be sometimes - esp when you see others who don't have the same worries/fears and can just eat without thinking about it. That's why i find being here so helpful, It helps to know i'm not the only one feeling like that.
Priscilla13 wrote:Sometimes I’d just lay there and place my hand on my stomach and feel that lovely curve in, as opposed to out. Feel my hip bones jut slightly out.

I'm the same with my hip bones and collar bones, its kind of a habit now that i keep checking to make sure i can still feel them.
Priscilla13 wrote:like Scarlet said (from Gone With The Wind) tomorrow is another day!

That's one of my favourite quotes, I use that one quite alot when i've had a bad day :D
ladyswan wrote:Today I'm on a roller coaster of being drugged and the hyperness peaking through it. I'm not sedated enough but not energetic enough, either.

That doesn't sound like much fun, I can't imagine what that would be like.

I really hope today is a better day for you both!

I have to work later and i'm not really looking forward to it - i think i'm working with opinionated girl :roll: . Shes taking a few months off soon tho!! :mrgreen: At least i'll be kept busy for a few hours.

((Hugs))
Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
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Re: How are you today? *TW*

Postby lils » Sat Jan 26, 2013 7:42 pm

Hey everyone

I totally get the hip bones thing! It's deffo about how I feel & that will dictate if I have a good day. At the moment trying to add more food into my day just makes me feel like I'm constantly eating. & coz I'm quite muscular my weight isn't that low, which is also hard to accept coz my head still tells me I eat too much so I have to throw up & exercise to make up for it.
Does anyone think u ever stop wanting to be smaller? Coz unless that happens I don't c how its possible to stop this kinda thinking...

It's great to hear how people r getting on (u c willow, great idea for a topic!) I like your gone with the wind quote, I'm not a film person so didn't know it. One I like from a bio type book is that FEAR has 2 meanings: F**k Everything And Run or Face Everything And Recover. I know which I wanna happen but i know which comes easier...

Also can I ask, I've been referred to ed team who will contact me for an assessment, has anyone been thru this assessment, any thoughts? I've had a general counselling assessment but not specific ed one.

Take care everyone x
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