Our partner

paranoia and psychosis: are they related.

Brief Psychotic Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

paranoia and psychosis: are they related.

Postby np01 » Sun Oct 04, 2015 7:12 am

Hello.

I have a massive issue with paranoia. I get completely scared of what others are saying. are people laughing at me? are they hating me? are they going to leave me and say more bad things about me? and for the most part, I have fallen into the trap that I am scared of what anybody is saying all the time.

and I know that I have a delusional / paranoid issue as it pertains with cameras. to put it lightly: I fear that people are always looking at me and think I am ugly because of my lovehandles that stick out too much, so when they take pictures, I try to get out of it because they are going to critique how I look and laugh at me and then post it on the internet, where everyone will focus in on me in the picture (even if I am just in the background) and laugh and then I become a worldwide meme and everyone laughs and I am a laughingstock and my parents learn of it and they hate me. then the rest of my family will know and they will laugh. So I dodge every and all cameras in life and even get violent when I know someone takes a picture. um... does this count as psychosis?

but now onto the real question.

-------------

I am part of a reddit subreddit that is tight knit. we are all friends there.

last month, I got spooked with everyone yelling at me, GF leaving me, doctor threatening to drop me so I get fired from work, and a psychological exam. I got the feeling that they all were trying to get me fired. I went to attempt suicide by jumping off some mountainside/cliff thing in northern Cali. I lived... and was taken to the hospital.

when I returned. they were upset that "I faked suicide for attention".

today, someone (actually 5 people working together) made an account to impersonate me and basically told me that I am hated and a manipulative troll. I was hurt. I am hurt. I feel... horrible.

fine. I feel like absolute $#%^. after 3 hrs of fighting to prove that I am who I am and I did try suicide, I went into my closet and cried for 4 hrs. my neighbor started banging on the wall of the closet to get me to shut up.

Intrusive thoughts (I also am Pure-O OCD) about the whole ordeal, what they are thinking, what they are saying, how they feel about me, how they came together and what they said is still flowing through my head. it hurts. now I really don't know if anyone can be trusted. I feel that all my friends are saying things about me and nobody really likes me. that there are more than 5 people that hate me.

----------------------------------

to be honest, I hate it when I get absolutely triggered like this episode. I spend all day scared, crying, stuck in thought, and pretty much losing control and thinking about suicide and recording it to show my friends so they know that I am sorry for failing a suicide and making it up to them to make them happy with me by succeeding.

is paranoia part of psychotic episodes? and what can I do about all this? My doc won't give antipsychotics and took me off the risperidol that I was on before... is there anything I can do tonight. I am in a really bad place...
np01
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 421
Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2015 6:10 am
Local time: Thu Mar 04, 2021 4:30 pm
Blog: View Blog (1)


ADVERTISEMENT

Return to Brief Psychotic Disorder




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests