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Why did this happen to me? Long but please read and answer?!

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Why did this happen to me? Long but please read and answer?!

Postby EricC97 » Sun Nov 17, 2013 1:31 am

I did not know where to put this but figured I'd get some replies here. I had 3 or 4 nightmares consecutively. I may of woke up sometime during the nightmares but I also could of still been sleeping. I remember two, and vividly. They're the ones that I actually woke up screaming from. The first I remember I was watching a never before seen (not real in real life), episode of Futurama. Zoidberg's head got cut off and I saw his head and another Zoidberg (which would be a clone). Then it cut to the lobby where they all sit and discuss stuff. Hermes was in a weird robe (like medieval I think) and he floated up and fell in a boiling pot of lava. It was like a real creepypasta. Things got physically distorted like the top right corner bubbling and I got a sense of intense fear and woke up (real or still dreaming I don't know), I fell back asleep and somehow ended up at this place where there were these religious pathways. One for guys one for girls. The one for guys was short and I could see the building (like a sanctuary I think). The girls path was MUCH longer and I might of see the end with not a building but something that I couldn't identify. I woke up in my room in another dream. I was playing Sonic Dash on my iPod (which I deleted for lagging issues, but that's kind off point). All the obstacles and red star rings were whitish grayish. It was the girls path from the dream before. I realized I had two objects in my hands and never saw what they were. But there was a knife under me and I felt that a demon possessed me and did it or I just did it unconsciously. Sometime before that dream I read a story about some weird creature, like creepypasta. Then some other time while dreaming I found out it wasn't the original version and found the original one. Both versions were in my dream btw, nothing from real life. The stories were in a physical book. But the dream with the knife was the final one. I woke up screaming from it and my back was covered in sweat. Some things for me to say, I was not reading creepypastas before going to sleep, or at anytime of the day even. I wasn't watching anything. The only negative thoughts I had before going to sleep were (I'm almost 18 btw), how college may be too expensive and if I can't go I won't have a life, I won't know what to do without it, I won't get to make decent money, I won't get to make friends, all my friends will be gone starting their own life. I won't get to meet a girl and I'll end up either at home forever or in a trashy apartment on the couch or bed gaming and watching TV all day. And I'll be obese and there will be wrappers and cans (I may of even turned to alcohol even though I don't ever want to drink it, it would be out of desperation) of soda and/or beer. In the dreams I just wanted to wake up but couldn't. I could move in the dreams, but no matter what I tried I couldn't wake up. When I finally woke up after the knife one I got up and stayed up (it was like 10 AM). I woke up feeling very mean and hateful (I'm the COMPLETE opposite). The only thing I can think of is the dreams had something to do with it. It went away after an hour or so. My dad was yelling at me for something and a while back I lost my ability to deal with that as good because it was non stop at the time. I snapped and screamed STOP IT! I AM TIRED OF THIS! It just came out and I don't remember it all word for word. I made fists and stood up straight and said DO YOU WANNA FIGHT IT OUT! CAUSE I THINK YOU DO! I didn't really want to fight though. This has never happened before so I guess he didn't know how to react, I've never blown up like that. He sure shut up and walked away and said maybe I need to call the cops in you (thinking of last year when he attacked me and my mom from being drunk and quitting an antidepressant cold turkey) but he didn't. I had started crying because I felt I failed myself by not handling my anger better. I know its natural but it doesn't feel good getting all irrational. He could easily beat my butt if he wanted but he also probably didn't know I could be like that, I've never been aggressive or anything. I'm a nice, calm guy. But he just pushed me too far finally. I'm still me, that behavior was just during the blowup. He said he wasn't mad about the actual blow up, and apologized for causing it. I decided to apologize for getting like that even though he kept pushing me to it. It was about him telling me to call somewhere to see if they had paper apps and I said I wanted to see online first and if they didn't let you hire online then I'd do that. But he yelled at me to call cause he wants everyone to things the way he did when he was my age. Apparently I pose way more of a threat if I'm irrational then rational. Probably because I'm not a big guy, but acting in a crazy way can be scary anyway. It shows hey I'm dangerous right now you wanna try something? I've got adrenaline and a psychotic episode to help me! Anyone else experienced everything or any of what I posted? Please say if its everything or not, if not everything then what? When I first woke up I felt like I wanted to admit myself to a psychiatric hospital because I wanted to feel normal. At first it still felt like a dream but I was awake, it felt like being in another universe. I knew it was all in my head but it feels bad being stuck like the world is fine but you're stuck in your inside of your body with a malfunctioning brain. I have had anger building up from his crap, we all have, he may not have bad intentions but he could also take a moment and think about that everyone is different and everyone is not like him. When I blew up it was spontaneous and was hitting the counters with my fists (nothing broke) and that probably made him think to not mess with me.
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Re: Why did this happen to me? Long but please read and answ

Postby 4F4L » Sun Nov 17, 2013 7:01 pm

dude im about to turn 17 and well i just found out my best friend has Schizophrenia. and after reading your story it reminded me of him. now idk if u have Schizophrenia but what im saying is that my friend had very similar things happen to him. now me i dont know whats up with me, i like idk for example, am having a conversation with my friend and after its over the conversation just keeps going in my head ( only when im alone really) i talk to my self all the time in my head, i make up arguments with other people in my head and i just keep talking in my head. a lot of times at night i like to daydream, make up all sorts of different types of storys of my self and i actually enjoy it. i do that a lot and sometimes after like daydreaming at night it turns into a dream and sometimes i know im dreaming. which is cool but the bad thing is since i think to much and talk to myself about everything and make up conversation i havent even had yet with other people is that sometimes it goes on override and im thinking something negative like some family member dying or if i might have like a really bad mental disorder that i just keep thinking it and i cant stop and it wont let me daydream or even sleep because im just thinking about it. and this other thing that bothers me is that i sometimes interview myself and its really annoying because its like that negative thing, i just wont stop interviewing myself and well im just glad i havent had myself interviewed in awhile lol. and this is the first time i ever actually tell anybody all this. and i dont think its a bad thing to have whatever i have, its just i wish i could control it. a thing that helps me is just daydreaming. daydreaming of a life i wish i had. or i just listen to music and sing inside my head that helps too. and now after writing all this and reading it for myself i start thinking that im just crazy. but idk, i just think to much, and maybe because im just lonely a lot of the time that i keep myself company. and i also dont think its a disorder that i was born with but that i like picked up because well i've been to a different school every year up untill my 11th grade. ( my parents split up and my dad was deported, and this happened when i was like in 3rd or 4rth grade so my mom had to raise 3 kids by her self) so it was hard, and thats why ive moved a lot because we had to. so ive met a lot of people but not made a lot of friends. so when i finished 11th i decided to take online school and this is now my 2nd year in it. but online school u dont have people in class u just read stuff and answer stuff and a teacher grades it. and the only friends like real freinds i have is my best friend E who i grew up because my mom dated his dad at one point. and like my friend H who i met over E. and like 4 other friends but their not as close as E and H. and well my best friend E had to move back in with his mom because he got high and drunk and had to go to the hospital. and thats when they said he had Schizophrenia
Last edited by janjones on Mon Nov 18, 2013 12:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Why did this happen to me? Long but please read and answ

Postby Yorkshirelass » Mon Nov 18, 2013 11:37 am

That is pretty scary. You need to visit your doctor and explain, you are under a lot of stress and need help.
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Re: Why did this happen to me? Long but please read and answ

Postby EricC97 » Tue Nov 19, 2013 4:25 am

If it doesn't happen again I'd rather not tell my doctor because what if I get admitted and put on meds for a problem I don't even have?
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