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Will he be okay

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Will he be okay

Postby Tinkerbell17 » Thu Nov 26, 2020 5:04 pm

We both have BPD.

We have been in no communication for a month after we both blocked each other. We have both been stalking each others social media. Him stalking more than me.

I deleted all my social media and changed my number today because I don't want to do this anymore. I'm tired.

I still love him. I suppose I just want to know he will be okay?
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Re: Will he be okay

Postby Remember Ronni » Thu Nov 26, 2020 6:00 pm

Yes, of course he will. I don't mean this to sound harsh but he left you and went off with someone else. I think he's doing just fine.

You do need to stop the stalking stuff. You know on FB if you block someone you can't see them or their posts and they can't see you. if I were you I would just block him and move on with your life. Change your user name. Stop looking at his social media too. It won't help.

Not all relationships are meant to last a lifetime. Take what you've learned from this one and move on with your own life. Let him worry about him. It sounds like a clean break, at least for a while, is best for both of you.
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Re: Will he be okay

Postby Tinkerbell17 » Thu Nov 26, 2020 6:18 pm

Thank You for your compassion and soothing words SMH. Are you sure you should be on this forum with such a nasty attitude?
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Re: Will he be okay

Postby Remember Ronni » Fri Nov 27, 2020 1:46 pm

I spent about 25 years as a Divorce Lawyer and mediator. So I can be a bit blunt at time. But it is the "tough-love" kind of blunt. I could tell you what you want to hear, or I could give you my honest opinion, which people are prone to do on a public forum.

Again I am sorry if I offended you, that wasn't my intention.

As for the forum well I've been here a while now, I was also a Green Mod for a time. And I have BPD so I think that means I am allowed to be here. But I won't comment on your posts again as I just seem to be upsetting you. I'm sorry for that.

(We have spoken about this now - in case anyone wonders).
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Re: Will he be okay

Postby Tinkerbell17 » Fri Nov 27, 2020 2:03 pm

I finally got some sleep. Thank You
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Re: Will he be okay

Postby jaus tail » Mon Nov 30, 2020 5:43 am

i think one of the troubling aspects of bpd is black n white thinking. with me, i either have to be super best close friends with someone or i let them be.

once i overheard a colleague planning to go on some trip to some wildlife sanctuary, n immediately i started dreaming that we'd go together and be buddies.

theres always a middle ground. in ur case, u can ask a common friend is ur ex is fine.

its okay if he's not fine for sometime. not fine doesnt mean he's crying, whimpering, having a nervous breakdown, hyperventilating.

maybe he's missing you, maybe he recalls some memories and wishes things were different.

but if he misses you, he can call you. missing someone doesnt necessarily mean you have to get back with them.

i miss my old friends but i dont want to talk with them.
1) talking with them wont solve anything
2) they have moved on
3) after conversing with them, i feel drained

stalking on social media-- almost everyone does this. one of the vices of social media.

earlier i used to imagine a dramatized reunion with my friends. like in that tv show called friends where they'll come over and we'll have a big argument n in the end everything will be sorted out.

it never happened. i have birthday coming up and i still hope someone would call me. but they have moved on. i'm happy for them.
even if someone does call, it wont 'fix' me.

even if ur ex misses u, its ok. missing someone doesnt have to result in getting back with the person.

hope it didnt come across as harsh. it wasnt intended to be harsh.

and i dont think remember ronni was harsh as well. it sucks to have bpd and be so insensitive. i still am and its exhausting.
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Re: Will he be okay

Postby Remember Ronni » Tue Dec 01, 2020 2:09 am

Once again I am sorry I upset you. And perhaps it was insensitive of me. In my defence most of the time all I'm doing is paraphrasing what you've already said in earlier posts. It's just that when you're in that emotional whirlwind I know I'm not thinking straight. Age has taught me to step back from it and wait until my emotions are less haywire. I don't make the best decsions when I'm in that frame of mind.

If this relationship is meant to be then there's no rush. Maybe some time out is what you need right now. Distance sometimes helps us to see things more clearly. To work out what WE really want, and need rather than all our focus being on the other person.

I know I said I wouldn't comment but the tit for tat stalky stuff needs to stop. Just because you could end up destroying what relationship there is. It's not healthy for you either. It certainly isn't making you happy. From what I can see it's hurting you too.

Anyway I hope you manage to sort it all out, one way or another.
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