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What are the chances he’ll come back?

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What are the chances he’ll come back?

Postby baccab » Thu Nov 21, 2019 10:57 am

I broke up with my partner over him ignoring me/avoiding our scheduled plans. I sent some pretty mean messages and he blocked me that night without saying a word to me. Once I calmed down, I reached out to his friends/family to check on his well-being as I was concerned. That’s when he finally contacted me and apologised but said he needed me not to contact him for a ‘little while’ as he was going through mental/family issues and that life was weird for him. I did keep texting him most days after that, and he would often engage back in conversation. Mostly just me apologising for what I did, and asking him to return my things if he didn’t want to be with me.

A while later, I had asked him if he was seeing someone else/had cheated on me to which he denied and then indicated him being annoyed at me texting him after I said I’d give him space. That was the last I heard from him and that was over a month ago. I’ve since made more of an effort to give him space (only texting once a week - I was codependent on him with abandonment issues and why I broke up with him in the first place)

I deeply regret pushing him away and have expressed that to him. He hasn’t acknowledged our argument or our breakup but has replied about other stuff.

I’m very confused but I still want to make this work with him. Is it a lost cause?
We had a very short relationship but a very, very intense/caring/loving one. Throughout our relationship, he would often isolate/disappear for weeks at a time but this is the longest he’s gone without talking to me. I’m very scared he’ll never speak to me again. The only thing he’s said to me during our split is that he ‘couldnt access his feelings right now’ then a day later said he still had feelings for me. He said he would talk to me soon and expressed a possibility of him staying over at my place but that was over a month ago and not a word since.

I’m aiming to give him 2 weeks of space before checking in again with another light message, which is what I’ve been doing all month. Once light message a week

Is there anything else I can do?
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Re: What are the chances he’ll come back?

Postby Remember Ronni » Tue Dec 03, 2019 3:16 pm

Honestly you need to stop texting him.

Now I say this as someone who didn't and ended up being arrested for harassment of their ex partner.

Right now this is all encompassing for you. But carrying on as you are might end up getting you arrested. It will only push him further away. He asked you to stop contacting him. So respect his wishes and stop. Let him miss you.

Will he come back? Who knows? Probably not, in all honesty but keep going like this and you will put him off you for good.

I am sorry if that sounds a bit blunt, but I am talking from some experience on this. He hasn't forgotten who you are. He doesn't need constant reminders. Think Bunny Boiler. Don't be that girl. It is agony but this will not bring him back. Give him space. And hope. But don't keep contacting him, it won't help.
Diagnosed with Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (BPD)
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Re: What are the chances he’ll come back?

Postby Skiebs » Sun Nov 01, 2020 6:32 pm

I would suggest to STOP texting also..

There was a woman I was deeply in-love with and she was deeply in-love with me, people highly influenced her to leave me, and she didnt while I was in a 18 month treatment center (for deeper healing, and to help solidify my sobriety for us... I wish I was going jsut for myself but it was for our future. so I could be the man she needed me to be..)

Anyways she broke ties completely with me, said she was going away for a few days and said she would call me when she was back... She never called.... I was in panic... Did something happen to her?? Is she in trouble? I'm in treatment, I cant call when I want, I cant leave when I want.. whats going on???

Two days later i get the famous "Dear John" letter in the mail... I couldn't believe it... a few days prior she said she loved me and was so proud of me and that she couldnt wait to see me and be with me.. and three days later I get a letter stating how she can't be with me or EVEr be with me... it wasnt me... it was "her"

I left it alone for a few years, but still even to this day... she is the ONLY girl i think about, or want in life... I eventually messaged her and explained how I felt, and she agreed to think about possibly becoming my friend and starting over and see where things went... I was absolutely ESTATIC, she did still think about me... She did still love me... She missed me... She asked for a month to think about it and she would message me back...

30 days go by, and she didnt message back... It took all my strength not to text her those 30 days...

after the 30 days I was pretty certain she was over me, and I would never recieve a message...

I ended up meeting a cute young girl at a nail salon (yeah im a straight guy that gets pedis) and we kicked it off and started fallnig for each other.. I take her on a few dates and everything was great. I took a photo of us togehter and posted it to instagram...

Literally 1 hour after I made the post, the love of my life messages me...

She was extremely angry that I posted a picture of myself with another girl, although she didnt say she was jealous, but her anger said otherwise... (and thinking back about it, I purposely got with the salon girl in hopes that it WOULD bother my love, and it did... I got the validation i wanted.. but not the way i wanted)

She said it was insane that I couldnt wait for her reply, and that she was actually going to give me another chance... She got on instagram to message me that, but then saw I was with someone else, this hurt her badly...

It's been 4 years since then, she blocked me on all social media (I told her too, as the temptation to see how she is doing is too great for me) I haven't spoken to her since...

She recently has unblocked me for some reason... and I dont know what that means... but during a time of depression this last week I did send her a link to a youtube video of a song about how I really feel in my heart.. but I didnt say anything... She read the message but dont know if she watched it.. She didnt block me...

but I have to give her space... if I am suppose to be with this woman than she will come back to me.. I can't do anything or make her feel anything... Shes been single ever since we broke up (she did date my bestfriend very shortly after we broke up, but she explained she felt so horrible for it, and that it felt like she was kissing her brother..)

Anyways, I dont know if my story will help you in anyway or if you can relate it it at all, but I can say that nagging, stalking or messaging someone every single week is NOT going to help your case.

Just try to let go.... I have to let go every single day... I dont feel anything for any other woman.. If I do... it fades extremely fast. No one made me feel as good as she did, no one made me feel more important than she did.. I might never get that back, and expect not to. Just try your best... best wishes.
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