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Feeling unattractive

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Feeling unattractive

Postby easyy » Fri Nov 08, 2019 5:29 pm

First post here.

I'm a 25 year old male, and got diagnosed with BPD one year ago. Something I've always been struggling with since I was a teen is that I feel extremely repulsive and unattractive too women. I'm not sure in what extent I am.

I've been with around 50 women, and obviously alot of them where women I was really attracted too. Yet I still to this day feel like I'm repulsive to women. In my mind I just got lucky and the women who wanted too be with me where just giant outliers in the women population if it comes too taste.

I get told occasionaly that I'm good looking, but some times I really have the feeling that woman want nothing to do with me because of my face. I've never actually been told I've been ugly, except for when I was a kid.

I don't know what to believe. I'm not sure if I can deal with the fact that I'm unattractive. I get so sad about the thought of being unattractive, that alot of great relationships with women I loved broke off because of my insecurity. I then believe that the woman who is in a relationship with me doesn't like me for my looks, but for other aspects (which is also a nice though, but I have an extreem need to be validated on my looks).

I have an extreem longing to be sexually appealing to the other sex. I switch from feeling attractive and unattractive multiple times a week, and this is one of my main reasons for me mood swings. When I had situation where it seems like a girl doesn't like me or thinks I'm unattractive, I'm depressed for a few days. Even if I had sex with 3 different women that week (doesn't happen much).

In a social event I always feel like the ugliest guy there, even though alot of times there is no indidaction for me to think this. I always base these kind of conclusions on "no women noticed me", or "she was looking at my friend but she looked never in my direction".

Do some of you also have this extreem longing to be attractive? Is it maybe that I have my good days and bad days when it comes too looking good? Am I just exaturating the fact that some women just don''t find me attractive and I just instantly think no one will ever want me? Or is it that I am just an unattractive guy, who just got really lucky in the past?

I'm posting this because yesterday I felt attractive and it went from unattractive in a few hours. Now I don't want to leave the house because I feel hidious, This is because I got no attention from women when going out. I am totally clueless of what to think. Should I just accept that I'm ugly? Or is there a self fulfilling prophecy going on? where I feel unattractive and therefore get treated as unattractive? that would explain why sometimes I actually get told that I am an attractive guy.

Please share your own similiar experience, female or male doesn't matter :mrgreen:
easyy
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