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Any Narcissistic Siblings?

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Any Narcissistic Siblings?

Postby lilfreak » Wed Sep 18, 2019 12:51 am

From my understanding from my psych and therapists, Narcissistic Personalities can kinda "create" or develop alongside Borderline symptoms/Personalities. I think my older sibling is NPD and that both our disorders were developed in sync.

Do you have a Narcissistic sibling? What are they like? What do you want the dynamic to be in the future?

These are my sibling's behaviors:
-Perfectionist. Type A. Needs approval. Gets emotional that our parents aren't proud of her. She suffers from anxiety.
-Horrible at any kind of deep complicated topic. Can be smart, fun and convincing otherwise.
-Gaslighting. She took my birthday gifts and convinced me they were hers when I was 3-4. I've also confronted her about a time she didn't speak to my parents for monnnths bc she was mad they didn't give her a good birthday gift; she still says I'm making this up and how dare I.
-You rightfully deserve punishment if you say the wrong thing or annoy her, which is easy to do. Happens multiple times in conversations; texts and calls are hell. Can be passive like silence + threatening looks, one-word cruelties, or judging the $#%^ out of you to throw you away. Looks and acts like an uppity asshole in public. It's gotten physical too, she's slapped me across my face at a party for "sassing" her
-Rejects people for any/all reasons, for sport. Generally doesn't understand people are human, and that everyone makes mistakes - including her. Never sympathetic. Can be cruel to her friends. She loves to dole out "consequences". She also rejects any attempted reparations, because she wants to own the grudge forever.
-Has no doubt that her thoughts and perspective are right and superior.
-Has said people (me) deserve abuse if they accept it...
-Craves your intimacy, warmth and comfort, and then will flawlessly eject you. It was like a master and butler, being dismissed. I literally wanted to be her butler, I was so desperate - it goes on to this day. But it's actually a maladaptive protection for me, to make sure she was secure
-Impossible to please. After being rejected, it is clearly apparent I am completely alone and can't trust anyone. Then when I think I'm exhausted, she comes crawling back because 1) she truly is loyal and 2) she needs me to fawn over her, which I do because I want her to feel good and be secure so she can take care of both of us.
-She can't change. She is very happy with her behavior and methods, everyone else's "emotional issues" are because they are weak, incapable, shameful and they brought it upon themselves.

-When the psych first implicated that she has NPD, I got so defensive and angry and listed all of the great things about her and all of her accomplishments and that's how I know she's a good person...and then the next few days it sinked in that the NPD explains so much.
Our disorders are connected and entwined, and the degree of intensity is the degree of my parents' absence. We both experience insecurity and emptiness at our core.

Of course, she doesn't know any of this.
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Re: Any Narcissistic Siblings?

Postby TheUnknownofall » Sat Sep 21, 2019 9:52 pm

Wierd thing is,

me, my dad and my bro probably are very narcisistic, they show empathy tho.

wierd thing I see how that combanation might work.
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Re: Any Narcissistic Siblings?

Postby softscintilla » Sat Oct 26, 2019 7:22 am

This is helpful: https://themindsjournal.com/child-roles ... -families/

In dysfunctional families with one or more PD caregivers, the "Golden Child" can develop NPD, and the "Scapegoat" can develop BPD.

That's exactly how it went down in mine. Golden Child older sister was my parents' flying monkey; she is an undiagnosed Narcissist.
Dx: STPD+BPD, w/ lots of Axis I disorders
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