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Postby angel1998 » Mon Mar 11, 2019 11:05 am

Hey I'm just gonna get to the point.

I know most borderline people are naturally charismatic and can find friends or lovers fast, even tend to overshare fast... But I'm the opposite of this. I'm acting so closed off most people won't approach me. I'll be avoiding eye contact, crossing my arms, generally trying not to exist and pretending like I don't see you and just giving off some kind of vibe of not wanting to be interacted with.
When I talk to people I'm kind of paralyzed.. I try to seem normal but it's not who I am and the other person can sense that. I'm actually very funny and exciting but all this just won't come out. Because of nervousness and fear I come out as boring I think. Except for when I'm in a really good mood or tipsy.
That's probably why I like to drink and go to parties. All the guys I've been with I've met when I was drunk. That's the only time I don't feel bad for existing and open up.

I've been diagnosed with bpd. I know I have a deep rooted issue with myself but doesn't every borderline person? So why am seemingly only I unable to let myself be seen and heard and make friends?

It's so frustrating, I'm so mad because of this.. I just wish I didn't feel so nervous when anyone's around. Like everything about me is inappropriate..

How do I make it stop..
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Re: Nervousness

Postby OrbweaverLeads » Thu Mar 14, 2019 5:18 am

Yeah, I'm a quiet & socially fearful bpd too. Not all bpd's are extroverted and charismatic.

When I was young (in my 20's) I relied on alcohol to feel relaxed and confident enough to talk much in social situations. With age I also became a lot more irritable and angry and found people almost always provoked offence, insult and anger in me. I avoided social interactions as much as possible.

I'm on medication now for my anxiety. I still get a bit nervous when meeting new people but have lots of friends now and enjoy a busy social life.

I hope you can find something to help with the anxiety around people.
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