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Identity

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Identity

Postby luciusrose2510 » Fri Mar 01, 2019 6:16 am

I have always struggled with identity since I can remember. I feel no sense of self. I feel like I go person to person, I just change so much I don't know who I actually am. I feel so much gender and sexuality confusion. I know I am a girl but I will all of a sudden in one minute want to change everything about myself and become obsessed with this romanticized image of who I should be that week. I have had the worse experiences with relationships and then I will all of a sudden wake up and be convinced I am completely Gay and that's why it never works with guys. I love girls but like a day ago I was in love with a guy, then a day later disgusted with him. I just have no idea how I am supposed to figure out who I am if its like every day I wake up a new person. I would really like any advice on sexuality changing or sense of self. I will take any advice you have on anything, I basically have issues in every area. Okay thank you all.
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Re: Identity

Postby RamadanSteve » Fri Mar 22, 2019 12:09 am

I think you're putting too much importance on how sexuality and gender define you, even though society places a ton of importance on both I really don't see either as very important to who somebody is. Personally, I'm bisexual but I'm mostly into women, it really doesn't define me at all though, I'm also male but I really don;t care about conforming to any sort of gender roles. I think part of your issues with identity have to do with your insecurity when dealing with other people and wether or not they will accept how you portray yourself. I think the best way to be is to just follow your instincts and impulses when being around others. Some people may be turned off by you other people will appreciate you for being unique. Most people in the world are trying to fit into society in some way but I think people with BPD tend to question these ways that people fit in and these conformities make us feel uncomfortable, or at least that's kind of how I feel.
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Re: Identity

Postby madraykin » Sun Apr 07, 2019 9:20 am

I can really idenitfy ( no pun heh) with this thread and your situation.
I'm a mid twenties gay but somewhat bi-curious male, clinically borderline and struggling with identity issues myself.In-fact I was literally just writing a couple of pages on this topic in my journal.
I feel hollow, basic, no sense of self, no confidence when it comes to dating (never been one for the first move) and due to my conflictions over my identiy I find myself emulating the personalities of others, as petty as I feel about that. One day I'm chirpy, fast spoken, motivated, social, alive.
The next, empty. Glassy eyed, anethesized, quiet, can't/won't get out of bed. Free falling.
I have a cycle. Food habits (anorexia/bulimia) substance abuse, overspending, shoplifting, self harm (of which I am managing better than before) but it's like chasing my tail from day to day. Who will I be tomorrow if I don't know who I am today? It's a big question. One that eats away throughout the quiet of the night and manisfests in self hatred and a volatile sense of self.
I know I haven't really given you any answers. But just know, I've been there, I'm still there. And I do know how you feel. You're not alone in this confliction.
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