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Split Personalities But Not DID Per Se

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Split Personalities But Not DID Per Se

Postby xXDarkStarXx » Fri Jan 11, 2019 5:34 pm

You may notice that you tend to overidentify with your emotions and moods. So times you feel intensely, you put all of your identity into that...but times you don't, you put all of your identity into that, too.

One minute you can come across extremely caring, fragile, open, vulnerable, and loving...

But the next day...the other side of your double-headed personality shows itself and you suddenly don't care about anything or anybody.

Then, there is you...the real you..the one who is caring and uncaring...the part of you that feels "normal." You start to feel as though you FINALLY feel normal and better until your other personality kicks in again.

So, you have the name your parents, grandparents, foster parents or guardian named you..but what is the name of the OTHER you?

The you that flips a switch? The you that is either overly emotional or completely cold?

Im still trying to find a name for my other personality because I feel it is necessary at this point. Maybe I'll name her Lilith.
Dxs: BPD
Schizaffective,Bipolar Type
Bipolar Disorder, NOS
--- No Meds --
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Re: Split Personalities But Not DID Per Se

Postby Elastic Heart » Wed Jan 16, 2019 8:36 pm

Oh dude, I was just thinking about this. Thanks for making the thread, it's good to know I'm not alone; often I feel like the lack of identity in BPD isn't really talked about, or just briefly mentioned as not knowing who you are when in reality it's so much more complex than that.

I think the lack of identity in BPD is really fascinating, at least in my flavor of it. It's not quite a split personality, I think, but it's not normal either. It's this in between, yet black or white kind of crazy. Like how normal people can prefer one thing over another except I can never just leave it at that, no, it must be blown way out of proportion, my entire identity fractured and forgotten and created anew, always always followed by this confused, pissed off sensation that I can't ever just be normal-ish. Is it really too much to ask to know who I will be tomorrow? Hell, I just want to know that an hour from now, I will still be me, whatever that is. That it wasn't so that you can just flip a goddamn switch and then boom, everything you thought to be true was just another fault in the pattern.

It's not really "another side" in my case. Kind of, but not quite. The "overidentify with your emotions and moods" sentence is a good description though. I mean, we all know how turbulent and intense our emotions can be, right? It's kinda that, but also adding an overactive imagination to the mix, with a sprinkle of theatrical tendencies. Hell, sometimes I feel like there's something else controlling me, jerking me around, occasionally giving me just enough slack that I think I'm making progress and then boom, surprise, b****, you're still mine.
Do not go gentle into that good night
Rage, rage against the dying of the light
Elastic Heart
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