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Split Personalities But Not DID Per Se

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Split Personalities But Not DID Per Se

Postby xXDarkStarXx » Fri Jan 11, 2019 5:34 pm

You may notice that you tend to overidentify with your emotions and moods. So times you feel intensely, you put all of your identity into that...but times you don't, you put all of your identity into that, too.

One minute you can come across extremely caring, fragile, open, vulnerable, and loving...

But the next day...the other side of your double-headed personality shows itself and you suddenly don't care about anything or anybody.

Then, there is you...the real you..the one who is caring and uncaring...the part of you that feels "normal." You start to feel as though you FINALLY feel normal and better until your other personality kicks in again.

So, you have the name your parents, grandparents, foster parents or guardian named you..but what is the name of the OTHER you?

The you that flips a switch? The you that is either overly emotional or completely cold?

Im still trying to find a name for my other personality because I feel it is necessary at this point. Maybe I'll name her Lilith.
Dxs: BPD
Agoraphobia
Schizaffective,Bipolar Type
Bipolar Disorder, NOS
--- No Meds --
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Re: Split Personalities But Not DID Per Se

Postby Elastic Heart » Wed Jan 16, 2019 8:36 pm

Oh dude, I was just thinking about this. Thanks for making the thread, it's good to know I'm not alone; often I feel like the lack of identity in BPD isn't really talked about, or just briefly mentioned as not knowing who you are when in reality it's so much more complex than that.

I think the lack of identity in BPD is really fascinating, at least in my flavor of it. It's not quite a split personality, I think, but it's not normal either. It's this in between, yet black or white kind of crazy. Like how normal people can prefer one thing over another except I can never just leave it at that, no, it must be blown way out of proportion, my entire identity fractured and forgotten and created anew, always always followed by this confused, pissed off sensation that I can't ever just be normal-ish. Is it really too much to ask to know who I will be tomorrow? Hell, I just want to know that an hour from now, I will still be me, whatever that is. That it wasn't so that you can just flip a goddamn switch and then boom, everything you thought to be true was just another fault in the pattern.

It's not really "another side" in my case. Kind of, but not quite. The "overidentify with your emotions and moods" sentence is a good description though. I mean, we all know how turbulent and intense our emotions can be, right? It's kinda that, but also adding an overactive imagination to the mix, with a sprinkle of theatrical tendencies. Hell, sometimes I feel like there's something else controlling me, jerking me around, occasionally giving me just enough slack that I think I'm making progress and then boom, surprise, b****, you're still mine.
Do not go gentle into that good night
Rage, rage against the dying of the light
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Re: Split Personalities But Not DID Per Se

Postby alice524 » Mon Feb 25, 2019 5:29 pm

You've put it so well. I wrote this in my diary a few weeks ago.

"First there were only two- the dark and the light, the positive and the negative. So simply polarized is a child's brain. And so they two grew, learning about each other, taking turns; in their orbit a point was reached, and the two gave birth to themselves. At this point in my orbit I have finally achieved a state of oneness between Nottley and Diamond [Nottley is the uncaring, manic one and Diamond is the anxious, depressed one.] I can be the parts of each that are best without committing to their extremes of personality; I can feel who is who, and I can control them by being mindful of the thoughts that pass through... The first cycle of the Myra phase is in effect.
However, this state of mind only calls into question what lurking creature waits to face the serenity.
A state of brokenness, deeper and deeper fracturing, the State being by definition one but many. Glimpses, just like there were for Myra, may indeed be apparent.
You see, there is first a concept of duality- and once that has progressed the Dual as a whole being the third part of what IS only a duality, two points or directions on a line, if you will, must, in its own existence, create the third part- the line itself. Thus the very concept of a duality gives way to a trinity. But, divergence being the law, and duality being the enforcer, as there is a Trinity, so must an inverse trinity also be."

Do you have similar thought patterns? biopolar disorder is closely related to BPD because of the fluctuations in views of self. Personality and emotion are inconsistent. I'd love to hear from anyone who may be going through the same thing.
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Re: Split Personalities But Not DID Per Se

Postby octopustentacles » Wed Feb 27, 2019 7:28 pm

Honestly, not so much anymore. I've sort of levelled out. Into a jerk. Its much easier.
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Re: Split Personalities But Not DID Per Se

Postby star dust » Wed Mar 06, 2019 1:57 am

xXDarkStarXx wrote:You may notice that you tend to overidentify with your emotions and moods. So times you feel intensely, you put all of your identity into that...but times you don't, you put all of your identity into that, too.

One minute you can come across extremely caring, fragile, open, vulnerable, and loving...

But the next day...the other side of your double-headed personality shows itself and you suddenly don't care about anything or anybody.

Then, there is you...the real you..the one who is caring and uncaring...the part of you that feels "normal." You start to feel as though you FINALLY feel normal and better until your other personality kicks in again.

So, you have the name your parents, grandparents, foster parents or guardian named you..but what is the name of the OTHER you?

The you that flips a switch? The you that is either overly emotional or completely cold?

Im still trying to find a name for my other personality because I feel it is necessary at this point. Maybe I'll name her Lilith.


You’ve described me incredibly well... except there are a few of these personalities instead of just one other.
I was literally just thinking about the possibility that maybe I mistake my emotions for personalities. I just made a topic in the d.i,d thread. And what you said makes sense. You idenify so much with your feeling that your identity becomes that feeling.
As for the the ‘others’ I don’t know what their names are yet. I’m hesitant to think about giving any names as I don’t want to make the ‘split’ worse. But in a sense it’s might be helpful as it might be less confusing for me if I can identify them as named people as opposed to just this immense confusion I’ve been experiencing for too long.
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Re: Split Personalities But Not DID Per Se

Postby Manners73 » Tue Mar 12, 2019 7:31 pm

This is a very nice thread to look at and very poetic as well.

I'd like to join in by saying that my emotions are so tangled up that up until recently I've denied they even exist because they're too painful to come to terms with.

About 6 months ago I went through a really difficult patch at work and I nearly completely lost my marbles but instead I took myself off into an imaginary world type place and I found peace.

In this place there were a few personalities. Some were playful, some were wise, some were protective and so on and so on. During all this I came to the understanding that all of these personalities were indeed all of myself and I was in fact making my own emotions into personalities.

These personalities I named, Sadness, Sorrow, Paranoia, Fear and Anger, the Child and Reason.

I'm hoping to find, recognise and name others along the way but discovering the ones I mentioned above has helped me massively.
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Re: Split Personalities But Not DID Per Se

Postby Squaredonutwheels » Wed Mar 13, 2019 3:35 am

I enjoyed this thread as well.

the child is the one that is most precious to all the rest. It's tears and hurt is too much sometimes. It's the one that beholds all the rest and gives meaning to the rest of their existence.

All my creativity stems from this spot of "feeling" as well.

It pains me to realize the extent of damage that I the child endured and what I had to become to survive. Getting this back is a miracle..

There are many moments I must consciously refrain from dismissing or punishing the child. There are many memories of being hurt from expressing and to prevent the child was locked away. Inviting them back has been difficult. I admire the child forgiveness. It is worth it.. as the gifts of emotion and creativity are so brilliant. There are many tears, much loneliness and pain.. worth it.
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Re: Split Personalities But Not DID Per Se

Postby Manners73 » Thu Mar 21, 2019 6:12 am

Recently discovered a personality/emotion called Justice.

She's a protector.
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