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Addiction

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Addiction

Postby Pairou » Thu Dec 20, 2018 7:10 am

I think I've posted about this before.

But I'm worried my safety blanket- alcohol- is getting to be too much.

I spend a lot of money I don't have on it; I already have a spending problem, my wife does her best to control my finances but I don't always make it east... I spend a lot on unnecessary stuff.

I get irritable and anxious without it. Even just a beer makes me feel better. I HATE beer.

I want to find something to replace it with.

I'm too anxious to do my art or writing. I've already tried minor drugs and I quit smoking this year (it was almost as hard as giving up Effexor... almost didn't do it). I had to quit weed cos my doctor drug tests for my anxiety meds. I collect makeup but don't wear it. I can't paint my nails (I bite them to bleeding anyway)... I don't bother with skin care or hair care. I'm trying to cut down on eating. I'm too tired to exercise and it doesn't appeal to me anyway.

I want to write research papers but can't think of many topics. I have ideas but haven't done anything with them since college. (I've waste my degree anyway.)

Does anyone have any ideas? I've run out. I'm not trying to be difficult.... sorry if I come off that way...
Pairou
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Re: Addiction

Postby Wally58 » Thu Dec 20, 2018 7:50 am

I think that you answered your own question perfectly.
In the beginning alcohol was my best friend. The only time that I felt comfortable or 'normal' was when I had been drinking.
Then alcohol turned against me and I found out how difficult it was to stop. Maybe it was never my friend?
I was bouncing between detoxes and rehabs. My pancreas and liver were acting up and I was becoming unemployable and homeless. My life had become unmanageable.

30 years ago I asked for help and then followed the suggestions given. Treatment for depression and anxiety and medications are much more effective with an unpolluted, clear and sober mind.
I kept going to AA. I became a coffeemaker and greeter to ensure that I kept attending meetings (and showing up early). My life has improved beyond measure.
I still have some life difficulties and I still make mistakes, but at least I have good judgement nowadays and things are 'real' in comparison to what it was like before.
Best of luck to you. :D
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Re: Addiction

Postby Pairou » Thu Dec 20, 2018 7:59 am

Thank you Wally... I hope my problem doesn't get as bad as all that. I'm glad you were able to work through it all! :)

I just need something to replace it. I used to be an avid pagan and the energy work I did really made me feel better. Then my wife became Catholic (I am baptized, went to Catholic school as a kid) and I started doubting it all. I still do. I believe in God when I get hypomanic (I'm bipolar II) and in the Goddess the rest of the time. I don't know what to do to merge the two.

It's just so frustrating.

I like to journal. That helps me feel better. But it isn't something I can replace alcohol with yet.
Pairou
Consumer 6
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Posts: 380
Joined: Tue May 12, 2009 8:57 am
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