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Abject Terror of Abandonment

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Abject Terror of Abandonment

Postby LithiumLondon » Wed Dec 05, 2018 2:34 pm

Hi,

I'm sorry if this is the wrong way to go about this but I am in a total state and am desperate for someone who understands to help me.

I am in a terrible way, dissociating, unable to sleep or eat, unable to rationalise or think logically, in floods of tears at work having been unable to even go to work yesterday. All because I am TERRIFIED I have been abandoned. Absolutely terrified to the point of vomiting and constantly crying.

The reason is this. I have been seeing someone for six months. Things seem to be going well, we spend a lot of quality time together - every weekend, at least once during the week. We've been away for a weekend in the country and just spent the last weekend abroad in Italy for three days.

We returned at 2am this Monday. I texted him last night, just light-hearted stating that the day had been less fun than the previous day in Italy. He replied within half an hour to say he's really tired. And since then, nothing.

I know he's been at work all day yesterday and then a drinks function all last night. I know we just spent three wonderful days together. I know my feelings are irrational, that I have tailspun into a total panic on previous occasions when he has not texted for a day. I just don't have any coping strategies, none at all, other than drinking.

Please could someone help me? I don't know what to do and I am considering drinking until blackout to help me cope.

I'm so sorry if this is the wrong way to ask for help, or if I've upset anyone. If I call the crisis team they just tell me to go to A&E.

Thank you, I would really appreciate any replies.

LL
LithiumLondon
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Re: Abject Terror of Abandonment

Postby Pairou » Fri Dec 07, 2018 6:40 pm

I often get the same way... I visit forums and watch youtube tutorials until I calm down. It's all about distracting myself and trying not to drink much. If that doesn't help, I write about it. I pretend the ink on the page is my emotions and fear and it's slipping out of my mind and onto the page.

I'm sure I should be saying something more interesting, like ''try analyzing your feelings,' or something, but when you're terrified you can't analyze anything. You just have to exist with it.

You can PM me anytime <3
Pairou
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