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In Need

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In Need

Postby peanut1614 » Wed Nov 07, 2018 9:43 pm

Hello.. I have never posted to any forum, so I am not exactly sure how this goes.... I was diagnosed with BPD, as well as Bipolar Disorder-Mixed episodes, in 2008... I have been in a-somewhat stable- relationship since 2006, and with that let me say that we are married, and I say somewhat stable because it is very hard to live with me as I am not always the most stable person. I get upset because they do not validate me the way that I want them to, or at all really, and I find myself falling in and out of love with this person on a daily basis, sometimes 15-20 times daily I will alternately hate/idolize them. I feel like I constantly want to be intimate with this person, even during the times that I can't stand them, almost especially then. I acted out sexually when I was younger, and I still do from time to time, though not with random strangers. I have completely wrapped myself up in this person on a multitude of levels, part of that being because I don't have any self identity, self worth or self esteem. Does anyone have any feedback? I have been in therapy, but it doesn't seem to help much when it comes to this particular issue.
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Re: In Need

Postby jaus tail » Sat Nov 10, 2018 8:43 pm

i got no self-esteem. i'm at uni and i often help my classmates with homework just to get their appreciation or some validation. i'm 4 years older than most of them n i still crave for their validation. there is a counsellor at the uni. i visit him regularly but often i get tired of him. i get jealous when i see other students having fun with their friends or going on walks with their partners.

i dont even know how to have fun.
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