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Empathy

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Empathy

Postby HoneyJules » Mon Sep 10, 2018 2:25 pm

I have read many articles in which they say that BPD people can't experience empathy, like NPD and AsPD people. But I'm pretty sure my empathy is extremely high, I'm very responsive to the environment around me, and if someone that's close to me experiences sadness then I'll get at least as sad even though it may have nothing to do with me. It's like I feel and respond to other people's emotions very strongly. Isn't it empathy?
Thoughts?
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Re: Empathy

Postby Elastic Heart » Mon Sep 10, 2018 2:56 pm

Those articles are BS and the people writing them should take their wrongful opinions and shove them up a certain place.
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Re: Empathy

Postby Schiraz » Tue Sep 11, 2018 7:49 am

I have to admit, that I had very little empathy for closest ones even, untill I had a huge breakdown in my relationship (my fault) and it turned me a lot around. Now I am much more empathetic. But to "unlock" it I had to go to teraphy, almost break apart with my fiancee, see him cry out his heart. It was heartbreaking and only then I understood.
For everyone it goes different!
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Re: Empathy

Postby Autumn218 » Tue Sep 11, 2018 9:17 am

Βeing hypersensitive is not the same with having compassion .
Llike one person in the forum once said,
Imagine a terrible accident
Who has more empathy? the person who helps or the person who freaks out of the horror of the accident so much he is unable to help. Ironically
the second Claiming that the person who helps lacks it also because he doesn't get equally upset.

All the narcissists i knew claimed they were very empathetic while they hurt me.
I also made the mistake to think that the person who was more overeactive cared more.but he actually was very egotistical,
It was actually very difficult for me to realise overreaction and care is not the same thing.you can be the most egotistical of all while sensitive or noticing more things others don't. Usually if i try to understamd myself sometimes i am hypervigillant but maybe is out of fear that you notice things more and not care completely and when there is fear empathy gets proplematic because they are conflicting as feelings
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Re: Empathy

Postby themissingme » Tue Sep 11, 2018 3:26 pm

Empathy - comes from the ability to feel your own emotions and also to be able to feel others emotions
as a BPD, sometimes I am very numbed.. when I am numbed, in a bad mood, or when I am shut down from feeling a lot..
I don't have much empathy
but when I am attuned to my feelings, and when I see others in pain.. and if I care for that person, allowing that person to affect my emotions.. I have empathy to offer.
it varies..
and it really depends on 1) if I am in touch of my feelings that day, 2) do I care for that person?

often if I see someone very sad.. most of the time I would feel sad too.. (when I am not disconnect with the emotions).

at the end of the day we are all different.
I don't have hope, so God reaches out and gives me hope.
I don't feel loved, so God found me and shows me His never failling love.
I don't feel happy, so God shows me what happiness can be like..

*The Darkest Night Brings the Brightest Stars*
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Re: Empathy

Postby HoneyJules » Wed Sep 12, 2018 8:01 pm

Thank you all for answering.
I'll give you an example: my best friend (whom I love so much, she literally saved my life so many times... she's probably the most important person of my life) has recently been dumped after a long relationship and is miserable. I noticed that it's not just that I feel sad for her, but I literally feel her pain. I feel like I was the one being dumped, I don't know if it makes sense (nor do I know if this is linked to my disorder), and I hate it. I'm grieving.
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Re: Empathy

Postby themissingme » Fri Sep 14, 2018 3:46 pm

HoneyJules wrote:Thank you all for answering.
I'll give you an example: my best friend (whom I love so much, she literally saved my life so many times... she's probably the most important person of my life) has recently been dumped after a long relationship and is miserable. I noticed that it's not just that I feel sad for her, but I literally feel her pain. I feel like I was the one being dumped, I don't know if it makes sense (nor do I know if this is linked to my disorder), and I hate it. I'm grieving.


yes.. I feel sad for my close friends when they shared their sadness.. and you are feeling so intensely because it triggers your own lost.. from your past..
I don't have hope, so God reaches out and gives me hope.
I don't feel loved, so God found me and shows me His never failling love.
I don't feel happy, so God shows me what happiness can be like..

*The Darkest Night Brings the Brightest Stars*
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Re: Empathy

Postby RamadanSteve » Sat Sep 15, 2018 2:50 am

I think people with BPD are pretty diverse and some are highly empathetic and some aren't very empathetic at all. I definitely have the ability to feel empathy myself. I think in some cases I'm able to feel more empathy than others and in other cases possibly less empathy. Remember that empathy does not necessarily equal compassion.
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Re: Empathy

Postby themissingme » Sun Sep 16, 2018 1:26 pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35Wt8LhoVHA

this explains well about the differences between empathy, compassion, pity and all.
check this out! it only takes you 3 mins
I don't have hope, so God reaches out and gives me hope.
I don't feel loved, so God found me and shows me His never failling love.
I don't feel happy, so God shows me what happiness can be like..

*The Darkest Night Brings the Brightest Stars*
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