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was able to control my anger

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was able to control my anger

Postby jaus tail » Fri Aug 10, 2018 2:35 pm

hi,
so today evening i decided to go to gym for the sake of it n the trainer wouldnt allow me cause i'm wearing trousers n not track pants.
i gave an excuse saying its my first time but he asked me to change n come.

i did get angry to some extent but i quietly walked out of there. no banging the door. no giving him any angry look.

i stomped back to my room. n eventually the anger wore off.

i'm glad i didnt react aggresively at the gym.
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Re: was able to control my anger

Postby cirkusrat » Sat Aug 11, 2018 7:22 am

Hey,
respect! Really good - both for the trainer, but most importantly also good for yourself if you ask me. Because you didn't let the anger/rage drain your mental energy. You had yourself in control and managed to stay pretty calm and focused. Tbh, it would've p***ed me off too, I mean it's me deciding what to wer and not the trainer, right ?I mean of course I'd never go there wearing only a spots bra or super short shorts, or if I were a guy, super tight and short mini shorts :lol: But I don't see the problem with pants instead of trainers? Is it because you're getting too hot/sweaty or become less flexible compared to when wearing trainers? I mean it's me getting warm and sweating, not you, dear trainer :? :lol: But whatever the reason, congrats on having managed your anger and not let yourself get out of control and not letting the anger/rage drain you mentally. Did you go back in trainers to complete your workout as you had planned? You seem to have developed skills/strategies for dealing with and controlling anger/rage, that is really good, keep on.
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Re: was able to control my anger

Postby jaus tail » Sat Aug 11, 2018 7:49 am

respect! Really good - both for the trainer, but most importantly also good for yourself if you ask me. Because you didn't let the anger/rage drain your mental energy. You had yourself in control and managed to stay pretty calm and focused.


yes. i'm in more control of my impulses now. i think that's an improvement. i realize now how impulsive i was earlier.

Tbh, it would've p***ed me off too, I mean it's me deciding what to wer and not the trainer, right ?I mean of course I'd never go there wearing only a spots bra or super short shorts, or if I were a guy, super tight and short mini shorts :lol:


true. only kim kardashian can wear those clothes at gym n nobody will reprimand her :mrgreen:

But I don't see the problem with pants instead of trainers? Is it because you're getting too hot/sweaty or become less flexible compared to when wearing trainers? I mean it's me getting warm and sweating, not you, dear trainer :? :lol:


i dont know the reason. there were others around n i was getting embarrassed so i walked out of there as quickly n quietly as possible.

But whatever the reason, congrats on having managed your anger and not let yourself get out of control and not letting the anger/rage drain you mentally. Did you go back in trainers to complete your workout as you had planned?

i did think about it but then i got tired walking home n so i didnt go.
You seem to have developed skills/strategies for dealing with and controlling anger/rage, that is really good, keep on.


skills is to let the moment pass. anger rage never helped me. only let me make regretful decisions. n for pedestrians it becomes a scene.
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Re: was able to control my anger

Postby cirkusrat » Sun Aug 12, 2018 4:57 am

jaus tail wrote:yes. i'm in more control of my impulses now. i think that's an improvement. i realize now how impulsive i was earlier.

Great, it surely is an improvement. And you might be able to improve further and on other areas of your BPD too, so keep on working.

jaus tail wrote:true. only kim kardashian can wear those clothes at gym n nobody will reprimand her :mrgreen:

true :lol: and those little easy-to-influence 13-year olds would be inspired and wonder what's wrong with showing up like THAT at the gym? Well, if Kim K can, I certainly can, too! :lol:

jaus tail wrote:i dont know the reason. there were others around n i was getting embarrassed so i walked out of there as quickly n quietly as possible.


OK fair enough probably would've done that myself as well.

jaus tail wrote:i did think about it but then i got tired walking home n so i didnt go.


damn, you walked all that way to the gym and then the trainer tells you to return home and change? Well that might be enough exercise itself mightn't it :lol: (says the pedometer step counter addict) Did something like this myself yesterday actually. Had planned to go swimming in the indoor pool but hadn't checked the bus plan for Saturdays so I sat there wondering hmmm when does the bus come, until I realized it wouldn't be driving until an hour later so I walked home. Did manage to motivate myself for some plan B exercise at home though, 10 min rope skipping (damn hard) and 20 min power yoga. Afterwards 1 hour of walking :D

jaus tail wrote:skills is to let the moment pass. anger rage never helped me. only let me make regretful decisions. n for pedestrians it becomes a scene.


Yeah you're onto something there. It's to cool down, take a deep breath before doing anything, maybe using grannies odl trick counting to 10 though it sounds as cliché as can be... And once you've experienced it works for you ONCE, you're more likely to turn to that method of letting the moment pass in future similar situations. And keep yourself from entertaining pedestrians, passers-by and other curious souls :wink:
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Re: was able to control my anger

Postby cirkusrat » Sun Aug 12, 2018 5:13 am

Just realized I might need some of this self control regarding anger/rage myself today in a couple of hours from now... Planned to go to an electronics store today to turn in my phone for reparation. It's a Sony Xperia XA1 and I bought it from new in August 2017. It's been repaired for the same f****** problem 3-4 times now... It's the screen not working properly. It started a couple of days after I bought it. It starts not responding in the sides, making it impossible to write the letters furthest to the right/left on the keyboard...Then this defect kind of expands to other areas of the screen. The drop-down mennu doesn't appear when you swipe down, etc. The upper right and left corners stop responding. Important to know I've never broken the screen or anything like that. It's been repaired for this so many times now, everytime with the screen being changed, inner elements being changed, etc, but after 2-3 days, the same problem ALWAYS occurs again. As mentioned it's been freshæy repaired and I picked it up at the electronics store last week. I had expected to get the money back or receive a new phone since before sending it to this last reparation, the guy at the store had said he would request credit from the reparation company because of 3 times same failure. But guess what I get to see when I go there, my old phone opacked in plastic, apparently repaired and fixed and as good as new, I explained to the guy that I had expected a new phone/money back since that was what I had been promised last time I was there. "But it will work now", he said. Yeah, sure Captain, just as it did the other times, right? The sotre opens at 10 am and now its 7.08 am so in three hours I'll have to really take a deep breath and hold on to myself in order not to yell their good souls out of them and turn the store into hell's front yard... :lol:
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Re: was able to control my anger

Postby jaus tail » Sun Aug 12, 2018 6:07 am

maybe be prepared for the worst. like worst come worst if they refuse to give you a new phone what can you do?

like whenever i had to speak with my boss at my earlier workplace i'd rehearse the conversation in my head a few times before speaking with the boss.

how about you write an email to their customer service department. written communications are often taken more seriously.
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Re: was able to control my anger

Postby cirkusrat » Sun Aug 12, 2018 11:42 am

You know what makes me angry? When the long text I just wrote suddenly disappears out of nowhere. AHHRRRGGG! But I can't seem to go completely nuts since it was my kitten wanting to kiss me and cuddle that stepped onto my laptop keyboard...THANKS, b****, no more cuddling today! :lol: :wink: Alright, just came home. Managed to stay pretty calm, actually. Didn't want to scare the young man out of his pants after all. And of course it ain't his fault that the reparation firm sucks. But especially because I think he liked me or thought I looked good haha XD Some kinda look in his eyes, something in the way he talked and moved....HA! Made me head into the store directly afterwards (after having my highly needed cigarette, that is, of course) in order to buy myself a damn bathroom scale so I can make sure I'll lose even more weight and attract boys HA! (not. My weight has hit a number where my skinny body starts to go past the point of being pretty). Still caught up in this calorie restriction thing though I've loooong gotten underweight, my period has left forever and it starts to become real f****** unhealthy and dangerous. But hey, no risk no fun right? No, seriously. Just can't seem to break this cycle since it's been going on for such a long time now... But well, that probably belongs into another thread. Just couldn't stop my fingers from writing it since it happened after turning in the phone...
But yeah, definitely gonna write an e-mail if the phone doesn't work after thisreparation...And then we'll get to see hell's foreyard ;) :lol: Ain't nobody gonna mess with me, that's for sure.
Though, the biggest anger/rage trigger happened on the way back home in the train. That stupid female conductor told me my ticket/traveling card was invalid, she said it was broken. Sorry b**** but it worked just fine as always until you put it between your stupid and clumsy fingers. What made me the most angry was that she kept telling me, indirectly, that I had walked into this train knowing I had no valid ticket. "The ticket scanner display must have told you that your card doesn't work". "What the display told me, you're asking? Exactly the same as always when checking in with a valid and functioning card, ma'am.". Go find yourself another job, goddamn. Would make the train passengers a lot happier and more content, I tell you that.
And of course it's Sunday and the customer service has closed, all of the staff smoking weed or picnicing in the woods or climbing Mount Everest by now...
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Re: was able to control my anger

Postby jaus tail » Mon Aug 13, 2018 7:00 am

You know what makes me angry? When the long text I just wrote suddenly disappears out of nowhere. AHHRRRGGG! But I can't seem to go completely nuts since it was my kitten wanting to kiss me and cuddle that stepped onto my laptop keyboard...THANKS, b****, no more cuddling today! :lol: :wink:


lol. pets can be funny at times.

Alright, just came home. Managed to stay pretty calm, actually. Didn't want to scare the young man out of his pants after all. And of course it ain't his fault that the reparation firm sucks. But especially because I think he liked me or thought I looked good haha XD Some kinda look in his eyes, something in the way he talked and moved....HA! Made me head into the store directly afterwards (after having my highly needed cigarette, that is, of course) in order to buy myself a damn bathroom scale so I can make sure I'll lose even more weight and attract boys HA! (not. My weight has hit a number where my skinny body starts to go past the point of being pretty). Still caught up in this calorie restriction thing though I've loooong gotten underweight, my period has left forever and it starts to become real f****** unhealthy and dangerous. But hey, no risk no fun right? No, seriously. Just can't seem to break this cycle since it's been going on for such a long time now... But well, that probably belongs into another thread. Just couldn't stop my fingers from writing it since it happened after turning in the phone...
But yeah, definitely gonna write an e-mail if the phone doesn't work after thisreparation...And then we'll get to see hell's foreyard ;) :lol:


well i hope u find a solution for the phone problem.

Ain't nobody gonna mess with me, that's for sure.

earlier i was like this. not now. now i dont want to be some hercules or superstrong or super intimidating person.

Though, the biggest anger/rage trigger happened on the way back home in the train. That stupid female conductor told me my ticket/traveling card was invalid, she said it was broken. Sorry b**** but it worked just fine as always until you put it between your stupid and clumsy fingers. What made me the most angry was that she kept telling me, indirectly, that I had walked into this train knowing I had no valid ticket. "The ticket scanner display must have told you that your card doesn't work". "What the display told me, you're asking? Exactly the same as always when checking in with a valid and functioning card, ma'am.". Go find yourself another job, goddamn. Would make the train passengers a lot happier and more content, I tell you that.


lol. it can be enraging when machines dont work well.

And of course it's Sunday and the customer service has closed, all of the staff smoking weed or picnicing in the woods or climbing Mount Everest by now...


:mrgreen: nah they're sitting at home watching reality tv.
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Re: was able to control my anger

Postby cirkusrat » Tue Aug 14, 2018 3:12 pm

jaus tail wrote:lol. pets can be funny at times.

haha yeah they certainly can, but the worst (or best?) thing is they're so goddamn cute you can't even get realy mad at them, even if they just deleted the text you worked days and nights to finish :lol:

jaus tail wrote:well i hope u find a solution for the phone problem.

Thanks man I cetrainly hope so, too. It just ain't fair, I bought it from new a year ago and the process of turnnig in to reparation and picking it back up only to turn it in a week or so later has been going on since October '17... And I never smashed it or broke the screen or put it in water or anything. Fun fact: (or not): the scale I bought after turning in the phone Sunday doesn't work, either...Brand new from the production, batteries included and inserted... Can't turn it on. And I F****** need to know what I weigh before I'm weighed and measured at the psychiatric hospital again on Friday... Plus need to make sure I keep on losing weight though it will kill me if I continue lol but well can't break out of this right now... But anyway, funny how 2 things bought completely new from the same store don't work ey? Gonna rate them on trustpilot surely... I know this sounds like rage but it just can't be true, that's not fair, I don't have the money nor time nor energy for going there every week because their things don't work.

jaus tail wrote:earlier i was like this. not now. now i dont want to be some hercules or superstrong or super intimidating person.

haha ok yeah I see how it sounds a bit intimidating/super hero/heroine like now... But you know, it's just, I can't seem to find this fair at all... The process as I wrote earlier of going there and turning the phone in and picking it up a week or two later has been going on since October 17, bought the phone August 17... Back when the problem started and I had to go in and out of the store, traveling by train each time since it's a bit far away from where I live, I was working full time 40+ hours a week EVERY weekday and having more than 2 hours of transport every day. And it's just not good enough, 1 YEAR I mean they should have realized now it ain't gonna work, no matter how much they try to repair it, the phone was broken from the start... For the reparation costs I'm sure they could have given me at least 2 new phones... Definitely gonna write an e-mail if it (which is 99% sure) doesn't work after this reparation, usually it works for 2-3 days and then the screen starts messing up not responding... One thing's for sure I'm not gonna let them repair it again if this happens. Thank God I don't have to pay for the reparations...

Damn this is about to turn into something looking like a desperate post in some kind of computer/mobile phone forum haha so sorry :D But well, it's still about RAGE isn't it? ;) :D

jaus tail wrote:lol. it can be enraging when machines dont work well.

Yeah definitely... But just as annoying or even more when the staff makes you look suspicious and like you're lying when you're sitting in a train full of other passengers listning and watching... But hey, guess you can smoehow relate to that, ey (#fitness studio #trainers) I manahged to stay pretty calm though like you haha :D Not that my voice was kind or anything, just pretty monotone and straightforward and a bit...well, irritated lol. Actually found out it's some physical error/defect on the card itself...Just weird how it worked until the conductor put it in her hands...She must be pure evil :evil: So of course had to pay the fees for a new card yay.

jaus tail wrote::mrgreen: nah they're sitting at home watching reality tv.

haha yeah, realit tv on how to act as evil as possible towards train passengers and let their evilness wander out of their body and into the well-functioning train tickets of an innocent girl on her way home :twisted: :(
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Re: was able to control my anger

Postby jaus tail » Tue Aug 14, 2018 4:20 pm

like ur ticket checker, i've seen mean employees at bank. there are 2 employees at bank who never do any work. they always shoo the customers away. give random excuses n shout or pass snide remarks or make faces when a customer comes to them for work.

they act like they run the world but in reality they just sit on the chairs n yawn n gossip n eat fruits. its true. one woman at bank eats fruits while pretending to work. she'll just press some keys on the computer and then she'll eat an orange. n after five minutes she'll eat another orange. then once the oranges are over she removes some other box from her bag n starts eating more food.

its like she's come to the bank for some picnic instead of working!!

how about u buy a new mobile. a less expensive one. mobiles are very useful. u dont want to miss a call or a message because the device isnt working.

once i cried for one penny with the taxi driver. n now i realize how silly that was. the anxiety n wasting mental energy over one penny cost me 5000$ as i didnt have mental energy so i had breakdown n anxiety attacks n wasted a year n half in college admission n lost earlier admission n flight tickets.

so i was 1 penny wise, n 5000$ foolish.
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