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Insecurity about self

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Insecurity about self

Postby themissingme » Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:48 pm

I don't know why but I am feeling this strong feeling of insecurity..
- strong emptiness - because I am still single and I really hope that I can share my life, share my experience and walk the life with someone
- strong insecurity from work - as I am more stressed out from work, I am getting more and more insecured and more sensitive when people might try to replace me
I know this is not sensible and I should focus on what I should do more to improve myself, my skills, get more business and more clients instead. but I guess it's because I am feeling so empty, I am also very insecured.. the more insecured I am, the more sensitive I am if someone would steal what I have.
- worried that people don't like me - when I am stressed out, I am super sensitive if people would like me or not. I really hope that people can like me and accept me from work, when they don't accept me or like me as their friends, I am upset (especially my teammates).
But I am only placing unrealistic expectations on them because I am desperate for acceptance and love.
I tried to confront and challenge my twisted thinking that why am I expecting my colleagues to like me as their friends, but I really want someone to accept me for who I am.
- insecure about myself, what if no one would like me/ love me for who I am? I am getting more and more afraid as I age.. (I am 33, turning 34 in couple months). I used to be more popular when I was younger.. but I am feeling that I am no longer "that" popular as I age.... which is quite sad... especially when I am still single.

let me practise some self compassionate talk here -
- it's okay to be afraid.. it's okay to be scare that no one will love you, but the truth is, we never loved someone just because they are young.
- it's okay to be afraid that people would replace you at work, but if you think it through clearly, can you replace your manager? nope, if you think you can't, what makes you think that your junior colleague can replace you? replace you for what you know? replace you for the experience that you have gathered and built up? especially when he doesn't even speak the language..
- the truth is, no one will be liked by everyone, if you can just be you, the one who likes and accepts you would be real. if you tried to be someone else just to be liked, even though people might like you, that would not be real and it will not fulfill your feeling of being accepted.
it's better to be you, the real you so that you can be liked for real when it happens.
- We all have different shapes, we just have to find someone who are like us.
just like in love relationships. you don't have to be perfect in order to be loved, just be you, the right one will come by and love you just the way you are. Love takes time.. and it takes some fate too.

****************************************
*sigh* maybe I should accept myself more. and be more kind to myself :-)
I don't have hope, so God reaches out and gives me hope.
I don't feel loved, so God found me and shows me His never failling love.
I don't feel happy, so God shows me what happiness can be like..

*The Darkest Night Brings the Brightest Stars*
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Re: Insecurity about self

Postby jaus tail » Tue Jun 12, 2018 6:29 pm

m a hypocrite as i dont follow any of my advice. but if i had to give some advice, then here it is...

I don't know why but I am feeling this strong feeling of insecurity..
- strong emptiness - because I am still single and I really hope that I can share my life, share my experience and walk the life with someone

maybe join some dating website or befriend some neighbor/colleague. you could meet someone at the gym/swimming pool/park. not necessarily a date. but just a friend.
i made 2 good friends at the library where i'd go to study.

- strong insecurity from work - as I am more stressed out from work, I am getting more and more insecured and more sensitive when people might try to replace me
I know this is not sensible and I should focus on what I should do more to improve myself, my skills, get more business and more clients instead. but I guess it's because I am feeling so empty, I am also very insecured.. the more insecured I am, the more sensitive I am if someone would steal what I have.


it could be that you could be replaced. it depends on the boss and his boss. n even you may shift to a better job if a better job offer with more salary comes your way.

- worried that people don't like me - when I am stressed out, I am super sensitive if people would like me or not. I really hope that people can like me and accept me from work, when they don't accept me or like me as their friends, I am upset (especially my teammates).
But I am only placing unrealistic expectations on them because I am desperate for acceptance and love.
I tried to confront and challenge my twisted thinking that why am I expecting my colleagues to like me as their friends, but I really want someone to accept me for who I am.


yeah even i want everyone to be nice n polite to me. i'd apologize a lot earlier. n feel a lot guilty. i try to limit my conversation to few people so i dont goof up. its not my job to make everyone happy. at times saying a 'no' is better for both me and for the other person as well.

- insecure about myself, what if no one would like me/ love me for who I am? I am getting more and more afraid as I age.. (I am 33, turning 34 in couple months). I used to be more popular when I was younger.. but I am feeling that I am no longer "that" popular as I age.... which is quite sad... especially when I am still single.


yes even i was popular in college n had the best days. often i wish i could go back in time n change the course of events. or relive those days.
as we grow we realize there are no answers/solutions.. only stories.
i wouldnt want to be popular or have many friends. just one good friend.

let me practise some self compassionate talk here -
- it's okay to be afraid.. it's okay to be scare that no one will love you, but the truth is, we never loved someone just because they are young.
- it's okay to be afraid that people would replace you at work, but if you think it through clearly, can you replace your manager? nope, if you think you can't, what makes you think that your junior colleague can replace you? replace you for what you know? replace you for the experience that you have gathered and built up? especially when he doesn't even speak the language..
- the truth is, no one will be liked by everyone, if you can just be you, the one who likes and accepts you would be real. if you tried to be someone else just to be liked, even though people might like you, that would not be real and it will not fulfill your feeling of being accepted.
it's better to be you, the real you so that you can be liked for real when it happens.
- We all have different shapes, we just have to find someone who are like us.
just like in love relationships. you don't have to be perfect in order to be loved, just be you, the right one will come by and love you just the way you are. Love takes time.. and it takes some fate too.

****************************************
*sigh* maybe I should accept myself more. and be more kind to myself :-)


good self compassion talk. now climb to the top of the roof n yell this to the world :P
its ok to feel bad for some time about our life situation. i dont think anyone is happy all the time. acknowledge the emotion n release it.

n ur not loney. u have that cat of urs. who knows. maybe when u go to work, ur cat removes its laptop n signs in a psychforum for cats n the cat mentions her own struggle with 'i want a bird as my room partner' but my human friend is allergic to birds n wont get them in the house. :D
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Re: Insecurity about self

Postby themissingme » Wed Jun 13, 2018 3:15 pm

[/quote]
maybe join some dating website or befriend some neighbor/colleague. you could meet someone at the gym/swimming pool/park. not necessarily a date. but just a friend.
i made 2 good friends at the library where i'd go to study.I am hitting the gym at least twice a week now.. so maybe, I will be able to meet someone there, but at least I can get to work out and like myself more as I become better in shape :-)

it could be that you could be replaced. it depends on the boss and his boss. n even you may shift to a better job if a better job offer with more salary comes your way. you are right.. maybe that can be the reason I move on to an even better job :-D

yes even i was popular in college n had the best days. often i wish i could go back in time n change the course of events. or relive those days.
as we grow we realize there are no answers/solutions.. only stories.
i wouldnt want to be popular or have many friends. just one good friend. :-D yes I guess I must be too greedy :-P

let me practise some self compassionate talk here -
- it's okay to be afraid.. it's okay to be scare that no one will love you, but the truth is, we never loved someone just because they are young.
- it's okay to be afraid that people would replace you at work, but if you think it through clearly, can you replace your manager? nope, if you think you can't, what makes you think that your junior colleague can replace you? replace you for what you know? replace you for the experience that you have gathered and built up? especially when he doesn't even speak the language..
- the truth is, no one will be liked by everyone, if you can just be you, the one who likes and accepts you would be real. if you tried to be someone else just to be liked, even though people might like you, that would not be real and it will not fulfill your feeling of being accepted.
it's better to be you, the real you so that you can be liked for real when it happens.
- We all have different shapes, we just have to find someone who are like us.
just like in love relationships. you don't have to be perfect in order to be loved, just be you, the right one will come by and love you just the way you are. Love takes time.. and it takes some fate too.

****************************************
*sigh* maybe I should accept myself more. and be more kind to myself :-)


good self compassion talk. now climb to the top of the roof n yell this to the world :P
its ok to feel bad for some time about our life situation. i dont think anyone is happy all the time. acknowledge the emotion n release it.this is absolutely true.. I am already feeling a little better as I wrote this out.. felt even better after hitting the gym during lunch and acknowleging to myself what I was upset about certainly helps!!! :-D I am now a happy girllllll

n ur not loney. u have that cat of urs. who knows. maybe when u go to work, ur cat removes its laptop n signs in a psychforum for cats n the cat mentions her own struggle with 'i want a bird as my room partner' but my human friend is allergic to birds n wont get them in the house. :D[/quote] Thanks for your support and this has brought a smile to my face! You are not a hypocite and you have a very kind heart :-)
I don't have hope, so God reaches out and gives me hope.
I don't feel loved, so God found me and shows me His never failling love.
I don't feel happy, so God shows me what happiness can be like..

*The Darkest Night Brings the Brightest Stars*
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Re: Insecurity about self

Postby Rena83 » Sat Jun 16, 2018 9:55 am

I'm not insecure. I'm actually quite secure. It's that I have a void I cannot fill and anger. And I hate myself. But not that I feel insecure. I hate what is happening inside me. I side my brain.
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Re: Insecurity about self

Postby sakura1 » Sat Jun 16, 2018 12:23 pm

^i am so insecure that i can't be impulsive so i can't be a borderline either.
i doubt i seem that insecure to others as much as i feel inside though.at least i have that lol
(i also feel that the self compassion are delusions, it feels like rose colored glasses,not the truth of reality and word)
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