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"Inner voices"/"alters"

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"Inner voices"/"alters"

Postby thejan » Thu May 17, 2018 1:13 pm

Hey. I was wondering if you have "inner voices" or "alters". I am not sure if what i have are "alters"/"inner voices". I have however identified a few "personalities" in myself. I know these are parts of myself. They have a very distinct voice and make themselves known through images. They used to not be able to "work together" and often some used to indulge in troublesome or self-punishing behaviours. Due to therapy, they are now better able to work together and are a lot more helpful.

So i was wondering if you have similar experiences...
Dx: BPD.

It does not define a person what they feel or experience. It defines a person how they react to it.
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Re: "Inner voices"/"alters"

Postby jaus tail » Thu May 17, 2018 4:33 pm

i think they are schemas. as in i'm aware of them and it's not like multiple personality disorder.
from what i know, a bpd has the following schemas
1) dissociation wherein i'll freeze n become a zombie. this would happen in social situations.
2) the 5 year old child who'd want attention n wanted people to put hand on my head n i'd be like some kitten n want the attention a child demands
3) the angry child where i'd cry injustice n start shouting
4) the strict parent where i'd feel guilty and punish myself for my mistakes. i'd crucify myself.
5) the healthy parent wherein i'd look after myself. like eat food even when i'm not in the mood.

i think the 1, 2, and 3 modes were very often n visible with me. like i'd know i'm dissociating or acting like a child.
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Re: "Inner voices"/"alters"

Postby thejan » Fri May 18, 2018 7:12 am

I know i don't have DID/MPD. Still they feel a lot more than schemas. There are also more than 5.

I don't know.
Dx: BPD.

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Re: "Inner voices"/"alters"

Postby jaus tail » Fri May 18, 2018 3:35 pm

Could you describe your schemas n what triggers them? With me, my dissociated schema would come whenever I was in social situation.
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Re: "Inner voices"/"alters"

Postby Baldanders » Fri Jun 01, 2018 6:48 pm

I made a similar thread recently. lol
I have "inner voice"/alters. For me, it is like DID/DD-NOS and people with DID have told me that they think I have DID. We're never going to get officially diagnosed though because the mental health system in my country is whack, so *shrug*.
I do know we are definitely not schemas.
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Re: "Inner voices"/"alters"

Postby Una+ » Thu Jun 07, 2018 4:34 pm

This inner experience you describe is not normally part of BPD. It sounds to me like OSDD, which is basically DID without the amnesia.

This is not a diagnosis, only a comment about symptoms. If you want a differential diagnosis the first step is to do the Dissociative Experiences Scale. The DID Forum here has a long thread about the DES.
Dx DID older woman married w kids. 0 Una, host + 3, 1, 5. 1 animal. 2 older man. 3 teen girl. 4 girl behind amnesia wall. 5 girl in love. Our thread.

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Re: "Inner voices"/"alters"

Postby Rena83 » Sat Jun 16, 2018 8:42 am

Well to function I need to not show BPD traits all the time. So I have the fake nice persona. And then when I get home I'm dying.

I have the little girl persona who needa to just be hugged

I have some sexual nympho but I don't even look like it. It's like some strange force field but when I turn it on, whatever I do, men can't handle it. I use it to get my way a lot. Even if I never sleep with them.

Then under all that is me. Angry, empty, depressed, miserable and I want to die.

I can just change my personality to get what I want. Which is what I am always doing. I'm always wanting so I assess the situation and decide who I'm going to be. But do not mess with me, or I'll be angry and vengeful and I am pretty original in my responses.

I never disassociate. They are all cleverly crafted to control the person and get my way. I have disassociated during a panic attack. But I am always aware of what I am doing. But sometimes I can't stop what I am doing. Other times I can. Depends on the situation.
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Re: "Inner voices"/"alters"

Postby raptureblues » Sun Jun 17, 2018 2:45 pm

As someone with BPD who is also in the process of getting a formal DID diagnosis, I'd say the main difference for me between what people call "schemas" or personalities and actual alters is 1) the level of awareness and control, and 2) the consistency and depth to the potential alters.

I have severe issues with identity and often don't know who I am, and in certain situations I "feel" like I'm acting like a "different person" because I have no concept of myself and get confused. However my alters present in a way that goes way beyond that - they go by different names, different genders, different ages, they don't all share memories with me, they see themselves as looking completely different to how I look. I dissociate constantly and my alters being present always correlates with losing time if they switch out with me. So for me, there is a difference in how it feels.

DID/OSDD is very individual to each person though. Not everyone has amnesia, not everyone has distinct alters. The main thing is how it feels to you. Do these potential alters feel like completely different people to you? Do they have autonomy outside of your actions? Do they think and feel differently to you? Do they go by different names or genders? Do they have different memories to you? Do they feel like "you" but at different ages? Do they feel like "you" but in extreme emotional states? Do you feel more like you are playing a role or entering a certain state of mind?

I'm no psychiatrist, so I can't offer a diagnosis or any professional advice, all I can give is my experience based on having co-morbid BPD + DID. I'd say be careful about making any quick decisions - there is a lot of crossover between certain symptoms and DID / OSDD + BPD + C-PTSD, so if you can talk it through with a professional, I'd advise it.

Hope this helps!
Dx: BPD / OCD / MDD / seeking formal DID/OSDD diagnosis

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Re: "Inner voices"/"alters"

Postby Una+ » Thu Jun 21, 2018 5:51 pm

There is symptom overlap between BPD and DID for many of us with either diagnosis, but not for everyone.

For example, my DID does not look at all like BPD. One defining feature of BPD, like all the so-called personality disorders, is unstable object relations. In DID object relations can vary from just as unstable as in BPD, to reasonably healthy, to pathologically fixed. My object relations are very stable, and that stability is part of my disorder.
Dx DID older woman married w kids. 0 Una, host + 3, 1, 5. 1 animal. 2 older man. 3 teen girl. 4 girl behind amnesia wall. 5 girl in love. Our thread.

Is your dx DID (or MPD/DDNOS/OSDD)? Join the 2017 survey: Time to diagnosis?
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Re: "Inner voices"/"alters"

Postby FluffyPrince » Fri Jun 22, 2018 1:39 am

I used to jokingly call him my alter before, but I think he is the closest thing to it, it's as if my mind was shared with someone sometimes, and at the same time as well. He can be a voice, and when him and I agree on things its usually very bad because he is mostly anger and self defense/survival, it gives him a lot of power and sometimes I can actually "overfeed" it making him take over, I've had several instances where I have witnesses of me doing particularly bad things which I have no memory of, but they're people who would never lie to me about these kind of things. I am mostly conscious but barely in control, theres a few others (and one of them recent as well) but none as strong as him, I've had it described as a bad temper since I was a child so I think he's the more prevalent of them all
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