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INFP, possible borderline, communication problems.

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INFP, possible borderline, communication problems.

Postby lifecrisis » Tue May 15, 2018 11:44 pm

Recently I have found out that I'm an INFP. (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving)

Recently, I also saw a doctor who said she suspects I am borderline personality disorder.

This has got me thinking about a lot of things and has caused me to be more reflective on my actions.

This has been the biggest issue with me. I have a tendency to let go of bad feelings, and not stand up for myself if I feel like you mean well. Bad feelings add up, and sometimes I have no choice but to explode. The former makes me look weak on my stance and the latter makes me look harsh, and repulsive. If it isn't those two, I'll just avoid you altogether.

I am trying to take the lessons that I've learnt in the past and implement them into my life. My ex had come back, and the biggest lesson I had learnt from my past r/s with him was to be 100 percent authentic, and not to tell lies just for the sake of keeping things pretty.

After he came back and left again. There were two things I had realized. Being truthful and authentic matters but so does the execution of this very expression. If you are going to have a stance, you should be strong about it, stand your ground, and not move from it. Three lessons I have learnt:

1. Don't bend backwards for someone just because you feel like the other may have some good in him BUT don't try and destroy someone because you feel like they are all bad either.

Why don't you bend backwards for someone and be firm on your stance? Because they'll think you're weak, they'll take you for granted, weak, inconsistent, and one day you will blow up.

2. Impulsiveness, and inconsistent behaviour and vibes gives the wrong impressions.

3. Don't feel the need to go the opposite direction and go psychotic on someone because you may think they are evil. -This actually transfers to you treating others that may not be like this the same way.

Every little thing matters at the end of the day. Whether you feel the need to punish the wicked, or abandon yourself for the "good."

These patterns have been a life long battle and I feel like it should be a discussion. How do you stand up to who you perceive as a good person and what do you do when the same person in your eyes is tainted?

Any other advice for regulating emotions and dealing with people?


If you are diagnosed with BPD, what's your personality type out of curiousity?
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Re: INFP, possible borderline, communication problems.

Postby perejil » Wed May 16, 2018 5:56 pm

lifecrisis wrote:If you are diagnosed with BPD, what's your personality type out of curiousity?


INFP. Self diagnosed BPD.
Not that this comes up much but I don't respond to pm's anymore (unless you're a mod). Just FYI.
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Re: INFP, possible borderline, communication problems.

Postby Emberly » Thu May 17, 2018 3:53 am

INFP and Self diagnosed BPD also.

So, normally if someone upsets me a time or two I give them them the benefit of the doubt. I'll also ask them questions unrelated to what I'm upset about. Just to feel them out and get a grasp on their motives or true feelings about certain things. If more red flags come up I generally just write them off. UNLESS it's a family member or someone with close ties. Then I just keep my distance, idk this is a really complex issue, though. A lot of time I'll find myself thinking "ok, this person is this way because where they are in their lives right now, but which experience they'll gain new perspective".

For the most part I think it's best to keep your circle small.
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Re: INFP, possible borderline, communication problems.

Postby thejan » Thu May 17, 2018 7:45 am

INFJ. BPD diagnosed by therapist.

My therapist says the most important criterion of BPD is to be overwhelmed by own emotions very quickly and strongly.

I don't really give people the benefit of the doubt anymore. I used to, but usually it is not worth it.

99% of people are not worth your time. It is better to think that way than to try to please everyone.

I don't mean they are bad or you should not be polite to them, or that you can't meet them or whatever. I just mean they are not worth your time. It is the other 1% who are important.

If you try to please the 99% you are going to end up with many "friends". I put "friends" in parantheses because that is what they are. Friends with parantheses. And neither will they respect you. People may "like" you if you try to please them, but they will not respect you. I put "like" in parantheses too, because that is what it is. Like with parantheses.

The really sad part is you will push the 1% away.

Maybe 99% is an exaggeration. I don't know. But i know that in order to be liked by the 1% i have to be true to myself and not try to please the 99%.
Dx: BPD.

I am a pirate captain
I may have a damned small ship
But that ship of mine
is my own.
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Re: INFP, possible borderline, communication problems.

Postby blackandwhiterainbow » Sat May 19, 2018 9:46 am

I got INFP as a result 2 years ago but I recently did the test again out of curiosity and apparently I am now an INFJ.
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