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Share your sadness here :-/

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Re: Share your sadness here :-/

Postby themissingme » Wed Jun 13, 2018 3:17 pm

Dayofclouds wrote:I don't know if someone can relate or if I'm just truly losing it... But my physical self is going through the daily routine, but in my mind, I'm just a little girl rocking in the corner of my mind in the dark. And I feel like this gets smaller and smaller everyday.

I was drinking heavy last week and realized that I was trying to drown. And two nights ago, I woke up with absolute conviction that the right thing to do was just to end it all. No more fear.

This is my first serious relapse after completing DBT five years ago. And I don't know if I can pull myself out again...


please don't give up and please don't end it all.. reach out to your therapist and figure out what was the trigger!! if you managed to pull yourself out 5 years ago, you can do it again now too!!! :-) please don't give yourself up!
I don't have hope, so God reaches out and gives me hope.
I don't feel loved, so God found me and shows me His never failling love.
I don't feel happy, so God shows me what happiness can be like..

*The Darkest Night Brings the Brightest Stars*
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Re: Share your sadness here :-/

Postby cutiest_boy » Fri Jun 15, 2018 5:26 pm

themissingme wrote:I am sorry that you are feeling that bad about yourself.. ouch.. it must have hurt to be in such a state :-/ do you want to be better or do you want to make it better for yourself?


Yes I do and am trying lol but it takes forever to make any appreciable progress so I get frustrated
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Re: Share your sadness here :-/

Postby inthesky » Sat Jun 16, 2018 3:15 am

I'm sad, i am just really sad it aches in my chest.
Im sad that i feel too much
Im sad that i think too much
im sad that i have this stupid disorder that i have to live with for the rest of my life.
I'm sad that i have NO friends, none. No one who i can talk to about how i am feeling.
Im sad that i am sad when i have nothing wrong in my life.
im sad ill never feel understood
I just dont want to exist and i am exhausted with myself. I just need someone to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be ok.
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Re: Share your sadness here :-/

Postby samanah » Mon Jun 18, 2018 5:48 pm

I'm sad because I do not feel as if anybody will love me. I am the only single person out of my friends and I feel as if there is a great pressure on me to find somebody.
I am sad because I do not feel that anybody will put up with my BPD.
I am sad because I do not look or feel the way I want to.
I am sad because I hate my job and feel so alone there.
I am sad that I have this disorder that is taking over and ruining my life.
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Re: Share your sadness here :-/

Postby Dayofclouds » Thu Jun 21, 2018 2:58 am

themissingme wrote:
please don't give up and please don't end it all.. reach out to your therapist and figure out what was the trigger!! if you managed to pull yourself out 5 years ago, you can do it again now too!!! :-) please don't give yourself up!


Thank you themissingme... To know that you took the time to respond was nice. I haven't given it all up... But I've been so dissociated for days that I genuinely feel like a balloon. I am still functional at work but it's all autopilot. I can't sleep nor stay awake. It's the worst. I know what my triggers we're but... I think they pushed me to the point where I can't repair all the cracks in the case anymore.
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Re: Share your sadness here :-/

Postby star dust » Tue Jun 26, 2018 3:03 am

themissingme wrote:I have learnt that we ALL do mean things to other people at times..
and sometimes we hurt others intensionally for our own gains and sometimes, we just didn't know that what we had done would hurt others.. and there are times that we just did whatever we could but not meeting up to the expectations of others would also cause pain on other people too..

there are times when we just accidentally upset another person.. I think, for us.. with BPD.. we are super sensitive and it's very easy to feel that most people don't like us.. or don't treat us well.. I am too, have the habit of thinking that most people didn't treat me good enough..

but the brutal truth is that.. why do they have to treat me well? or treat me in the way that I would want them to do so? no one is obligate to treat us well.. or to love us with all of their hearts.. so I guess I just have to learn to expect less from others..

I still get hurt very easily.. get disappointed and upset very easily too. because I am so sensitive, just like you..

but I have to educate myself that no one is obligate to treat me well, and most of the time, they didn't intend to treat me poorly.. and yes there are some occasions that they are just mean because they are selfish..
I just have to be fair.. and treasure those who did treat me well.. and even so, my best friends would disappoint me at times too.. (depending on my expectations).. and that's normal. and that's perfectly human too..

even I would upset them at times...

so I guess we just have to learn to tolerate the fact that people would mistakes... just like us..


hmm.. I hope that helps a little :-) just want you to be happier I guess :-)


Aww thank you :)
I’ve only just seen this. I guess I do need to stop expecting people to be perfect. I think it’s the fact that so many people have treated me in appalling ways that when someone lets me down in the tiniest of ways I then automatically assume they are as bad as the people who did evil things to me.
I guess I need to change my perception a bit. I’m having an extremely hard time with that right now though.
We definitely all do mean things yes, whether intentionally or not.
So I guess I could try learn to give people a chance. Cause lord knows I ain’t perfect lol in fact. I can be an absolute b*tch. It’s probably karmic :lol: It’s really hard though. I don’t know how.

Thanks for wanting me to be happier that’s really sweet :)
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Re: Share your sadness here :-/

Postby goinggoinggone » Sun Aug 26, 2018 8:18 pm

@cutest_boy, I understand completely.

I am sad because I have no job, no friends, and all I do is isolate myself in my apartment.

I don't even have hobbies or interests to occupy my time, but I lie to others about all the "activities" that I am involved in.

When I do socialize it is always a distaster. I respond too readily to flirting and at first the guy is really into me, but because I am so lonely I end up trying to get too close too fast and this always makes things weird.

This is always followed by acting out sexually with others, to prove that I still have "worth."

And this is always followed by a drug binge in a desperate effort to stop that horrible pain of perceived worthlessness and the shame.

I feel completely demoralized and I do not even feel human anymore.

I feel like there is a glass wall between me and other people, and it prevents me from feeling love.

I am not suicidal, but I am tired and I just want this all to be over.

-- Sun Aug 26, 2018 3:21 pm --

@cutest_boy, I understand completely.

I am sad because I have no job, no friends, and all I do is isolate myself in my apartment.

I don't even have hobbies or interests to occupy my time, but I lie to others about all the "activities" that I am involved in.

When I do socialize it is always a distaster. I respond too readily to flirting and at first the guy is really into me, but because I am so lonely I end up trying to get too close too fast and this always makes things weird.

This is always followed by acting out sexually with others, to prove that I still have "worth."

And this is always followed by a drug binge in a desperate effort to stop that horrible pain of perceived worthlessness and the shame.

I feel completely demoralized and I do not even feel human anymore.

I feel like there is a glass wall between me and other people, and it prevents me from feeling love.

I am not suicidal, but I am tired and I just want this all to be over.
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Re: Share your sadness here :-/

Postby jaus tail » Mon Aug 27, 2018 9:03 pm

i am sad because i am at a uni where course is very difficult, i have no motivation to do anything, i have no friends and i dont get along well with anyone.
i tried to but i end up goofing up.

plus there is an age differnece of 5 years between me and other classmates. i'm older to them n that sucks more.

i feel like a loser.
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Re: Share your sadness here :-/

Postby themissingme » Tue Sep 04, 2018 2:54 pm

jaus tail wrote:i am sad because i am at a uni where course is very difficult, i have no motivation to do anything, i have no friends and i dont get along well with anyone.
i tried to but i end up goofing up.

plus there is an age differnece of 5 years between me and other classmates. i'm older to them n that sucks more.

i feel like a loser.


hang in there! join a club/ a society and to make some connections with others! It takes time to build things up!
keep trying to make connections!!!

see what you can do with the course! keep trying or seek for some academic help?

I am sorry that you are feeling terrible at where you were.. I hope you can feel better soon :-/
I don't have hope, so God reaches out and gives me hope.
I don't feel loved, so God found me and shows me His never failling love.
I don't feel happy, so God shows me what happiness can be like..

*The Darkest Night Brings the Brightest Stars*
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