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Share your sadness here :-/

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Re: Share your sadness here :-/

Postby star dust » Wed May 16, 2018 12:11 am

themissingme wrote:I am sorry that you are feeling very sad for so many reasons..
but I really want to challenge some of your thoughts.. such as, I doubt it when you feel that "everyone hurts you"? I feel that it is very much the black and white thinking that colors the lens that you are seeing from..
and why is it not okay to be a child inside forever? we all have a child within us!!!


Thanks. Well, I've been thinking this a lot lately. And yeah it seems irrational to think that everyone hurts me. But they do. But maybe I am just insanely sensitive compared to most people. Which I am. However, most people have done terrible things to me so, I guess that's why I have that belief.
I guess it's ok to be a child. I don't want to grow up. But at the same time, feel it holds me back in life. I think really, I'm just a child looking for a parent, but I guess we all are.
I always think it's my fault that people hurt me, must be something I do, or because I allow them to, but why should that give anyone an excuse.. I don't know... I give up lol

-- Wed May 16, 2018 12:16 am --

star dust wrote: I am sad because eventually this part of me will flip again, to feelings nothing towards him and I'll be stone cold again


Yup. It's happened. Couldn't give a damn about him again now. I feel nothing towards him.
Weird ay.
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Re: Share your sadness here :-/

Postby themissingme » Wed May 16, 2018 3:35 pm

I have learnt that we ALL do mean things to other people at times..
and sometimes we hurt others intensionally for our own gains and sometimes, we just didn't know that what we had done would hurt others.. and there are times that we just did whatever we could but not meeting up to the expectations of others would also cause pain on other people too..

there are times when we just accidentally upset another person.. I think, for us.. with BPD.. we are super sensitive and it's very easy to feel that most people don't like us.. or don't treat us well.. I am too, have the habit of thinking that most people didn't treat me good enough..

but the brutal truth is that.. why do they have to treat me well? or treat me in the way that I would want them to do so? no one is obligate to treat us well.. or to love us with all of their hearts.. so I guess I just have to learn to expect less from others..

I still get hurt very easily.. get disappointed and upset very easily too. because I am so sensitive, just like you..

but I have to educate myself that no one is obligate to treat me well, and most of the time, they didn't intend to treat me poorly.. and yes there are some occasions that they are just mean because they are selfish..
I just have to be fair.. and treasure those who did treat me well.. and even so, my best friends would disappoint me at times too.. (depending on my expectations).. and that's normal. and that's perfectly human too..

even I would upset them at times...

so I guess we just have to learn to tolerate the fact that people would mistakes... just like us..


hmm.. I hope that helps a little :-) just want you to be happier I guess :-)
I don't have hope, so God reaches out and gives me hope.
I don't feel loved, so God found me and shows me His never failling love.
I don't feel happy, so God shows me what happiness can be like..

*The Darkest Night Brings the Brightest Stars*
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Re: Share your sadness here :-/

Postby jaus tail » Wed May 16, 2018 4:06 pm

those who are mean are miserable themselves.
its a tortured soul that tortures others. a healthy soul can never torture others.
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Re: Share your sadness here :-/

Postby themissingme » Thu May 17, 2018 2:42 pm

jaus tail wrote:those who are mean are miserable themselves.
its a tortured soul that tortures others. a healthy soul can never torture others.


the truth is.. we are all broken in different ways
some are more broken than the others... because of our own stories..
I feel broken too.. and I am sure almost most of us feel the same way..
just hope that we can still be kind to others when we are feeling broken inside.. :-/
I don't have hope, so God reaches out and gives me hope.
I don't feel loved, so God found me and shows me His never failling love.
I don't feel happy, so God shows me what happiness can be like..

*The Darkest Night Brings the Brightest Stars*
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Re: Share your sadness here :-/

Postby julllia » Thu May 17, 2018 3:02 pm

at the same time, feel it holds me back in life. I think really, I'm just a child looking for a parent, but I guess we all are.



I feel like this too about relationships/friendships and this is unrealistic.
Or in search for this feeling that doesn't exist, of some idealistic love
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Re: Share your sadness here :-/

Postby jaus tail » Thu May 17, 2018 4:34 pm

themissingme wrote:
jaus tail wrote:those who are mean are miserable themselves.
its a tortured soul that tortures others. a healthy soul can never torture others.


the truth is.. we are all broken in different ways
some are more broken than the others... because of our own stories..
I feel broken too.. and I am sure almost most of us feel the same way..
just hope that we can still be kind to others when we are feeling broken inside.. :-/


yes and unless we make peace with ourselves we'll always be miserable.
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Re: Share your sadness here :-/

Postby jaus tail » Thu May 17, 2018 4:56 pm

N it takes a lot of time n effort to make peace with ones past n regrets n what ifs.
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Re: Share your sadness here :-/

Postby blackandwhiterainbow » Sat May 19, 2018 9:56 am

Reading this thread makes me realize that I don't feel sadness anymore... I feel despair, I feel anger, I feel emptiness, I feel frustration, but I'm not sure I can feel sadness anymore. I've been sad all my life so I guess I 'm out of sadness for now.
(But in the same time I always fail to remember my emotions so I'm sure I could find a post in which I wrote I'm sad.)
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Re: Share your sadness here :-/

Postby themissingme » Sat May 19, 2018 3:49 pm

jaus tail wrote:N it takes a lot of time n effort to make peace with ones past n regrets n what ifs.


I am not sure when can I finally make peace of myself.. I think I have forgiven myself in a lot of ways.. and stopped punishing myself for the love that I didn't get from my parents.. but I have yet forgiven my dad yet.. still hate him for not loving me..
I am not sure if we can really make peace of all the past pain, guilt and regret for real.. maybe it's normal that we will always have some of the weight carried behind our back.. and maybe that's okay too?
it's part of life isn't it.. sad but true..

-- Sat May 19, 2018 11:51 pm --

blackandwhiterainbow wrote:Reading this thread makes me realize that I don't feel sadness anymore... I feel despair, I feel anger, I feel emptiness, I feel frustration, but I'm not sure I can feel sadness anymore. I've been sad all my life so I guess I 'm out of sadness for now.
(But in the same time I always fail to remember my emotions so I'm sure I could find a post in which I wrote I'm sad.)


sadness is like your first level of emotions, going deeper or when it gets more intense, it will be despair, intense anger, rage, frustration and the endless emptiness

;-/
I think we all have that to some degree.. it's normal right? maybe writing about why you are feeling this way would help expressing it...
I don't have hope, so God reaches out and gives me hope.
I don't feel loved, so God found me and shows me His never failling love.
I don't feel happy, so God shows me what happiness can be like..

*The Darkest Night Brings the Brightest Stars*
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