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How to cope when abandonment issues are triggered?

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Re: How to cope when abandonment issues are triggered?

Postby star dust » Fri Dec 11, 2015 3:07 am

I know I've been a lazy ass replying to this, (especially after my little moan about no one replying originally... Sorry lol) but just wanted to say thank you to all of you!
I've read each reply and they really did help me.
I've now realised it was just me blowing it all completely out of proportion. I won't go into detail but basically... I was just having a huge overreaction, to nothing at all! Haha! Will definitely be noting some of this for next time though reading previous texts, writing down the situation logically etc.
Thank you :)
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Re: How to cope when abandonment issues are triggered?

Postby Echinacea » Fri Dec 11, 2015 1:53 pm

star dust wrote:How do you cope?
There is a particular person in my life right now who is triggering me a lot... on a daily basis.
You know when it hits you, that crazy, panicky, horrid, horrible feeling that makes you behave in ways that a healthy person should not.
How do you deal with that? How do you remain rational? How do you stop the crazy b*tch within from coming out?
Or should you just let it come out? How do you deal with it in a healthy way without it becoming a major overreaction?
I'm going insane right now. I don't know what to do with this relationship. It isn't even a relationship.
I just want to go mad. I have gone mad several times. The person handled it quite well.
It's as if they know... They have issues of their own. Similar to mine. Could even potentially be bpd. Our mutual twistedness is what brought us together.
Can't even believe I'm writing this. I hate him.


Good question
I have always let rip ....but
Since learning about "myself" and i can only answer this now because he ended the relationship, i was in disbelief that he could have done that to me, so...i can only answer this truthfully as a (single) girl now...

(cant say i wont flip out in next one)

Being in a situation especially when "today" you hate him will be hard "triggers" are one of the most difficult to come to terms with especially (if) you don't truly understand why they got triggered in the first place

(hope ive worded right)

Try and see what triggered you and think what could you/he have done different (DBT) dialectical behavior therapy I know , but its true. then maybe you can find different ways of expressing instead of rage, your irritations etc...

I still get irritated (sensitivity to some noises ) not a typical BPD trait/symptom i don't think not sure, but the reactions are rage/meltdown

Its just to try a few different things like DBT it doesn't work for all but many people say it has worked for them, so maybe give it a try

If he's triggering you on a daily basis ...step away from this "situation" for a few hours to think ...go swimming or something you like that will distract your thoughts...for now
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Re: How to cope when abandonment issues are triggered?

Postby Echinacea » Fri Dec 11, 2015 2:04 pm

i know your question was How to cope when abandonment issues are triggered? and you stepping out of this triggered situation is the last thing you want to do but sometimes we think clearer when we step out of it

star dust wrote:I know I've been a lazy ass replying to this, (especially after my little moan about no one replying originally... Sorry lol) but just wanted to say thank you to all of you!
I've read each reply and they really did help me.
I've now realised it was just me blowing it all completely out of proportion. I won't go into detail but basically... I was just having a huge overreaction, to nothing at all! Haha! Will definitely be noting some of this for next time though reading previous texts, writing down the situation logically etc.
Thank you :)


Great to hear/read
nice self reflection ..well done :)
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Re: How to cope when abandonment issues are triggered?

Postby star dust » Wed Mar 06, 2019 12:39 am

I was seeing so many different people around this time I don’t even remember who this is about LOL
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