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How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

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Re: How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Postby Autumn218 » Wed Oct 03, 2018 5:44 pm

I miss emotional intimacy

-- Wed Oct 03, 2018 7:49 pm --

@Echnacea
I do this too in a way. Maybe is similar feeling.i get so angry when someone is not there when i need him that i prefer to burn bridges .emotionally or practically. I could say i want to devalue him. Maybe i can't emotionaly always but i want too
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Re: How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Postby Autumn218 » Thu Oct 04, 2018 11:16 pm

i have this feeling of wanting to be taken care of and i somehow end up doing the opposite and i have to be the more adult to others that makes me tired.and i think it even starts with my parents to all relationships.
but anyway i don't trust anyone to take care of me and it makes me feel alone
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Re: How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Postby Echinacea » Tue Oct 09, 2018 6:32 am

@Autumn218
I know what you mean, i miss the emotional intimacy too but ive leant over the years that being vulnerable or showing my venerability doesn't work for me..thats when i get taking for a fool.

i cant/wont allow that to happen to me again.
it broke me and its took for years to rebuild my self esteem up (im not 100% yet)
but as long as i protect "me" then i think i'll be ok.

yes i feel lonely too Autumn218, and thats the worst part to deal with.

stay strong
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Re: How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Postby liv7496 » Tue Oct 09, 2018 1:32 pm

Really frustrated and alone, there's a building tension in my chest that I've been trying to relieve since yesterday but I'm unsure how, I feel like even if I was with someone right now I'd struggle
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Re: How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Postby themissingme » Sun Oct 14, 2018 2:07 pm

I love the question of how am I feeling..

I have been seeing a guy as a friend for couple times.. like for three weeks now? we would meet up 2-3 times a week for lunch/ drinks and we had our first weekend date yesterday.. we didn't kiss, hug or anything.. just spent time as a friend.

I realized that when things are very stimulating.. it took my attention away from my lonelines..
but when it's less exciting/ stimulating.. the feeling of loneliness inside my chest is so significant and there is nothing I can do to cover it up..
all I can say is to reassure myself that.. and acknowledge the fact that yes I am lonely.. and I want to be able to share my life with someone.. it's sad to be feeling so alone..
it's okay right? as we all feel lonely to different degrees in life.
it's sad to be single.. it's sad to feel the distance that I have with others.. I want real connections with others..
I want to feel close with someone.. I want to be cared about.. I want to feel important.. I want to be loved.. and it's sad when I didn't have that yet.
it's okay right? it's okay to be lonely.. it's okay to be sad..
being single sucks but I know that will not take away my loneliness.. because this is something I will EXPERIENCE for the rest of my life.

:-/
I don't have hope, so God reaches out and gives me hope.
I don't feel loved, so God found me and shows me His never failling love.
I don't feel happy, so God shows me what happiness can be like..

*The Darkest Night Brings the Brightest Stars*
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Re: How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Postby LeelaTuranga » Sun Oct 14, 2018 4:01 pm

i wonder i can't understand why i seem to be afraid of guys more when i find girls are egually awful and often worse
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Re: How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Postby xcagedsilhouttex » Mon Oct 15, 2018 8:48 pm

I attended my drug addicts support group meeting today and I went in a short skirt for the first time in a while which was a big breakthrough because I usually hide my legs because of the scars.

I was sitting outside smoking before the meeting started and one of the members came up to me and said hello. There is a bit of a history with this member. The first meeting I went to, he asked me out on a date and I declined. Since that day he did not bring it up again but he would constantly pester me to hug him or put his arms around me without my consent. I would always pull away and I never gave him any reason to pursue me further.

However today he demanded that I hug him and proceeded to grope my ass. I pushed him off. He then asked me if I was wearing a thong and then asked me out again. When I flatly refused him and told him off for being inappropriate, he kept on pestering me saying that it's unfair that I won't give him a chance and that he has liked me from day one. After repeatedly refusing him he then (in simple terms) called me a slut.

I completely dissociated for the rest of the meeting and when I got home, I messaged the person who chaired the meeting. He is helping me to resolve the issue but in his response said that everyone had heard what went on. I am completely mortified and embarrassed.

Logically I know that I did not warrant his advances and remarks but I feel completely at fault for dressing the way I did.

I had a bath and scrubbed myself raw and I have been sitting for a bit looking at my dealers number and have been considering going back to behaviour I haven't been involved in for over a year. I feel like if people are going to treat me like a piece of meat, I might as well be one.

I hate that most of the time I hardly feel anything and then something like this happens and I can't bring myself to be angry, I can't bring myself to be sad. The only thing I can be is chaotic and destructive and ashamed of myself.
dx: Mixed Personality Disorder (F61)
Anorexia Nervosa (F50)
Substance Abuse (F11)

But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth. It's just a matter of how you look at it, that's all
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Re: How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Postby Squaredonutwheels » Tue Oct 16, 2018 11:49 am

I am not my urges.
I am not my history.
I have choice.
That is what I have to remind myself constantly. Good luck.
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Re: How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Postby jabberwocky » Thu Oct 18, 2018 2:43 am

Hopeful, energized...
"If you're gonna fight, fight like you're the 3rd lion on the ramp to Noah's Ark...and brother, it's starting to rain."
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Re: How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Postby loneyhear » Wed Oct 24, 2018 10:21 pm

I feel... childish I guess? Like I just need a nice hot chocolate and my boyfriend to come home and play with my hair. I feel giddy but lonely. And super tired.
Dx: OSFED, depression, anxiety, borderline traits
Suspected: Trichotillomania, PTSD
Medication: Latuda (30 mg), Cipralex (40 mg), Melatonin (5 mg)
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