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How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

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Re: How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Postby star dust » Sun Jul 22, 2018 11:26 pm

I wish I could talk to someone who has successfully commit suicide to see whether they regret it or not and whether they’d want to be alive again. Which doesn’t really make sense if you believe that when you’re dead you’re dead. Dying is so lonely too. An eternity of nothingness all alone. There is no way out, life or death. Its all torture! Do you ever ask yourself what did I do to deserve this pain? Was I hitler in a past life? Do you think past lives are real. Maybe ‘hell’ is when you’re reborn as a new person and get punished and tortured for everything you did in your previous life.
Right now that is how I feel. Like I am in hell. And there is no way out. I am stuck here eternally.
I have lost faith in everything. Everyone. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but I just want it all to be over.
It’s never gonna be over.
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Re: How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Postby pamelaperejil » Mon Jul 23, 2018 1:27 am

Like I could fly.
previously: pleasnpetrichor, perejil

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)
Walt Whitman, Song of Myself
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Re: How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Postby pamelaperejil » Mon Jul 23, 2018 2:24 am

star dust wrote:It’s never gonna be over.


This will pass. You don't believe it now, but this will pass. And you're not a bad person.

-- Sun Jul 22, 2018 6:30 pm --

Gemini Syndrome - Stardust [Official Lyric Video]
https://video.search.yahoo.com/search/v ... tion=click
Last edited by pamelaperejil on Mon Jul 23, 2018 2:48 am, edited 1 time in total.
previously: pleasnpetrichor, perejil

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)
Walt Whitman, Song of Myself
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Re: How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Postby pamelaperejil » Mon Jul 23, 2018 2:40 am

Rule The World: Stardust's Theme:
https://video.search.yahoo.com/search/v ... ction=view

-- Sun Jul 22, 2018 6:44 pm --

Stardust: Chet Akin
https://video.search.yahoo.com/search/v ... ction=view

-- Sun Jul 22, 2018 6:48 pm --

Stardust- Music Sound Better With You
https://video.search.yahoo.com/search/v ... ction=view
previously: pleasnpetrichor, perejil

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)
Walt Whitman, Song of Myself
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Re: How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Postby star dust » Tue Jul 24, 2018 5:35 am

pamelaperejil wrote:
star dust wrote:It’s never gonna be over.


This will pass. You don't believe it now, but this will pass. And you're not a bad person.

-- Sun Jul 22, 2018 6:30 pm --

Gemini Syndrome - Stardust [Official Lyric Video]
https://video.search.yahoo.com/search/v ... tion=click


Aww thank you! And for posting those songs to me I just had a listen. Cool band! I’ve been listening to a lot of heavier rock/metal lately.
I’m sorry I’ve only just seen this!
You were right. It did pass. A lot more quickly than expected. It’s unbelievable how different I feel now compared to then. I wish I’d have seen this when you posted it.
Is there a way to get notifications on here if someone replies to you? I never see people’s replies.
If I’d have seen it I would have probably cried my eyes out. In a good way.

And thank you <3 I am struggling with that feeling a lot at the moment.
(Especially now I made that post I think everyone on here probably now thinks I’m also a narc bitch and despises me :( )
Hope you are also doing ok. Again I am sorry I didnt see it when you posted :( x
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Re: How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Postby cirkusrat » Tue Jul 24, 2018 11:05 am

Angry at my mentor/at-home-therapist. I have a mentor/social worker who comes to my place 1x every week for 2 hours in order to support me and help me with things at home which I can't do myself because of my mental problems. She was supposed to come visit me today 11.30am... But of course, I wake up to an SMS from her saying she has to cancel today's visit. I just can't deal with cancellations. They mess me up completely. And I hadn't even had my morning cigarette before I got this bad news :cry:
Also, she wrote that she might MAYBE be able to visit me Thursday this week, but only for 1 hour. What the h***??!! I was given 2 hours weekly. That's just not fair. Whatever the excuse. It's not for the goddamn fun that I need at least 2 hours 1x per week. It's because I f****** need that kind of support. What would they do if I felt so rejected I jumped out in front of a train? Or if I had to do grocery shopping today and wasn't able to myself and therefore wouldn't have anything to eat for the next 2 days? God damn those unknowing and ignorant people. Wasn't even offered any alternative.
Amazing how I can suddenly turn to hating a person I normally like within miliseconds because of things like these happening.
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Re: How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Postby Stacer17 » Wed Jul 25, 2018 4:00 am

star dust wrote:I wish I could talk to someone who has successfully commit suicide to see whether they regret it or not and whether they’d want to be alive again. Which doesn’t really make sense if you believe that when you’re dead you’re dead. Dying is so lonely too. An eternity of nothingness all alone. There is no way out, life or death. Its all torture! Do you ever ask yourself what did I do to deserve this pain? Was I hitler in a past life? Do you think past lives are real. Maybe ‘hell’ is when you’re reborn as a new person and get punished and tortured for everything you did in your previous life.
Right now that is how I feel. Like I am in hell. And there is no way out. I am stuck here eternally.
I have lost faith in everything. Everyone. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but I just want it all to be over.
It’s never gonna be over.


My Plea to "Power", "God", "Spirit", "Universe", "Higher-Being" - Whateves.

Please, Power, take control over my life,

For I am trying to control my life and environment –

All of which, I have no control over.

Please take this burden: The desire to control;

Away from these useless, self-centered, & undeserving hands.

I admit: I am not winning; I admit my outright defeat.

Will you now resume your existence, Power?

I apologize for trying to manipulate what is not mine;

But please, if you love me, take away my freewill. </3

((Feelings derived from AA 12-step recommendations)).


But to be entirely honest, depressed - I just finished my last beer and all the stores are closed. Yay life.
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Re: How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Postby PurpleWarrior » Thu Jul 26, 2018 9:49 pm

Lost
I dont know what i believe in, what am i doing alive, whats my place in this world, what i like, who truly am i? I want to be my self but i dont know who myself is.
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Re: How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Postby messyjess » Fri Jul 27, 2018 12:51 am

Pretty awful to be honest. I just slept with my flatmate who has a girlfriend who is also my flatmate :oops: It's not the fact that we had sex or that he has a girlfriend that bothers me the most, it's that she's going to hate me so much when she finds out and I can't handle the thought of that. I don't want her to hate me! The struggle is real :roll:
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Re: How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Postby star dust » Wed Aug 01, 2018 7:16 pm

I just think I gave myself concussion. Yay
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