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How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

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Re: How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Postby Stacer17 » Tue Jul 17, 2018 2:16 pm

star dust wrote:I’m drinking again. I was doing so well. But it’s snook up on me so quickly.
I don’t want to drink anymore. It’s weird as for a while I didn’t find it hard not to drink, I just didn’t.
It’s an odd thing. I thought I had a hold of it but now I can’t seem to stop again.
I don’t really know what to do.
I know I need to stop before it becomes a real problem again but, I can’t be bothered. It’s helping me.
I said to myself yesterday, tomorrow is a new day. I’m going to change my life. But someone left a bottle of wine on the side and I’ve drunk it in lieu of lunch. Whoops.
I don’t know who I’m fooling, all I want is to be wasted. I feel like partying and going mad actually. I’m in a sociable mood.


Amen.
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Re: How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Postby PurpleWarrior » Tue Jul 17, 2018 9:14 pm

Anxious
My period hasn't come yet its supposed to be here already, im usually on time, I'm three weeks late and i know im not pregnant, I've been smoking alot lately and i read that can delay it but i dont know, i dont know what's happening or if that means im not going to be able to have kids...

Sorry for being so specific but im in panic mode!!!
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Re: How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Postby themissingme » Wed Jul 18, 2018 3:20 pm

sad.. and hurt...
I was speaking to a guy earlier and as we were talking, he invited me over to his place and said he will cook for me.. but I hesitated since I have only met him at a bar for a day? then he moved on very quickly and said he is not interested in me anymore...
I felt hurt, rejected and upset..
I was sad that he changed his mind so fast.. and I am upset without myself that I hesitated.. he appears to be quite decent.. but he didn't really take his time to get to know me enough for me to feel comfortable to head to his place.. (he lives 2 minutes away, walking distance).. I am upset with myself that I hesitated.. maybe I missed out from a great relationship..
but with my BPD trait.. I really need to take it slow.. because I am scared..
I am mad at myself that I didn't say yes right away.. I can still hang out at his place without doing anything awkward..
that was upsetting.. feeling rejected.. as if I am not good enough for him to like me <- which I know is not true..
but still.. I am upset...
>;(
I don't have hope, so God reaches out and gives me hope.
I don't feel loved, so God found me and shows me His never failling love.
I don't feel happy, so God shows me what happiness can be like..

*The Darkest Night Brings the Brightest Stars*
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Re: How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Postby Echinacea » Fri Jul 20, 2018 9:30 am

themissingme wrote:sad.. and hurt...
I was speaking to a guy earlier and as we were talking, he invited me over to his place and said he will cook for me.. but I hesitated since I have only met him at a bar for a day? then he moved on very quickly and said he is not interested in me anymore...
I felt hurt, rejected and upset..
I was sad that he changed his mind so fast.. and I am upset without myself that I hesitated.. he appears to be quite decent.. but he didn't really take his time to get to know me enough for me to feel comfortable to head to his place.. (he lives 2 minutes away, walking distance).. I am upset with myself that I hesitated.. maybe I missed out from a great relationship..
but with my BPD trait.. I really need to take it slow.. because I am scared..
I am mad at myself that I didn't say yes right away.. I can still hang out at his place without doing anything awkward..
that was upsetting.. feeling rejected.. as if I am not good enough for him to like me <- which I know is not true..
but still.. I am upset...>;(


For myself i tend to go with my gut instincts (they never fail me)

So i believe your gut instincts kicked in for a reason,
it could turn out to be a blessing in disguise.

These days i trust "no one" instantly.
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Re: How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Postby sakura1 » Fri Jul 20, 2018 11:18 am

Irrelevant with the specific case above. but my gut insticts always tell me to not trust anyone never and leave everyone. they are never positive.
I do think people move on easy too,i am not persistent either at all but i don't like as easy as many people as they do.
That romantic ideal image i see in the movies for example doesn't exist in my reality lol
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Re: How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Postby Vonmonj » Fri Jul 20, 2018 5:40 pm

Extremely depressed, hopeless, demotivated and defeated. Not doing well at all and it's been like this for a long while. Can't seem to get anything done. I'm just stuck in acting mode when I'm in social situations and go right back to my disassociation once I'm done.

-- Fri Jul 20, 2018 12:44 pm --

themissingme wrote:I have only met him at a bar for a day? then he moved on very quickly and said he is not interested in me anymore...


If he's that willing to ignore your feelings already then it's best that you didn't get involved further.
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Re: How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Postby sakura1 » Fri Jul 20, 2018 7:11 pm

^my everyday mood.except the dissociation.
Also i agree.you can see if he cares.

I can't imagine anyone wanting to be patient with me. Especially if i want him lol.why would he be patient.and not just find someone else .
Honestly though i have never thought to actually say straight forward that i want to go slower or how i feel or that there is this possibility and see how he would react .it seems strange why did i never thought of it in the past.like it was unacceptable to say how i feel.
Although i doubt i would express how i feel now that easy.but at least i wonder about it lol
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Re: How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Postby cirkusrat » Sat Jul 21, 2018 11:37 am

Irritated. Angry. Moody. Tired. Hysterical. My face looks swollen and tired. But I slept till 10am. Probably ate too much salt again yesterday. People irritate me. The cars driving by irritate me. The heat outside irritates me. My own body irritates me. My body feels swollen and tired. My lip hurts. My hands are dry and sore and itchy. My pants don't fit properly, feels like they're getting looser each day. Everything irritates me. Almost like a physical sensation of parasites crawling on my skin. Better search for some mindfulness exercises on youtube later today. Goddamn it, should've been exercising this afternoon but I'm too tired to swim today. Let alone get into the bus with other people talking and breathing and irritating me. Need a cigarette now. And my diet soda.
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Re: How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Postby themissingme » Sat Jul 21, 2018 5:08 pm

thanks everyone for supporting my decision on not letting myself get involved without someone that I have only met for a day at a bar.
there are some guys that I would trust more and feel more safe around them and those are the ones that I take my time to get to know them..
I guess I should not be too upset that he just walked away and ignoring my feelings..

but still for some reasons, I have been quite numbed and acted robotic since then.. I guess I am sad that I am still alone, sad that I was rejected.. as if I wasn't good enough for his attentions (I know that's completely not true... cognitively, but emotionally I am still upset.. for being single)
also, I am upset with work, worry about my performance.. as a sales, I need to work harder to hit my target.. but I am not feeling my passion lately, I am feeling empty and numbed.. I know that the inner me is freaked out because I am worrying about work...
I am worrying about not having good income to support my living
I am worrying about not achieving my sales target..
without my job, I have nothing left.. that's why I am worried...
I don't have hope, so God reaches out and gives me hope.
I don't feel loved, so God found me and shows me His never failling love.
I don't feel happy, so God shows me what happiness can be like..

*The Darkest Night Brings the Brightest Stars*
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Re: How Do You Feel This Moment? *TW*

Postby star dust » Sun Jul 22, 2018 10:33 pm

I am ill :( I am very very ill! I feel like I need to go in hospital
I am not right.
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