Our partner

What wrong with me? I'm tired of myself

Self Help Books about Anxiety message board, open discussion.

What wrong with me? I'm tired of myself

Postby Freemeofme » Mon Oct 27, 2014 8:52 am

Hello, I am 19, and I am just now living on my own (well with a roommate). I've known that I've had issues for a while, but they are really coming to surface now that I've moved.
I still live in the town I was raised in and my roommate has been my best friend forever. I've always had a major, almost crippling fear of dying. I'm agnostic too so that doesn't help matters much. I'll wake up mid night just terrified and telling myself one day this will all be over and I will die. It horrifies me. I cry and have panic attacks. I tell myself I'll be someplace better but the thought of eternity scares me just as much. I freaking out right now just typing it.

Anyways it makes relationships hard to maintain. I'm terrified once I love someone that they will die someday. I can't think of the people I love dying, so if I just stay distant it might not be so bad. I've ruined them for more reasons than that though.

I'm terrified of cars and still don't have a license. I've been in 4 wrecks one that should have hurt me a lot more than it did. I clinch my seatbelt and freak out anytime another cars swerves. I don't like going on car trips or leaving at night because that's when the drunks are out. I can't be home alone, I'm sure someone is going to come kill me. Any noise I hear I'll have my phone in hand and lock myself in the bathroom until it's been a long enough amount of time that I assume the "intruder" is gone. I'm scared of drunks. When I go someplace and someone is drunk I get really uncomfortable and fidgety and if they puke I lose it, I'll cry uncontrollably and leave the room I am terrified of puke, especially my own, somehow I have puked since third grade though.

At the same time there are so many things that I should be scared of that I'm careless about. I'll eat and drink just about anything. I've dabbled in drugs (which I know I shouldn't in my mental state) I myself will get incredibly drunk, I just can't handle other people doing the same. I'm pretty open minded about sex....

I don't know if I can function like this much longer. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know what I can do to make this all go away. Please someone have advice.
Freemeofme
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Oct 27, 2014 8:47 am
Local time: Sat Nov 28, 2020 4:59 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: What wrong with me? I'm tired of myself

Postby porsche911 » Mon Oct 27, 2014 9:24 am

Hey, I'm not a Psychiatrist or a doctor, just a human being, but I'm telling you..don't worry so much, don't take life so serious..We all gonna die in the end, so don't worry about that. Live your life smiling every day, find some hobbies, get a job you like and everything will come. :lol:
porsche911
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Oct 27, 2014 9:20 am
Local time: Sun Nov 29, 2020 12:59 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


Return to Anxiety

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest