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Wondering about BDD and Me

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Wondering about BDD and Me

Postby Ferg88 » Sat Jul 23, 2005 3:56 am

I first heard about BDD when I was watching a talk show that featured a woman who was obssessed with plastic surgery. She insisted on getting numerous nose jobs, liposuction, lip enlargments etc all because she thought this look made her appear more beautiful. After hearing this woman's story I fear that I too have similar symptoms to this disorder.
I have been struggling with my body image in terms of weight for a few years now. About two years ago I began losing weight until I weighed only 87 lbs (I was 16 at the time) and was forced to go see my doctor after teachers and family members began noticing the rapid weight loss. Since then i have gained weight and do not restrict myself from food. However, although I feel that I no longer show signs of having an eating disorder I cannot stop stop touching and lookin at my body. The one area of my body that I am never satisfied with is my stomach. I always feel it is too flabby or sticks out. I cannot walk by a mirror or shop window without checking out my reflection and am disgusted at the rolls that appear when I slouch. I find myself worring and fretting over my belly region incessantly to the point where I wear thick belts and baggy shirts to hide my "bulge". I often ask myself, Do you have BDD or is this obssession a lingering reminder of an eating disorder? I feel ashamed of myself and don't want to tell my parents because I feel they will worry about sending my to get professional help.


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