Our partner

Major post haircut depression (3 months in)

Body Dysmorphic Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Major post haircut depression (3 months in)

Postby ortal » Tue Nov 24, 2020 8:57 pm

So it all started a few days before my 33rd birthday (3 months ago)

I got a bad haircut from a new hairdresser due to lack of communication i guess. It was very layered at the top and longer at the bottom and I felt like I needed to clip in my hair every time i got outsid

A week after I was just being the reckless me, went into a random salon near my house and asked to get it fixed - he said he knows how to do with my hair.

The nightmare....the only thing he did was to make the top layers shorter and more choppy.

This is when the real depression has began. I couldn't cope with my "Rachel first season" look.

Used coconut oil and castor oil everyday to accelerate growth which made one side of my hair extremely dry (protein buildup I guess)

I went to a 3rd(!) hairdresser 3 weeks after to get the bottom layer cut thinking it will look more evened out.

It did, a little, but he cut it so choppy so i hate how the ends looks and it is way too short. Plus everyday the layers are sticking out differently and the bottom layer is short but a bit longer than the mid one so sometimes it sticks outside my shoulders. It looks like a 4 year old did my hair. The top layers are still to short. I can't put my hair backwards because then it looks like I have a mullet.

So overall, 3 months into this nightmare where I cry almost every day. My hair was literally the only thing I was solidly content with about my looks. And it's gone, who knows for how long.

I reckon another 4 months before I start feeling right about myself.

Any tips, advices on how to hang in there will be appreciated. This saga got me into a complete depression, even sucicdal. I am single and well into my thirties and it intensified my anxiety of staying single for even more. Plus the corona lockdown isn't helping with my depression.
ortal
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2020 8:53 pm
Local time: Tue May 11, 2021 6:34 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Major post haircut depression (3 months in)

Postby sofia996 » Fri Nov 27, 2020 1:36 pm

Hi Ortal,
I can totally relate to what you are writing. I'm in the same situation as you right now. My haircut is so short and ugly and can't even show myself to people and I feel suicidal as I don't really have a reason to wake up in the morning right now. I ended my studies as I felt that I couldn't show myself in the webcam to my classmates (we study online because of corona). The only reason to wake up in the morning is my mindset that it can get better. I try to have this mindset every day that hair is changeable after all, it's not something constant. Our hair will change with time, it will grow and we can style it or eventually get it trimmed to make it look better again. I guess when it comes to my haircut though, the best thing to do right now is to leave it alone and ditch to scissor (I usually trim it myself whch is also the reason it's ugly right now) and just let it grow. As it looks right now, I guess I need to get it longer to make it look atleast slightly better. The only problem is that I'm impatient and hair growth rate is slow. We have to keep having this positive mindset though that the hair will look better, that it's thankfully changeable and not something that can't be changed. It's not the nose, eyes or something else that can't be fixed unless you go through plastic surgery.

You write that you feel depressed. I also feel depressed as I isolate myself at this moment. Have you tried medication? I've recently started eating my antidepressants again (Sertraline) and the medication can reduce the anxiety and obsession after a couple weeks of eating them. I've been eating them before and they had a really good impact on me, they made me feel less stressed with my haircut and I could focus on other things more than only my hair. I recommend you to give medication a try as they atleast can make the situation more bearable while you are waiting for it to grow out.

Feel free to contact me if you need someone to talk to. I can totally relate to your feelings and maybe it feels better to know that you are not alone and that there is someone else who understands you and go through exactly the same thing at the moment.

Please take care of yourself and remind yourself that it's hair and hair is changeable and so are your and my situation.
sofia996
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 25
Joined: Wed Jun 20, 2018 2:17 pm
Local time: Tue May 11, 2021 5:34 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Major post haircut depression (3 months in)

Postby ortal » Thu Dec 03, 2020 7:58 pm

Sofia how can I reach out to you?
ortal
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2020 8:53 pm
Local time: Tue May 11, 2021 6:34 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Major post haircut depression (3 months in)

Postby Snaga » Fri Dec 04, 2020 4:02 am

ortal wrote:Sofia how can I reach out to you?


For now, open forum... but check your PM inbox.
Image

Tell someone you love them today, for Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, for Life is also terrifying and confusing.

We do not delete posts.
Let it go.
Without (forum) rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.
User avatar
Snaga
Site Admin
 
Posts: 17245
Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2014 1:58 pm
Local time: Tue May 11, 2021 10:34 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Major post haircut depression (3 months in)

Postby sofia996 » Fri Dec 04, 2020 9:34 pm

ortal wrote:Sofia how can I reach out to you?


Hi Ortal,
You can write to me here in the thread. :) I also guess there is also possible to send private messages here on this site.

How are things going with your haircut? For me it's a little better than the last time I wrote here. Although I did quit my studies I now have a plan for myself for how to go through life with this haircut the coming months. It makes it possible for me to see a little brighter on the future and the coming months.
But still I have to say, as I have BDD, it's really hard for me not to give a damn about how my hair looks. My family tries to cheer me up every day and tells me it could've been much worse for me and that a person who had some kind of disability would take my bad haircut any day over disability, like sitting in a wheelchair or something. And our discussions always makes me feel better and I feel that I rather should be thankful that it's my hair, as it's growing after all, and I still got my arms, legs, my brain and everything else working on my body.

Now it's just my hair that brings me down.. Every day I'm googling on how much hair grows in a day and I'm sitting with my calendar and counting the weeks and the months to calculate how many months I have to wait until it looks okay again. I estimate I have to wait atleast two months to begin with as 2 centimeters atleast might make it look a little better.

In this situation, where I feel that I don't have much control over my hair (I can't cut it anymore and I can just sit here and hope it will grow) I can atleast feel that I have a little more control over the situation when I do my calculations of how many centimeters and months it will take before it will look alright again.

What kind of "methods" do you use to deal with your haircut? Do you have some kind of mindset to deal with the anxiety? I guess we both have reached that point when we can't cut it anymore so therefore we have to stay strong in this storm and trust our hair and time.
sofia996
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 25
Joined: Wed Jun 20, 2018 2:17 pm
Local time: Tue May 11, 2021 5:34 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


Return to Body Dysmorphic Disorder Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests