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How different life could have been.

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How different life could have been.

Postby immaterialgirl » Tue Nov 24, 2020 12:51 pm

Growing up, I was a chronic mouth breather due to nasal polyps, which has caused me to have a recessed face. I was bullied and isolated a lot during my childhood, which has caused me pretty rough social anxiety and an obsession over my appearance. People tell me I look ok/pretty and guys do give me attention, but it all feels like pitty/hitting on me out of desperation as scientifically my face has very unattractive 'mouth breather' features. Even on those rare days when I think my face looks ok, the reminder that my face was ruined because of my breathing just pops in my mind and I am gone. I would be content with looking average honestly, I don't want to be beautiful. If I looked average, I could live a normal life, not have people judge me on my face and choose to wear makeup e.g. during times when I wanted to look attractive.

But no, my childhood mouth breathing ruined my face, it all looks squished back. I am 17, and I am slowly becoming a social recluse, I cannot stand the thought of going back to college and letting people see my face. I am very academic and predicted high grades - but it all seems pointless given my face. I won't be able to begin my life until I can get plastic surgery to correct my face. Again, I don't want to look beautiful - I just want to correct how mouth breathing ruined my face. Excessive vertical growth, recessed chin, crooked nose, no cheekbones ... I barely look like a woman. I feel so much anger - I remember being in the doctors office as a young child and being offered nasal polyp removal procedures. But they were never taken up on. I could have had a normal face and never experienced all that isolation and bullying.

I try to be a kind person and I enjoy friendships and helping people. But I feel like my outward appearance does not reflect my inner appearance, so it is all truly pointless.
immaterialgirl
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