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Feeling suicidal when watching videos of myself

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Feeling suicidal when watching videos of myself

Postby sofia996 » Thu Apr 09, 2020 3:47 pm

I'm an average looking girl. Not pretty or ugly, just ######6 average looking. I watch videos of myself sometimes just to "remember" what I really look like from other people's view and I never feel completely happy with the way I look on any of the videos or pictures I have on my computer. I have always wanted to be beautiful and I watch these videos of me with the hope of maybe be able to see something beautiful in the way I look. But all I see is an average face. Two brown eyes, a straight nose and a thin mouth and this round face. I can't see that I would be beautiful or sexually attractive to a guy in any kind of way. I mean, if you want a guy to like you, you got to have atleast something to make men feel attracted to you but I have nothing. I'm not fat, I just have an average looking face and a normal looking body. When I see these videos of myself I feel so unhappy with being so average looking that I feel sucidal and feels the urge to harm myself.

Can anyone else relate to this of not feeling happy with the way you look on videos and photos? I have had this struggle for a long time and sometimes it just eats me up on the inside :(
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Re: Feeling suicidal when watching videos of myself

Postby insecureornah » Fri Apr 10, 2020 1:25 am

I completely understand where you come from. I think wanting to be the best looking isn't a bad thing. Hell I would want to too.

I hated watching videos of myself and I also hate pictures. When I look in the mirror I think I look great but looking at the video completely reminds me of the way I look so I don't face it. I think you should stop looking at videos of yourself and try to get compliments from others.

I honestly believe you aren't average looking. You have really nice features from what it sounds like. I think if you added a lit bit of flair then you would be the best looking girl. Also a little makeup wouldn't hurt. You just need to experiment a little :)
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Re: Feeling suicidal when watching videos of myself

Postby sofia996 » Fri Apr 10, 2020 6:01 pm

insecureornah wrote:I completely understand where you come from. I think wanting to be the best looking isn't a bad thing. Hell I would want to too.

I hated watching videos of myself and I also hate pictures. When I look in the mirror I think I look great but looking at the video completely reminds me of the way I look so I don't face it. I think you should stop looking at videos of yourself and try to get compliments from others.

I honestly believe you aren't average looking. You have really nice features from what it sounds like. I think if you added a lit bit of flair then you would be the best looking girl. Also a little makeup wouldn't hurt. You just need to experiment a little :)


Hey! Thanks for your answer. Excuse me for the depressing things I wrote in my post. I was feeling really bad yesterday and had to get my thoughts out of my chest. I thought I could write about it here as you guys probably can relate to my thoughts in some kind of way.

I feel exactly like you do when it comes to seeing my own reflection in the mirror versus watching videos or photos of me. I think I look pretty damn good in the mirror, but when I watch photos or videos of me (like photos from a family gathering or someone is filming me in some occasion) I just see this plain/average looking girl. No matter of how much I try to look good I just can't see myself as attractive in these videos. I can't think "yeah, I'm a good looking girl" wich makees me feel frustrated and sad as I've always wanted to be a pretty girl.

Yesterday I did something I really should've done a long time ago, I deleted all the videos with myself on the computer. These photos and videos are the only things that brings me down and I just thought "what the hell, I don't need these" so I deleted them once and for all. I feel kind of relieved now.

Maybe we can't really decide how attractive we are ourself. Yesterday my dad tried to give me comfort and said something like "Well, you aren't gonna date yourself so your own personal opinion of your own attractiveness don't really matter.." That is so damn true.
It happens that I get compliments some times, so therefore I guess my own view on my looks isn't 100 % accurate. I don't feel wasting my youth feeling sad about the way I look while everyone else is happy and are living their life. Life is too short and precious for that.

Thank you for your answer and please take care of yourself.

Maybe we just are really really bad at deciding our own level of attractiveness and I guess there is atleast something wrong in the way I view my own looks as my parents tell me "Well, now it' sounds like the BDD is talking again" when I tell them I feel really sad about my looks.
Maybe we aren't as bad looking as we think we look. Maybe our eyes are simply playing tricks on us. I think everyone else I see in my daily life is good looking in some kind of way so why should I be and exception? I think I gotta question my own thoughts a little bit more.
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Re: Feeling suicidal when watching videos of myself

Postby insecureornah » Thu May 07, 2020 9:13 am

sofia996 wrote:
insecureornah wrote:I completely understand where you come from. I think wanting to be the best looking isn't a bad thing. Hell I would want to too.

I hated watching videos of myself and I also hate pictures. When I look in the mirror I think I look great but looking at the video completely reminds me of the way I look so I don't face it. I think you should stop looking at videos of yourself and try to get compliments from others.

I honestly believe you aren't average looking. You have really nice features from what it sounds like. I think if you added a lit bit of flair then you would be the best looking girl. Also a little makeup wouldn't hurt. You just need to experiment a little :)


Hey! Thanks for your answer. Excuse me for the depressing things I wrote in my post. I was feeling really bad yesterday and had to get my thoughts out of my chest. I thought I could write about it here as you guys probably can relate to my thoughts in some kind of way.

I feel exactly like you do when it comes to seeing my own reflection in the mirror versus watching videos or photos of me. I think I look pretty damn good in the mirror, but when I watch photos or videos of me (like photos from a family gathering or someone is filming me in some occasion) I just see this plain/average looking girl. No matter of how much I try to look good I just can't see myself as attractive in these videos. I can't think "yeah, I'm a good looking girl" wich makees me feel frustrated and sad as I've always wanted to be a pretty girl.

Yesterday I did something I really should've done a long time ago, I deleted all the videos with myself on the computer. These photos and videos are the only things that brings me down and I just thought "what the hell, I don't need these" so I deleted them once and for all. I feel kind of relieved now.

Maybe we can't really decide how attractive we are ourself. Yesterday my dad tried to give me comfort and said something like "Well, you aren't gonna date yourself so your own personal opinion of your own attractiveness don't really matter.." That is so damn true.
It happens that I get compliments some times, so therefore I guess my own view on my looks isn't 100 % accurate. I don't feel wasting my youth feeling sad about the way I look while everyone else is happy and are living their life. Life is too short and precious for that.

Thank you for your answer and please take care of yourself.

Maybe we just are really really bad at deciding our own level of attractiveness and I guess there is atleast something wrong in the way I view my own looks as my parents tell me "Well, now it' sounds like the BDD is talking again" when I tell them I feel really sad about my looks.
Maybe we aren't as bad looking as we think we look. Maybe our eyes are simply playing tricks on us. I think everyone else I see in my daily life is good looking in some kind of way so why should I be and exception? I think I gotta question my own thoughts a little bit more.


I'm really happy to hear that you deleted the videos of yourself. I promise you that you aren't as bad looking as you think. I think I'm not very handsome myself and it surprises me when I get compliments from people. I've started to judge my looks based on others' opinions rather than my own. If you get compliments from guys or girls just take those over your own assumptions.

Also try to avoid those videos of yourself for now. For me, when I watch a video right after it's taken I get very depressed about the way I look. BUT, if you wait to see the video after months of filming them, they have you a different outlook. I don't know what it is but when a friend sends me a video of myself from a few years ago I don't think I look bad at all and can see why some may think I'm attractive.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Summary: Don't film yourself, don't rewatch videos after you film them, and take compliments of others over your own. Guaranteed you're probably very attractive :)
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