Our partner

Family Dynamic May Have Caused BDD

Body Dysmorphic Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Family Dynamic May Have Caused BDD

Postby love2015 » Wed Jul 24, 2019 4:45 pm

:| :| If my mom prefers my sister over me does that make it a scapegoat/golden child situation? My mom also never listens to me and says things like "I was only trying to help" instead of apologizing if something hurt me. She always agrees with my sister and never with me and she always calls me "different". Now this could be a nice thing because I dont follow what others do a d I think for myself but coming from my mom it feel like the bond is strong between her and my sister and I am left out. She isn't cruel to me but just hurts me emotionally and will hear nothing of it. I always had bad behavior and I think it's from my moms favoritism. Like from not feeling enough love I had sex with many people. I also did drugs, got into fights with strangers, and hurt some people. I'm terribly sorry and regretful for this awful behavior now. Because of a terrible depression I'm in I had to move into my sister's apartment so I see them a lot and it's the same situation as always and it's truly painful. I feel like I'll never escape this and I'll just never ever feel good enough. Its not just my family. I was never liked in school and people in general were just never really interested in me. The pain of this outcasting has made my life difficult causing depression from mild to severe and its severe now. I've been in and out of behavioral hospitals, seen doctors and therapists but not one could understand. Actually only one was good because she enlightened me that my problems stemmed from my family dynamic. I love my mom and sis but sometimes I get the feeling since I need their help right now it proves to them I'm truly not good enough to enjoy a good life.
I also feel like if they found this post they would be angry with me instead of having a mature conversation about why I feel this way
I also wasn't the pretty child but my sister was and still is beautiful and ultimately I believe this is why my mom just likes her better. So I developed body dysmorphic disorder and low self'esteem/,low self worth. Its caused me to have a one track mind that I just want to be beautiful.
I also feel like my appearance kept me from being liked by others in the outside world.
As a teen I had pictures of beautiful girls on my wall that I wanted to look like ( now i know coveting something someone else has is wrong) but anyway my sister always thought that was really weird but she didnt understand that I admired beauty so much because I wanted it so bad because of the BDD. I still do. That's not normal or healthy is it? Therapists I've seen dont seem to understand it and many have hurt me with their comments. Now if I see a therapist I ask them not to judge my appearance with their opinion.
But this favoritism I believe is the basis of my social anxiety disorder, OCD, major anxiety and major depression, bdd and low self esteem.
I also want to mention my mom would smack me in the face as a teen and young adult and hit me in the chest once but never did this once to my sister. Also my aunts
S. Uncles and cousins have come up to me to tell me how pretty my sister is and they like her better too. Not all of them Thank God for them
love2015
Consumer 4
Consumer 4
 
Posts: 84
Joined: Thu Jan 15, 2015 3:37 pm
Local time: Sat Oct 24, 2020 3:58 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Family Dynamic May Have Caused BDD

Postby love2015 » Thu Jul 25, 2019 7:36 pm

Hi it's the original poster. I reread my post and I just want to say that I take full responsibility for the bad hurtful things I've done
I just wanted to explain that the hurt I felt inside manifested in this way
Trying hard to be a better person now and I want to apologize to anyone I ever hurt
It was still my decisions and my own doing to do what I have done. I hope God will forgive through Jesus Christ, my only hope anymore
love2015
Consumer 4
Consumer 4
 
Posts: 84
Joined: Thu Jan 15, 2015 3:37 pm
Local time: Sat Oct 24, 2020 3:58 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Family Dynamic May Have Caused BDD

Postby El Nino » Wed Aug 28, 2019 2:39 pm

There are probably several factors to the development of BDD, but there are studies that support your assumption of family dynamic playing a part. According to the article below, for example, “there is preliminary evidence that sexual, emotional, and physical abuse in childhood may be associated with BDD”.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3859614/#R1

I’m interested in this link, since I experienced lots of abuse when I was a kid. (However I’m not suggesting that childhood trauma is a necessary pathway to BDD.)

- Nino -
El Nino
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 168
Joined: Tue Jul 22, 2014 10:26 pm
Local time: Sat Oct 24, 2020 10:58 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


Return to Body Dysmorphic Disorder Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests