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Deep torment...

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Deep torment...

Postby talhaboi66 » Thu May 23, 2019 3:45 pm

I feel really bad today ..... really bad ... but its not the only day , It would be a lie if i say that i havent been feeling this way for past 6 years .... Sometimes it gets too unbearable , i cant put it exactly into words .... What i think of my appearance : Something to hide , not think about , a constant reminder of my inferiority to other beings , a curse afflicted upon me , a source of deep shame , something inherently wrong with me ..... I can be normal only when i dont think about it at all , but lately , going to college , seeing literally everyone , literally and not finding a single one that looks as bad , as skinny , as cuckish and uglier than me is a deep painful realization like , A demon is clenching his claws on my brain , never being letting me free of these torment and torturous thoughts , i swear i have had physical injuries , but this kind of pain is so worse , its like my soul being ripped apart with some sharp objects ... those wont understand who havent been through this .... and whereever i look , there is something to add fuel to fire , the importance of looking good in society , beautiful people getting positive attention , not being able to change ones looks , being born in a certain genetic way ,... no joke , i feel like this is the f***king worst curse a human can have , I am eagerly hoping for something or someone to kill me instantly as im much of a p***y to take my life out of this painful existence ....
In short ; i cant describe how ugly i feel.... :|
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Re: Deep torment...

Postby HR1979 » Fri Aug 14, 2020 6:17 am

Hi

Yes I feel exactly the same. Every where you look there is noone as ugly as me. A torment is horrible. You just keep thinking over and over. I sometimes put myself in situations to prove myself that it's not the case... But it's always proven its the truth... I also wish all of it to end... And I do hope there is just blackness after and oblivion.
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