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Bdd because of hair

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Bdd because of hair

Postby sofia996 » Fri Jul 13, 2018 5:06 pm

Hi!
I'm new to this forum. I'm a 21 year old girl and I recently got to know I have bdd because of my obsession with my hair. My hair looks so damn ugly after I decided to cut my hair myself in februari, and since then I've been cutting and cutting, desperately trying to make it look alright again. I also got tape extensions (hairtalk extensions) because I got so tired of my ugly looking hair but the extensions just resulted in me cutting my hair more, just to make my hair look alright with extensions. The last time I was at the hairdresser was in june and we decided I should try having my hair just the way it is so it can recover from extensions. I said I wasn't totally satisfied with the way my hair looked with extensions so she convinced me to try having my hair just the way it looks without extensions, but thing is it look completely horrible after cutting it so much and I have to hide the disaster with a hoodie. Problem is that I still look ugly with my hoodie and this makes me ashamed of my appearence, even infront of my parents and sibilings. I want to look pretty and if I don't I don't want to leave the house. I'm scared of letting people see how ugly I look in my hoodie and I don't want to return to school after this summer because I simply don't want anyone to see me and think "wow Sofia looks very ugly now". This is the real problem. I have one year left to exam but don't want to go to school because of my looks. I know it sounds vain but it's how I feel at the moment. My ugly hair and the way I feel that I have to isolate myself makes me sucidal. Just a day ago I just yelled "I can not take this anymore" when eating with my family. I really felt that I wanted to die and lied in my bed cutting my wrists with a pen. Today my brother told me he is starting to feel irritated at me which felt horrible because I don't feel it's my fault of feeling this way and it's not my fault that I have BDD. I ended up crying in my bed again with the wish I would stop breathing. I hate my life it's horrible!!! And it's all because of my hair. Thankfully I have my family by my side supporting me through this BDD-hell. The worst thing is I can not do anything than wait for my hair to grow and It grows so slow. I have to wait at least until maybe next summer but mybe I have to wait even more I don't know... I feel so alone in this. Has someone else experienced living with a really really bad haircut?? It's the worst thing ever!
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Re: Bdd because of hair

Postby margharris » Mon Jul 16, 2018 10:09 pm

BDD is very simple to understand from an emotional sense. You are a vibrational being..right? Your body is humming all the time. You know when your body feels hate and sadness and anger. Your body is meant to be in a contented state. We return to that state at night when we sleep. But in the morning when we wake we introduce thoughts into our body. If the thought is a match to our body vibration we dont feel much different. If we have a discordant thought that our body does not agree with then it tries to reject that thought. We feel an intense emotion.
All of us just dont understand what our emotions are trying to tell us. They are trying to tell us if the thought is good or not. We have mistook this and believe the emotion is telling us about our performance or some failure on our part. We blame ourselves.
Emotion is just an indicator of our thought. It feels bad it is bad for you to think. So start to notice the feeling of your thought. When it feels bad in your stomach that is your inner guidance telling you that your thinking has gone off track. You have to try and find a more satisfying thought to think.
Maybe start with... It doesn't look as bad as I think. Notice how that thought feels. It feels better to think that. That is because it is more in harmony with what the larger part of you knows to be true.
With guidance from your emotions you could turn this around in a month or two. Feel your way to better and better thoughts. Marg
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Re: Bdd because of hair

Postby dav779 » Tue Jul 17, 2018 8:59 pm

Hair is a common concern of BDD sufferers, you can find many topics on this forum and also on the OCD forum (bdd is related to OCD so it's not surprising) like this big thread :

obsessive-compulsive/topic44645.html

so you're not alone but you can't housebound yourself forever, even if you're waiting until your hair grows back and get better you know that you will cut its again and again... BDD exaggerates a lot the perception of your supposed flaws that you see in the mirror, i'm sure before your massive cutting your hair was looking good or at least nobody never notice they were wrong maybe even now nobody sees the matter, a big part of this is in your head

calm down about your appearance, no one is perfect and you don't need to be perfect to live with the people, you probably have poor self esteem, if you're not able to reduce this obsession by yourself maybe you should see a psychologist or psychiatrist and begin CBT

PS : english is not my native language so sorry for the poor grammar and synthax.
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Re: Bdd because of hair

Postby margharris » Wed Jul 18, 2018 1:25 am

I know I am not doing a great job of explaining myself yet. So I will try again. You're struggling so much with your hair. I know you can end up cutting it right off just to try and stop the thought struggle you might be going through. But that is the secret to this disorder. It is really your thoughts. Somehow you have to turn away from the hyperfocus. You cannot correct any thought distortions by more focus on it.
You are the only one who can stop struggling and give yourself relief by focusing on anything that feels better. Give up the fight and just tell yourself it is OK just as it is. There is instant relief in that.
This topic of hair just doesn't feel good for you and it doesn't matter what you do, so don't explore it.
Find something else that will bring you to a better feeling place.
Marg
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