The weirdest thing this week is that I've thought about gambling. I mean thought about going out to gamble. And I don't know why.
It's been over 2 years and 7 months since my last bet and don't worry, I plan to keep it going, but for some reason that I can't figure out, I've had serious thoughts about gambling again.
I've gone over the last month and nothing out of the ordinary has occurred. Work is a little stressful, but not too terrible. So I'm at a loss.
Maybe I'm at some milestone in quitting that I'm unaware of. At this point it really doesn't matter. What DOES matter is that I've said 'Today I will not gamble. Never again.' and MEANT it.
I don't mean to depress anyone shooting for their own long term journey. It doesn't necessarily mean you'll get hit with urges too at such a great length of time. But if it helps, I can tell you that the battle doesn't even compare to when I was at 2 weeks. The urges are a LOT less intense as well.
I'm not stressing over the urges themselves but over the unknown cause(s).
Oh well, maybe I'll discover it, maybe not, but at least I can say I'm STILL gambling-free and life is still great.
It's been awhile since I posted so I thought if ever there was a week to log back in and blog, it's this one.
And you know what? I'm glad I'm only writing about urges and not slips. I'm still winning this battle and that's all I ever wanted so I won't complain any more. In fact I'm going to wallow in the unbelievable fact that I am more than half way through my THIRD year of being free from gambling!!! WOO HOO!I hope everyone's fighting the good fight too and finding their own successes. After all, we all have the same goal... to just get through today. And we're doing it!!! All the best to anyone reading this.
Today I will not gamble. Never again.