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Author:  xod_s [ Sat Nov 15, 2014 7:48 pm ]
Blog Subject:  I have problems with the phrase "inner child"
I hope you know that when I here the phrase "inner child" I don't get an image of a toddler-me happily jumping around and being forthcoming. It's of the shicklessly scared toddler, "warm"ly enveloped in the certainity of fear and one (in short) bizzare sense of self.

It's a stupid thought but if I were to embrace "my inner child" I have this nightmarish thought that I'd be convolusing on the floor like I was having an epiletic fit screaming and talking to myself--it'd be a big emotional *regression* is what I mean to say. I'm afraid of that*. I hate that part of myself b/c of all the "lost years" spent in that state and how me and society says it's a b.s. waste of time to try to "make contact" with that part of myself at this stage. Unskilled I am.

*VERY* few ppl know just wtf that this (the idea of inner child). Another cop-out trite saying which p.o's is "it's all in your head","it's all in your mind"----''=_= of course you dimwit.Care to (expletive adjective) *VERIFY* that ?! >:( .

* it's not like I have had to have been a child soldier to feel that way.
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This is an atttitude I will change.


Comments
Author:  xod_s [ Sat Nov 15, 2014 8:57 pm ]
In my life I've gone "I'm afraid,therefore I am" from when I was a toddler to some things which are much more different.

That's a good thing. However if there is one thing which sits in the back of my mind,glaring at me like it's the "eye of Sauron" that for now is a go-to topic which makes me choke and terrified,it's a certain word which rhymes with contortion. "But" I tell myself "it's something that is common to be afraid of just like natural disasters",the volitional and circumstantial factors here make it significantly different from an event made by anthropogenically-unfavorable atmospheric processes however.

Now,if aside from uber-special considerations from that one topic..`_`hmm,being far less fearful on a mundane level with mundane things doing mundane activities and actions,"should" be a less "hinderful" things ,shouldn't it?.
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I really would like to exercise soon. Happy stuff.

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Author:  xod_s [ Sun Nov 23, 2014 4:07 am ]
Getting back to the gym is [i]going to s---[/i] >_<,w/ the lack of movement I've had for months now and the weight differences.
Author:  xod_s [ Sun Nov 23, 2014 8:02 pm ]
I get tiny jolts of increased energy,I derive tiny jolts of energy merely by going to do homework in a different room or place sometimes.
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