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28 Days by thegentlepath on Wed Mar 20, 2019 4:08 pm
Until psychodiagnostic appointment. Keeping a journal is a helpful tool in recreating a timeline. A lot of things are going completely sideways right now, but it’s alright. I’ve made it this far.

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im addicted to sex and needing to be dominated by jasminN on Sun Mar 17, 2019 3:17 am
hiya all
so im a 34 yr old woman from united kingdom... I am married with children been 14yrs now..and im madly crazy addicted to having sex, watching sex being performed (rough sadistic sex, dominate submissive)… masturbation.. and oral the whooooole nine yards
I constantly think about being dominated so hard I could literally scream... I need this so bad in my life I don't know what to do :cry: I have on several occasions made advances on my husband dressed up as all sorts to gain the kind of attention I want... used whips, a paddle, masks even sex toys everything to insinuate he dominate me. but he just dose not, aargghhh....and although our sex life has always been amazing up to this point, I need change hes not getting it..i have openly spoken about it to him suggested swinger places.. and things he should do to tame me... but its like talking to a brick wall all the good it dose me :( .instead of me being in control and everything being loved up and slow, I want to be controlled...and inflicted with pleasurable pain...im not sure if im making sense to anyone but I can not help myself..but he dosent seem to want what I do and its pushing me away from him what else can I do?

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32 Days by thegentlepath on Sat Mar 16, 2019 6:26 pm
Until the PSYCHODIAGNOSTIC appointment. Researching what will happen. Gathering my information. Preparation.

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Politics; I want to be on the side of the people by OMNICELL on Fri Mar 15, 2019 6:29 pm
My country right now has fallen into factions; fractured groups representing separate political parties. My problem? I don't fit into any political agenda. I'm a White male, being attacked from all sides; especially from feminism.
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I would like to support the minority groups in the country being plagued by strong prejudice; until I found out I'm their enemy; altho, I did not choose it that way; My skin color has made it that way; and my " right-wing" affiliation. So; I'm being prejudiced.
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I would like to support the rednecks of my society; the grass root people; Until I find out im on the wrong side. Several redneck popular groups are on the side of the feminists? How can this be? are they stupid? So, that is not an option; not the left; not for me. The grass root people will always be my people; their political stance is not, but we are fighting for the same thing?. I'm like a redneck grassroots guy on the right. I'm only on the right because I refused to vote for the female sociopaths trying to take over the government on the left; thus, placing me in contrast against everything.
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I also support the NRA. And yet; the same far left feminist groups that denounce gun rights are being supported by grass root redneck groups toating guns at support rallies in a bigger city near you; and are supporting the left; supporting the feminists.
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I've seen the damage of feminism on women; the lies; not of the women's movement for equality, but from the feminist movement against women; the lies. I've seen the lies of " rape culture" Which; I'm white, and it's directed to me" ; I'm a male so it's " My fault"; I'm not a rapist, nor are any of the men that I know? I've been raped; I know numerous men that were molested when children; and several by women; by their mothers. Im certainly not walking alongside a group of people creating lies about other citizens of my country. Im not suggesting that the workplaces don't need to be cleaned up against sexual harassment and that harassment defined and policed.
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Im into MGTOW; red pill society/mens movement; we have to have a movement at this time, period; everyone does. However, Im still into women, dating, marriage possibly. We will see.
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I've watched videos of innocent minorities being shot by police officers that triggered a nationwide uprising; then I looked a little deep; I watched more specifically; I noticed something; THe cops pulled their guns; he wasn't innocent; He was a criminal and had been involved in criminal activity that same day; the cops didn't pull gun's on anyone else; only him. When they pulled their guns; they told him to stop; He would not; he turned and walked toward them; he got shot; just like anyone else would get shot; And this is what the uprising is based on? Are you kidding? "What"! I've seen other videos similar to this. And; Im a white male so; Im being convinced " ITs my fault" for thinking in such a savage way; that I would take the side of the police oppressors. I never said I liked the police; but, videos don't lie.
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I feel for the communities who lose someone in a shooting; I saw the horrific damage to the communities, but I'm white; does it matter to anyone that I care; no! I'm white; Im shamed to death that everything is my fault because Im on easy street; but what street is easy street; Ive never been on it. I went through personal horror and tragedy as a child; I was destroyed in my own country; what white people are they talking about that are on easy street; the great oppressors. If I speak up; Im called a lier?
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You've got the far left hating white men; you have white men joining this very group that openly wants white men to vanish from existence; feminists! Why; if you're a white male; why would you call yourself a feminist; are you crazy; feminists are your enemy; BLue pill cuks.
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I see...

[ Continued ]

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Old Writings by Zor on Fri Mar 15, 2019 2:53 pm
I shared several old poems on the forums here (https://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic211905.html) and thought I'd make a blog post here to make them easier to find for people.

The Unknown (Oct-Dec 96)

A constantly erratic theme
Where only the stars gleam

A place of nightmares and dreams
a place of forever equals and no teams

The great motion in works
Where the ultimate unknown lurks

A forest of stellar sights
A thousand maybes and mights

A place of wonder no one will find
A world only within our mind



Open Wounds (3-13-97)

My life is full of nothing
holes I cannot fill in my mind
nightmares, dreams, hopes, fears
all inside but not all mine

Open woulds bleeding inside
in places I don't know
in places I can't find

She dances, she is a flower, she is
my precious fairy, he is my
strength, he is my mirror, none are
me who are all me

These open wounds remain
buried beneath the skin so far
they pull me down like tar
these open wounds a hidden pain
Pixie
No One Knows (6 Dec 98)

No one knows that this is true
Deep within, other versions of me
Longing to be open and free as you
Desperately hidden, desperate that you don't see

We cling inside to our lights
Hiding from the shadows dark
No one knows the pain and frights
No one knows we are your fire's spark



My Grief (3-28-97)

I'm walking through the trails by Moose Lake, it's 2AM
the branches pull at the tights, tug on the skirt
"I feel pretty." I hear the words but it's not me, I don't say them
If I knew how I got here, if the heels didn't make my feet hurt

Another night sneaking into the house dressed like a girl
I'll bury the clothes in my closet, deep inside
the feel I'll get caught, I want to hurl
I hate that again this happened, ashamed I'll hide

Why don't I remember how it began, where I got this dress
the things I'm in, down to the panties, too scared to be amused
a 10 minute walk, I left as a boy, over an hour later an amnesiac girl, what a mess
so much time, many actions, no memory, I feel self-abused

I know I'm not gay, or think I'm a girl, so what the hell?!
How does this keep happening to me, why has it always happened to me?!
I feel like I'm living between lives, the memory gaps a prison cell
I wish I knew what was concealed, what my mind hides from me

Another weekend babysitting, wearing worthless clothes is fine
so when I find myself away from here dressed like a pretty flower
long since thrown away what I wore, it won't be a big loss of mine
I don't know what I'll be in or doing, and I hope it's not longer than an hour



My Monster (5-7-97)

I feel the monster stirring inside
it plagues my mind, haunts my dreams
it is the nightmare I cannot forget or hide
I fear it is more real than it seems

A dark man standing like an overlord
whose menacing presence makes me shake
his touch as dark as his form, I feel whored
he comes just a few times a year, how much can I take

My monster is the worst kind
not only because he makes me a little kid
My monster lives within my mind
always punishing my crying after doing what he did

How am I so awful to deserve this fate
what did I do to be punished by his touch
despite my dear friends inside, it's me I hate
Am I so awful to deserve this pain, because it's just too much

My monster says he loves me while he destroys
openly gentle and loving with a smile
but when he comes for me alone, it's a menacing poise
what he did poisons the mind with toxic bile

My monster chases me, catches me, causes strife
could I ever be free without ending my life



Nashville (17 Apr 02)

A dark train pulls into Nashville
He can't remember from where he just came
The city lights confuse his brain he doesn't know where to go
The sky above is just ascloudy as the day he's seen

He keeps looking into the mirror every day
hoping he'll see something he knew yesterday
he keeps looking into himself
hoping to find the answers to who he was

A cold rain falls over Nashville
He can't stop shivering from deep within
The...

[ Continued ]

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