document.write('<div style="border: 1px solid #C5D7EF;"><h2 style="margin: 0px; padding: 2px; color: #3366CC; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 1.1em; font-weight: normal; background-color: #E5ECF9; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/view/random_blogs_sid-31a6cd32318ed577993a969acf689930.html">Psychology and Mental Health Forum Blogs Feed</a></h2>');
		
		document.write('<div style="font-size: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if(document.getElementById(\'b_12988\').style.display == \'none\'){document.getElementById(\'b_12988\').style.display=\'block\';}else{document.getElementById(\'b_12988\').style.display=\'none\';}if(this.style.background.search(\'https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif\') != -1){this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}else{this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';" onmouseout="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 0px\';" style="margin: 5px 3px 0 3px; float: left; background-image: url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif); background-position: 0px, 0px; width: 12px; height: 12px;" /><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/OMNICELL/where_am_at_right_now._b-12988_sid-31a6cd32318ed577993a969acf689930.html">Where am at right now.</a></div><div id="b_12988" style="display: none; padding: 5px 5px 2px 15px; font-size: 0.9em; border-bottom: 1px dotted #DDDDDD;">Im in a strange cross roads; but Im not in the middle anymore. <br />. <br />In the 12 step meetings; Im starting to talk about what I want to do right now; who I want to be right now.  What would make me happy right now.  <br />.<br />Im working with the universe;  Ive found;  as much as I don&#039;t like it;  the fact that Im having to rebuild my life from the ground up with no ones help accept the universe; this is hard...   I have to use my imagination with the universe help to see and create pathways to where I want to be.  I have to discover them through work.  <br />.<br />I write allot of stories to rebuild my life and Im going to have to keep building more stories to rebuild my life.   This is taking the place of the old life that was taken from me. <br />.<br />I learned a lesson from some of my writings.  I learned that when I was abandon; I no longer cared anymore about myself and who I associated with; and thats when I started having problems;  the people I associated with could not love me correctly because they did not have the capacity to love anything or care. <br />.<br />Ive learned that I must be discerning of who I associate with.  And this has been a major problem of my life.  The people I associate with don&#039;t specifically like me; they might be using me and don&#039;t want me around. <br />.<br />I would rather be around thugs then be alone;   However, I&#039;ve changed my mind;  I would rather be alone and work with the universe then be around thugs...   And I have to learn this the hard way.  <br />. <br />I thought I could hang around anyone;  it didn&#039;t work;  I was not respected by everyone. and Ive found out the hard way;  its a humiliating situation.   I don&#039;t like myself because I was thrown away so anyone can come into my space;  it doesn&#039;t matter.  Well;  this wont work. <br />.<br />I have to pull back and only be around the people of high level and value I&#039;m interested in. Also, I cant be around people because they will give me attention;  thats not enough reason to let strangers into my life that have no value for me;  and Ive felt the back lash of this as well. Im learning.  I thought i could get something for free; but it did not happen.  I wanted to see everyone at an intimate personal level because I wanted a family or needed a family so I wanted to make everyone my family; and it does not work that way.   The alternative is what I have to learn; its hard but worth it.  I cant sell my goods to everyone;  only those with the proper credentials.  Im learning its hard.  its been easy to throw myself on people; but in the end it has been a hardening experience that has left me dry and broken.   If I hold back and decide what I want;   who do I want to associate with. who?  and learn to wait for it;  and work toward it with the universes help;  do things in an enriched fashion; I might get somewhere; Im going to have to work for it; its not free;  real people of real value are not free;  and Im going to have to work for it;  And this is going to take work and restraint.   I know what Im worth but did not believe I had what it takes to be me again with its requirements.  I felt the requirements were to high;  I didnt have it in me.  What I didnt realize; I didnt have a choice. I can be no less then who I am; I can be around everyone.  I have to be around those I relate with.  <br />. <br />I got mad at the world and did not trust higher level people anymore;  goal oriented white collar people with money or educations.  So, I tried the people of the lower levels; and that didnt work either.  So;  Now Im understanding that I have to hold out for the right type of people to associate with.   And I must be at places where these people gather....   And nothing less.   <br />. <br />Im not suggeting fake people that look the part are of interest.  Im talking about real people. <br />.<br />When I see a group of people and I want to bust into it and be part of; I must stop and realize; I cant just go bust into groups of any kind; I must ask;  who or what are they.  Whats my group... what am I looking for and what am I not looking...<br /> <br /> <a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/OMNICELL/where_am_at_right_now._b-12988_sid-31a6cd32318ed577993a969acf689930.html" class="postlink-local">[ Continued ]</a></div>');
		
		document.write('<div style="font-size: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if(document.getElementById(\'b_1949\').style.display == \'none\'){document.getElementById(\'b_1949\').style.display=\'block\';}else{document.getElementById(\'b_1949\').style.display=\'none\';}if(this.style.background.search(\'https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif\') != -1){this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}else{this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';" onmouseout="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 0px\';" style="margin: 5px 3px 0 3px; float: left; background-image: url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif); background-position: 0px, 0px; width: 12px; height: 12px;" /><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/CrackedGirl/weekend_gmc_b-1949_sid-31a6cd32318ed577993a969acf689930.html">Weekend &amp; GMC</a></div><div id="b_1949" style="display: none; padding: 5px 5px 2px 15px; font-size: 0.9em; border-bottom: 1px dotted #DDDDDD;">This is where I went walking on Saturday with my family - it was wonderful.  Good old Cheddar.  Then we wandered around the town, had a cup of tea and chips.  A really nice day.  I even treated everyone to fudge.<br /><br />http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01373/Cheddar-Gorge_1373977c.jpg<br /><br />I got home today to find the GMC report from my psych to the GMC waiting for me <img src="https://www.psychforums.com/images/smilies/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" title="Sad" />  I will talk more about it in my next blog maybe as I am a bit upset about it all atm.<br /><br />Anyhow I hope you are all well.<br /><br />Huge hugs<br /><br />Cracked</div>');
		
		document.write('<div style="font-size: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if(document.getElementById(\'b_284\').style.display == \'none\'){document.getElementById(\'b_284\').style.display=\'block\';}else{document.getElementById(\'b_284\').style.display=\'none\';}if(this.style.background.search(\'https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif\') != -1){this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}else{this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';" onmouseout="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 0px\';" style="margin: 5px 3px 0 3px; float: left; background-image: url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif); background-position: 0px, 0px; width: 12px; height: 12px;" /><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/AnxxietyAttacks/you%CA%B9re_not_different_b-284_sid-31a6cd32318ed577993a969acf689930.html">You're Not Different</a></div><div id="b_284" style="display: none; padding: 5px 5px 2px 15px; font-size: 0.9em; border-bottom: 1px dotted #DDDDDD;">I read so many posts here about how people think they are better than some, but then they downplay it.<br /><br />Don&#039;t forget we are at a mental health website. Everyone here knows what&#039;s up. Especially if you are a regular as specific forums. It actually kind of makes me feel like crap as a person with mental health issues, there&#039;s fighting within the community about who&#039;s the &quot;sickest&quot; or not accepting people because they aren&#039;t &quot;sick&quot; enough. Almost as if an official diagnosis isn&#039;t enough to get full support from peers. Wouldn&#039;t it just be better and a time saver, to point someone in the right direction besides degrading how they think and feel?<br /><br />In all honesty, people that think they are better than most is nothing new and nothing different. No matter to what degree. I&#039;m a social phobic and an agoraphobic, but i&#039;ve met many, many people going through life, as many have. From the low class to the extremely, extremely wealthy. All ages.<br /><br />I can be so rude to many people, but it&#039;s mostly out of fear or past hate from situations with people. People, people, people, hence social phobic. I CAN admit that. That IS why I am here at these forums. <br /><br />But, I have yet to meet anyone who ISN&#039;T like so many. Who isn&#039;t rude, who isn&#039;t mean because it&#039;s fun to be mean or they don&#039;t give a crap, or whatever. Genuine, though, not a fake cover-up. I know there&#039;s people like that out there, but there&#039;s just SO many people who aren&#039;t and they think they are so darn different cause they don&#039;t care. They may genuinely not. That&#039;s not different, though.<br /><br />People lives are tough. I understand people not wanting to be respectful to others for so many reasons or not having the capabilities to do so.<br /><br />It&#039;s NOT different though. It irks me to hear that.<br /><br />People kill each other everyday, screw each other over financially, in relationships, as one person, as a group, ok, what&#039;s new?</div>');
		
		document.write('<div style="font-size: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if(document.getElementById(\'b_6808\').style.display == \'none\'){document.getElementById(\'b_6808\').style.display=\'block\';}else{document.getElementById(\'b_6808\').style.display=\'none\';}if(this.style.background.search(\'https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif\') != -1){this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}else{this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';" onmouseout="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 0px\';" style="margin: 5px 3px 0 3px; float: left; background-image: url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif); background-position: 0px, 0px; width: 12px; height: 12px;" /><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/xfa/optimistic_b-6808_sid-31a6cd32318ed577993a969acf689930.html">Optimistic</a></div><div id="b_6808" style="display: none; padding: 5px 5px 2px 15px; font-size: 0.9em; border-bottom: 1px dotted #DDDDDD;">Things are improving. It&#039;s a slow process, but we&#039;re moving forward. That&#039;s all I have to say for now. Next entry will probably be about psychological/emotional abuse.</div>');
		
		document.write('<div style="font-size: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if(document.getElementById(\'b_11216\').style.display == \'none\'){document.getElementById(\'b_11216\').style.display=\'block\';}else{document.getElementById(\'b_11216\').style.display=\'none\';}if(this.style.background.search(\'https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif\') != -1){this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}else{this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';" onmouseout="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 0px\';" style="margin: 5px 3px 0 3px; float: left; background-image: url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif); background-position: 0px, 0px; width: 12px; height: 12px;" /><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/tmc115/failure_b-11216_sid-31a6cd32318ed577993a969acf689930.html">Failure</a></div><div id="b_11216" style="display: none; padding: 5px 5px 2px 15px; font-size: 0.9em;">I just feel like such an embarrassment.<br /><br />I know it&#039;s not really practical to think that way, and it&#039;s not fair. But I do.<br /><br />We have this new medical device at work. Today we were supposed to set it up with our first customer.<br /><br />Well it wouldn&#039;t read the finger-prick. You only get 6 strips and we went through 3 of them.<br /><br />I just felt like such an idiot. I was so embarrassed and ashamed that I couldn&#039;t get it to work right.<br /><br />I hate being a failure. I hate not being able to do things right.</div>');
		
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