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https://www.psychforums.com/blog/tmc115/so_part_v_b-11341_sid-71c6da6d02e243eff6d27e915ce767ed.html |
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| Author: | tmc115 [ Thu Aug 24, 2017 7:54 pm ] |
| Blog Subject: | SO Part V |
SO’s back story He came from a big family. His mom was poorly educated, but made her life into the American Dream by working hard and eventually becoming moderately rich. She had her own restaurant where SO worked along with his twin sister. SO’s father died when he was pretty young, and he didn’t have a great relationship with his stepdad. Nowadays they will talk on the phone, but when SO was younger they didn’t get along. But SO loved his mom and wanted her to be happy. SO had many friends and had lots of adventures, drinking, riding motorcycles, crazy car rides, smoking pot, baseball, camping, etc. His best friend was B and they would do anything for each other. When SO was in high school he was dating the woman (Li) who would become his wife. They got pregnant and decided to terminate the pregnancy. It wasn’t an easy decision, and he is sad that it came to that, but looking back he knows it was the right choice. After high school it was decided that SO and Li needed to get married. After all, they’d been dating for long enough, right? SO and Li both weren’t 100% about the marriage, but did what was expected of them. SO and Li had 2 daughters. Thanks to being about to build a nest egg and plan ahead for each pregnancy those girls had happy lives; they were raised knowing they were smart, special, and loved. SO and Li were falling apart, but they kept the family together for those girls. SO worked at a variety of jobs: welding, grave-digging, fire-fighting, and being a paramedic (to name a few). Each job came with its own unique challenges, but SO always succeeded. Fire-fighting was extremely stressful, but not nearly as much as being a paramedic. SO and Li had fallen out of love with each other. They didn’t even want to be in the same room as each other. Eventually they separated. I’m not sure how old the girls were but I believe they were pretty much adults. I only know things from SO’s side, but the story is that Li’s mother was telling very unflattering things about SO to his girls, and, for a long time, neither of his daughter’s would speak to him. He met his 2nd wife, Di, working as a paramedic. It’s hard to understand why they married, because he cannot give me a good reason. I think it was the sex. People knew Di wasn’t a “faithful” woman. Anybody who gave her any amount of attention she was in bed with them. During the wedding SO’s mother told one of his friends, “That woman is going to hurt my boy.” Sometime after the wedding SO’s mother took ill with cancer. She died inside her home surrounded by family. When she went SO said, “It was like a relief. She was in so much pain. I was glad that was all over for her.” No one knew what to do when the ambulance arrived. SO picked up his mother’s body (she was so light) and carried her into the ambulance. “She carried me for nine months. I think I can carry her to the ambulance.” SO’s second marriage was like a heroine-fueled nightmare. Everyday he’d be faced with bills Di had accumulated and lies she wove like silken webs. When she got bills in the mail she would throw them in the garbage, so SO wouldn’t know about them until he started getting collection calls. He would listen to guys bragging about their sex stories and realize, from the description, that the woman was Di. When he confronted her about it, she would say he was being suffocating, that he was crazy to believe those stories. At least once he walked in on her getting F*& and she just turned around and said he was spying on her. She racked up tickets like they were going out of style and ran his credit into the ground. Her mom ended up staying with them and tried, on multiple occasions, to kill SO. Besides good ole mother-in-law trying to open his throat with a knife Di would also get violent and start throwing things at SO. She brainwashed him against his friends and family so he was completely owned by her. All this time you gotta remember: his daughters wouldn’t talk to him, he had just lost his mother, and he was working as a paramedic. During his time on the ambulance he saw a lot of things. A mother ironing her newborn to death, a man with his head smashed open, collecting body parts off the train tracks. Even to this day he sees the faces of the people who died. I’m not sure how, but SO got away from Di. It took him a long time to get his head on straight. He left with only a few dollars in his pocket. He had no home, so he stayed with his best friend B and his family. He got a job driving trucks and worked as much as he could just to keep himself busy. He saw a therapist who prescribed anti-depressants. Even years after leaving Di she kept finding ways to haunt him. Car payments, tickets, fees kept coming back to him, because they were still married. Di began contacting SO again saying that she’d changed and she really missed him. SO was clever; he asked her to meet him and sign the divorce papers, so that they can get re-married. But as soon as she signed the divorce, he flipped her the bird and said, “So long, sucker!” After the divorce SO started to get his life back; he made amends with his girls, got back with his friends, became a manager of a concrete manufacturing plant, and rented the little cabin where we met. During his recovery he had relationships with a number of women. Most were just sexual, but he managed to always find the kind of woman who just wanted what’s on the other side of the fence. They would ask him how much money he made and tell him he needs to be more ambitious. They would use him for alcohol or money. SO gave up on having serious relationships and decided to just have fun and be single. Then I came around. I guess because I didn’t ask for anything he really liked me. After we were done the first time I took off quickly to not seem rude. Subsequent encounters he would tell me I didn’t need to rush off and we’d hang out. He even cooked for me! Remember he worked at his mom’s restaurant, the man could cook. Before we really got serious his best friend B died. He did a really stupid thing, he drove home drunk and got in a car accident. He was an alcoholic. B’s wife Bi was also good friends with SO, which meant SO, while grieving the loss of his friend, must also comfort Bi. End SO Part V: SO’s back story |
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| Author: | tmc115 [ Mon Sep 11, 2017 1:31 pm ] |
corrections: SO and 1st wife divorced when the girls were around 8-12 years old. SO and 2nd wife split up because SHE left HIM for some other guy. |
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