| Psychology and Mental Health Forum | |
https://www.psychforums.com/blog/tmc115/part_vii_last_part_b-11356.html |
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| Author: | tmc115 [ Tue Aug 29, 2017 6:16 pm ] |
| Blog Subject: | Part VII Last Part |
There’s more to our story, but I won’t get into that now. The important thing is the last few years we’ve been together have been the best so far. Our love isn’t fiery passion; it’s more caring and comforting each other. There was a time I dreaded the weekends; how will be treat me? How will I react? How will I make him hate me? But now I dread Mondays because he’s gone all week. It wasn’t easy to get where we are now, and it didn’t happen overnight. Our relationship isn’t perfect, but it’s a lot closer. I had to make him understand that I was being hurt. That meant I needed to clearly express myself in the moment. It was, and still is, very scary and difficult to do. My heart jack-hammers in my chest, I feel like I’m falling down a tunnel, and I struggle to put my thoughts into words, but I push through and do my best. Sometimes I still have a hard time understanding why I hurt. When I figure it out I try to say what bothers me. I’m embarrassed that it took me so long to find the words. Example: SO and I had a couple over for cards and dinner. While we were talking SO was cleaning up and saw that I didn’t put the dishes away. He made a very passive-aggressive remark and looked at me very darkly and coldly. I felt shame, guilt and frustration. But in the moment I could only be ashamed and guilty. It took me a few hours to understand the frustration. When they left and SO started to ask me about the evening I said it was good except the dishwasher thing. That wasn’t fair for him make me look like a slob in front of guests. It wasn’t fair that he require I must remember every single thing all the time. I forgot and I feel bad about it, so why make me feel worse? I don’t hassle him when he forgets things (and he forgets A LOT of things) why can’t he treat me like I treat him? He thought about it and sat back and told me I was right and that wasn’t fair of him. He didn’t think about it like that. He even told Bi about it and she told him that was a really dickish thing to do. And that’s how it’s been. Slowly we’ve learned how to respect one another. Instead of calling me 10 times a day I call him on the way to and from work. Establishing a routine has helped us both feel more secure in our relationship. On the weekends he cooked me lovely meals, we snuggle, and I fall asleep with him playing with my hair. End of SO Story |
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| Author: | Snaga [ Thu Aug 31, 2017 4:33 am ] |
Sounds as if things are looking up, I'm glad to see an ending like this! |
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