| Psychology and Mental Health Forum | |
https://www.psychforums.com/blog/tmc115/becoming_more_complete_b-13494.html |
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| Author: | tmc115 [ Tue Dec 01, 2020 2:05 pm ] |
| Blog Subject: | Becoming More Complete |
I'm hitting all my goals, and, oddly enough becoming more my grandmother every day. But it doesn't bother me, in fact I'm proud, because I'm finding the wisdom in her way of life more day by day and it makes me appreciate her and love her even more. After I broke up with SO I was left totally alone. I tried to get him to stay as a roommate, but he wouldn't have it. Looking back I'm glad he refused bc I never wouldv'e made the progress I did if he were with me. I felt desperately alone and unloved with SO. He had stopped making any attempts at kindness or physical intimacy. All he did was sneer and scoff at me. So he left with few attempts to make any sort of amends. So many thoughts and feelings raging inside of me and on top of that I now owned my house which I had no one to help me care for it, which was a laugh bc at this point I couldn't take care of myself. I managed to meet my now best friend who helped me through this difficult time. And after I dealt with the emotional damage done to me by SO. I realized I had an entire storage facility of baggage to unload about my childhood. But I couldn't truly face my demons bc they refused to hear me. My mom, stepdad, his kids, my half-brothers all blocked me. And the only reason why was bc I was saying very emotional stuff. Trying to tell people about the abuse, the neglect. But no one wanted to help me, they didn't want to hear my cries. So I learned about myself. I learned how to better interact with people. I learned how to make them WANT to listen to me. I learned how to not let my fear control me. I got 3 cats. I gained a roommate. I got a new bf. And now I'm hosting dinner parties! Yesterday we decorated the house for Christmas, something I haven't been able to do in years, because the task seemed so monumental and there wasn't anyone to decorate for. But we did it! Boxes and boxes were hauled from the attic, items were sorted, seasonal decor was put away, and we got the tree looking SO BEAUTIFUL!!! And on top of everything I also got the attic reorganized (a goal I've wished to accomplish for a few years) AND we made $75 selling some things on sale sites. Having others around makes doing things so much more bearable and enjoyable. Getting things done isn't a chore, it's something for us to do together. <3 <3 <3 |
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