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- March 2014
Dear Lizzy
   Wed Mar 26, 2014 1:54 am

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Permanent Linkby riverside on Wed Jan 01, 2014 11:07 pm

do you ever feel like your life is a bunch of cliche's?

I feel like writing about how much i hate the fact that the things i am going through i have gone through a million times before. sure they change, sure they get better and worse but it is a circle. even that is a cliche'!"!"

dont get me wrong we love our life , love most of it anyway but how can i love all of my life if i dont love all of me?

I hate night time, i get tired and go to be with my SO and they fall asleep and i hear there breathing , so gentle and calm and peaceful and that is the place i want to be, but instead i am battling the sensations that my body are telling me are real but when i know for a fact that they are history thriving off of my anxiety.

The night brings night mares and worse night terrors! i believe they are true at the time and i even test the realisty of the situation within the nightmares and sometimes i figure out they are not real but other times i just get drawn in. I had my worse nightmare/terror last night - well during the day because i cant sleep at nights!

i want to be next to my SO right now - i have tried all the routeine stuff, all the grounding and i can be calm and my head can be still but i just dont sleep.


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