been on another forum for sometime.most people ignore me on there,some talk for a few minuets then talk round u. new guy appearead and after a few days started talking. made out he has mh problems and i chatted to him a few times. then it dawned on me.he comes on with almost beliveable problems but they dissapear after a while and he gets friendly. normally if i mention my tag people get edgey and change the subject or just talk around me. not him he was digging for info.he fell down a night or so ago when i asked him what psyc meds he was on.he said theyd just changed and wasnt sure what the new ones were,didnt know what his old ones were didnt know what hiv meds he was on. now everyone i know with psyc problems knows their meds as does anyone with hiv.my friend on the ward who had bad drug induced psychosis and was heavily medicated new his meds,u reliegh on them u dont forget. i told him i was leaving forum and going to another and he bugged me for info of where. whoever hes working for didnt pick a guy who knew enough. its the old trick of banging u in a cell with a con who will be ur best friend, help u,get u talking,then the next thing u know hes stood in the dock giving evidence against you. try harder next time.had a story his old meds were not good so changed.you know what ur on when itts like that he hadnt a clue.like my old boss said trust no one but urself. i know everyones got i tin for me im not that stupid but it will take a good person to get any truth out of me,im not sure i know.
didnt give up on the problem i was solving.sat one more night nad worked out what i had missed. theyve got the answer they needed but they wont believe it i knew that.they have things they want to tie into it but they cant see its from a different problem.so why after all this time do i know the answer i can see them thinking. cos i do,i know lots they will never know. they were strange people but not that strange in my world. the "professionals",the criminoligists ect have done their thing and their right,anyone below them is wrong. how the hell could they imagine their minds,they think they can but when u hear them its all rubbish anyone could say from the stuff out there. they are like critics,one man says a restaurant is crp and half the world believes him and jumps on the band wagon scared to be different. they want to be in his gang and belive they know too. i watched a police program on the telly a few nights ago about a serial killer and the police used a prof-filer to say who they were looking for,an expert and they went with it. they caught the guy eventually bu tit was nothing to do with the profile,the expert had got turned out it wasnt the first time. every single detail wrong. said he was single,nope he was married,said his job was xxxx,nope completely the opposite ect ect ect all wrong.i what i have noticed about these people is there like the psychics, when they realise their getting it wrong they subtley change track.you know the is there a jane in the room jane ,jane,jenny,june. just con men.they make me laugh.some u can see belive themselfs so much they get all gidddy when they talk about it,they get off on it just like a killer.anyway ive said enough before about those maggots feeding off nothing more than nextdoors dog could work out.
my gender feeling wont stay down but theres nothing i can do but try to bury them. i made the mistake of voicing them and then been made a fool of. i got no support,no counceling nothing,then the consultant wrote in a letter he shows no signs of this condition.bastard,he was the one who left me out to dry,he did it on purpose.what they see on the outside isnt whats looking out from the inside.broken.no point harping on about it nothing will happen.if i won the lottery then money would talk id be straight in and have the opp.buy a consultant a new car and hed soon see things ur way.anyway that wont happen. need to go to another plannet where they allow such things.maybe...

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walked away from it. just making myself look a fool. let him have his last laugh to hell with everyone. i know nothing about anything. turn over a new leaf,go stuff urself why should i. the worlds so blind it deserved all it gets. like i thought i knew anything. people s,mile pat u on the head and tell u to go sit in a corner. oh there going to pay for this in a way they wont know. ingrates and maggots.

i should walk away from this problem.trouble is im right. all my life people have put me down but they dont know what to when im proved right. ive stood infront of powerful people and stood my ground to be proved right. the cry is what makes u think u know ,people with letters after their names have decreed whats happening, but they were wrong. i only want 2 things out this,1 to undo a wrong and to beat him,i dont like him. its gona take someone with influence to progress this. i dont really want to do that again but needs must. they ask why i know more. im cautious,they may take the wrong idea. they can never understand the thinking,the different level of pleasure that they felt. they can only see their side and its tunnel vision. they dont understand the reasons behind why he placed them where he placed them. they dont realize theres more but that doesnt matter this is the one thats close. i dont like people who hurt children,its out of order and for that ill put my mind in his and see whats real. that is something thats easy to me but they dont understand that,just another nutter. he lost control he wasnt very good,but he did enough damage. hey maybe im totally wrong. perhaps its all fantasy.why now.well whilst he was alive it was his party. i dont like anyone. the only 2 people i had are gone,he was a challenge but a poor one. threw me for a while but forgot to re think it in his time. thats done now and the answers just about the same. meds make it harder to think the battle against them is hard. might stop them to do the next bit. then a force theve never met will suprize them.
on the other hand i may just go back to my world. im bored and want some fun.i have someone in sight. im gona screw his mind.its fun and so easy. something to do whilst i work out the last bits to my bigger problem. now thats a challenge worthy of my mind. god i saw another one of those criminal psychologists on tv. what a load of drivel. they dont actually say anything usefull other than what any ordinary person could.they belive they can get in the mind of the person.if they could they wouldnt do another. they are snake oils salesmen but people belive them so thats ok. u can manipulate them so easily its boring. biggest laugh is he did big time and they couldnt see it because of their misguided belife in themselfs. way to go i dont blame him for it,how dare they think they understand.they sit infront of certain people and never realize they are a few breaths away from the last breath. the person wont care other than to shut the person up.but intregue and novelty take over.would be a foolish act with no reward.

they dont want to listen. numpties. well sucks to be them. let them have the last laugh doesnt mean jack to me.i know now how and where,more than they could ever do.can see them walking the moor u just have to set ur mind back.they dont understand the ongoing feelings they are neanderthals. what they cant find they dont understand.pleasure is relative to the situation.did anyone actually do anything wrong or was it just to the wrong person. dont need their opinions mine are all that matter and ive no more time for this,its to easy and boring now. ian was another example of the docs not knowing what they were doing. pathetic maggots as he would say.when all u crave is an intelligent conversation with some one not trying to second guess u and what u get is an arrogant personality hidden behind a false attention it switches u off. all they want to do is prove that theres something wrong with u when its them that have a problem uncertain of their minds.some get frightened when they realize they are wrong and dont know what to do. they think they have the upper hand when infact they gave that up a long time ago.its all a game,one im bored of there are no half decent players. lets play a new game.one they wont understand i dont want them having a clue. who the hell do they think they are thinking they know me.they try to get in my head then all they get is usless to them but keeps them buisy. my cars done and been out. out of sight out of mind as they say. the stars look nice. so many in a small place.space is relative.

They dont see whats in front of them.minds so closed they barley see their own lives in their blinded world.They cant imagine others can think like people they despise because they cant think like them.their feeble minds cant cope with thoughts they consider unthinkable yet themselfs will have secret thoughts they would rather u didnt know. every one has secrets that are on the border of crossing the line. what that line is seems to be decided by whoevers talking,who ever has controllof the situation. if u dare to step outside their world then u become as bad as the people they dont understand.they consider because they dont understand someone then how can you. how can you know how someone they consider beyound understanding thinks.it seems like its always the same thing, what drives someone to that,how can they think such things,they are evil.people cant cope with the fact they may understand if they opened their minds,many are in fear its close to their little secrets.they cant absorb the reasoning without emotional interference.evil is what u make it. someone kills 3 people and they are the most evil thing on earth yet a man invents a weapon that kills thousands and hes revered by his piers. one kills directly and one kills through others but are seen as a world apart.the inventor knows his tools will kill,he will get his kicks from that he knows what hes getting but can distance himself from the act so look unaccountable.crimes are best done that way.distanced.the best crime is one that cant be found.they know its happened but they dont know where or how.like the street magicians its done infront of your face.i remember one saying the closer you areto the audience the more they cant see how its done,its impossible id see it.i like it when things are deemed impossible by the experts.trouble with experts is they dont like saying all they know,it may upset the world and they dont want to be the one to do that.whats normal thinking for one the mass cant understand. to be so higher visioned and awake than them is exhilarating to a point.mind games are fun but to find a worthy opponent is tire sum. i am amused by the criminologists,profilers and psychologists. they state the obvious that any normal person could,nothing hard about that,he had a bad childhood,he was spoilt yada yada yada.then they like to say their addons to that adjusting it so its still nothing special then they try to make u think they know the mind of the person.they have the gaul to think they can think,feel,experience what someone of higher intelect than them does.the closest they have ever come to experiencing anything close to an opened mind is thinking having a secret is really bad and they have the mind of someone special.they closest they have probably come to stepping out of their world is having a sneeky look at a page 3 girl.they will fear being caught. they are professionals they cant be caught,its fear not experience,experience u want to feel again and again. they remind me of critics like a food critic. one man says a restaurant is rubbish and everyone follows like sheep. one man,a nobody but other nobodies want to be part of the game so they make out they are as knowledgeable as the one man and soon a world thinks the same.someone whoes worthless opinion without them is nothing suddenly has become an expert because the sheep want to be experts as well. i agree with ian,these people are leaches making money pretending they know peoples minds and boosted by the sheep who want to think they know as well.people say what drives a person to do that making out they have no idea,no feelings,no thoughts like that,scared they may be frowned upon,scared they may be closer to wanting to feel it than they want,terrified they will enjoy it,cross the line. their world is apart from ours,lower,devoid of true experiences.the docs make me laugh in a funny way,they do tests to see if u are psycho or schizo or any of the other labels they like to give u.what they forget...

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