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quietgirl2538: Consumer 6; Posts: 6025; Joined: Sat Feb 16, 2013 2:23 am; Blog: View Blog (141)

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Unsure and unknown future

by quietgirl2538 on Fri Apr 03, 2015 8:35 am

Therapist says I'm manic. I do find it hard to believe. Tonight I had some thoughts. I'm fearful to say it's racing thoughts and also psychosis. Monday I make an appointment as soon as possible to visit the doctor. You know what I don't fear this. I'm ok I tell myself, what is the big deal? I really think that. I don't see prominent behavior or thoughts. I guess because in the past things had to get really bad before someone noticed or I hated myself for my behavior. I blocked myself from getting into facebook. My husband has my new password and I hope I stay away from it too. I couldn't get the email changed so I wouldn't try to get the password again set up, anyway. I don't want to be so sick I do something I will embarrass myself with. I have no inhibition right now and that is why I did this. My husband knows what is going on for the most part. I just didn't tell him everything I had spent money on. I asked him not to ask me. And that the items could not be returned. The psychosis, in the past, has gotten out of hand and usually it isn't until the crash of the depression that I feel and believe things are not well. I usually wait for the depression to go away on it's own, but last two times or time before last I landed in a hospital. I was very ill. And the depression did not go away on it's own. I absolutely had to have medicine. Crossing my fingers I am ok. But I've said that to myself plenty of times.

“There’s an Asian expression that ‘a burden shared is halved.’"

Bipolar I
ADD (inattentive kind)
*I take loads of meds, but they keep me stable

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