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mp_96
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Joined: Wed Sep 07, 2016 10:03 am
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- September 2016
How can I reexperience trauma?
   Mon Sep 19, 2016 8:19 am
DO NOT SELF-DIAGNOSE
   Mon Sep 12, 2016 3:05 pm
Sexual Arousal vs Anxiety Arousal
   Mon Sep 12, 2016 2:49 pm
The value of the ''Hive Mind''
   Mon Sep 12, 2016 2:34 pm

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How can I reexperience trauma?

Permanent Linkby mp_96 on Mon Sep 19, 2016 8:19 am

Hello guys.I have been diagnosed by six specialists with (P)OCD,which seems it looses the grasp on me slowly...now that I dont feel so trapped in the ocd ''me'' and have some moments of clarity I started questioning some things.I have had a severe traumatic experience,and I do have partial memories(images from it),but the strange thing is the emotions are not there,and I amateurly believe that they are blocked....somewhere...They cant be diminished,they are ''written'' somewhere and I am trying to find where.I really really want to reexperience them,because it seems lots of distressful situations,phobias,obessions and compulsions,self esteem(low) derive from there.I was hospitalized from 1yo-4yo and had multiple surgeries away from my parents,an I remember images of it....but emotionally I feel numb...How could I ever try to spark it,so the process of re-appearing can begin.Want to add that since yesterday having an ocd attack,then calming down,the thoughts dissipated,but I felt a strange chill,and my forehad started to feel like someone is pinching me...

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DO NOT SELF-DIAGNOSE

Permanent Linkby mp_96 on Mon Sep 12, 2016 3:05 pm

A great topic,that is fairly common amongst anxiety disorders,is the tendency to find a solution of the doubts through concrete(notice concrete) evidence that everything is ok.From personal experience,using harsh definitions about a disorder YOU THINK you may have is actually a practice that in itself,is malignant.Even if you have a disorder like OCD,and try to find more and more reassurance through hard definitions,is only going to make you worse....simply because the use of TERMS is all about categorizing common characteristics,at least in mental health,that is not physical and it is not so concrete because of this.Medical definitions are used as a compass,a common ground for specialists to categorize individuals with a disorder,and merely used to diagnose them.My 4th psychiatrist told me ''We use the DSM mostly for official reasons,for papers it is(know the word in Greek not english),if we were to diagnose people solely based on the DSM or the ICD,we would just open it find what the individual ''has'' and in a matter of minutes we have a diagnose....no it doesnt work like that''.The mental professional and the medical professional,both KNOW the syptoms and both KNOW the tools on how to identify them,these tools are official diagnose manuals yes,but not alone.Each and every one of us is different,our conditions just are alike thus labelled the same,they acually are but are not(paradox).This can be just observed by checking the stories of people here,with the same disorder.....the topics are hugely diverse,and every one has a difference!At least one difference.Trust your mental health therapist or psychiatrist,do not self diagnose....in that moment you just assume you are in the same knowledge level as somebody who spent years and years of their lives trying to study these topics!!!As always,take care!!

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Sexual Arousal vs Anxiety Arousal

Permanent Linkby mp_96 on Mon Sep 12, 2016 2:49 pm

Through not a specialist,I will try to clarify this controvesy based on my own experience,and will welcome any comment that might relate,or have to do with it
My opinion is this:

Anxiety Arousal/Groinal Response:A tickling like vibrating sensation about a sexual thought that in a mental level,repulses you....(note there is a difference between repulsion and disgust,repulsion is ''I have no urge to do this'',disgust is ''This thing makes me feel sick''.The point is,being repulsed(and disgusted) about a thought is in it by itself the negative ''normal'' reaction,now simple disgust,may come with enjoyment,which actually deletes repulsion,then we are talking about a possible sign of a ego-dystonic sexual disorder).The groinal response now,is not accompanied by any other feeling than fear,and the taboo hedonism,or the mere response for seeing something in a sexual context.It is nothing...


Sexual Arousal/True Arousal.Ok I am giving a personal example:Today I was in the university giving exams,there was this girl infront of me(even if POCD makes me think i dont like adults,but since ever I liked hourglass body and good proportions),I saw her back,I wanted to kiss her and smell her scent,this mere thought that IS sexual but not in a primary sense,her skin,her features,how she moved,this all brought me into a mental nirvana,aka pleasure,hedonistic one.Then physiollogical response DUE to the arousal was created...There were no romantic feelings or feelings of affection,so I dont talk about love,but a physical way only...


This is my opinion on this matter,I hope to see your comments and have a nice conversation.Thank you all,and EVERYBODY is welcome!!

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The value of the ''Hive Mind''

Permanent Linkby mp_96 on Mon Sep 12, 2016 2:34 pm

Before I begin,I want to let you know who I am.I am a 22 year old with POCD(six clinicians diagnosed me,but I still doubt doubt doubt about my sexuality).
The purpose of this article is the ''core'' of the word ''hive mind'' I use(please excuse my English,I am not a NS).I am sending this towards any person that is suffering right now,be it anxiety disorders,paraphilias,psychotic,personality disorders etc.It is known to us (in an amateur way) that mental ilness does have biological roots,but the greatest role for it to evolve or even manifest,to have it,there were lots of events like social,emotional,cognitive that triggered or even developed the disorder.What I want to say is this:Heard many people with paraphilias saying the knew they were this/that and just realized it(they had actually realized it long ago,they didnt named it) in a later age.I also have a paraphilia myself,coprophilia is its name,and I always knew I was...I see the pattern since 3-4 years old that I had an ''abnormal'' excitement with feces...many things played role in its formation and consolidation I believe,and I can recite quite a few(not here),but I can see this pattern clearly now(it was there the whole time,just didnt named it).This however creted ne questions for me...What if I delve deep into my paraphilia,meaning to explore it in an inner level,then there is fifty percent possibility i find the factors that played a role in its reinforcement.Our sexuality is not 100% stable though,and this can be empirically and scientifically proven,the only thing that is more likely to be stable is heterosexuality/homosexuality/bisexuality.Now,what if,everyone(and this is indeed happening here) tries to delve into their disorder,make a dive and see it,explore it in a strange kind of way(personal opinion about paraphilias is that they are formated due to association patterns+habits+genetics((though I am no psychologist)) )....I mean like every person in this forum opens his/her self to all the other,the deepest thoughts and fears,then the other do the same.This my friends is what I call hivemind,or empiricall common knowledge....One can see what the other has to say,realtes or not,delves,searches,associates,finds....and therefore really spectacular observations of the human mind can be brought to light,things that may help you,or me,or anyone else,including clinicians :D

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