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https://www.psychforums.com/blog/masquerade/re_whale_music_joss_sticks_and_parrots_r-991_sid-06b1e86d96be6592c32d19324d76b75a.html |
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| Author: | masquerade [ Thu Jan 05, 2012 1:32 pm ] |
| Blog Subject: | Whale music, joss sticks and parrots |
I like to meditate. I'm a bit of a cliche really, because I do the whole palaver, you know whale music or Native Americans chanting, or Tibetan singing bowls on a CD. You know, the type of stuff they play in Shared Earth. I light my joss sticks, put on my CD, take off my shoes, close my eyes and go where my mind takes me. I try to do this every day. It's good for the cyclothmic racing brain thing I sometimes get. It helps me to focus and slow down and relax. I'm also into Jung, and find meaning in symbolism. I find that the dream like state I go into in meditation kind of makes me think in pictures, and go into a kind of Alpha or deeper state. In those states, my subconscious is given free reign, and I often wake up with an insight or knowledge about myself or my situation that hadn't occurred to me before. This happened today, and it was a wow moment. Since I was small I've been terrified of talking parrots. It's a real phobia. It just seems wrong that they can talk. It freaks me out. It began when I was in a pet shop with my dad, who was insisting that it would be a good idea to buy a parrot, just because his friend had one. We looked at one, and it suddenly began to talk, and it really freaked me out. I ran out of the shop and refused to go back in. I remember us going home, and my dad repeating over and over again how disappointed he was. He told me he'd spent a lot of money on a state of the art cage, and how I was such a silly baby for reacting in that way, that it was to have been my birthday present and he had no more money to buy anything else at the last minute. I was about four or five at the time. I went to bed and cried, and don't remember anyone coming up to see if I was okay. I also didn't get my main birthday present. If I visit a house with a parrot I have to run out of the room, break into a cold sweat and start shaking. I'm not usually like this. I've never been the type of HPD to get all hysterical or dramatic or over react. It's not histrionic. It's a real fear. A member of the family once thought it was funny to hack into my Facebook account and post pictures and videos of parrots everywhere, and I had hysterics. It sounds funny but it's not. Other people think it's strange and they can't take it seriously. Anyway, I was meditating today, in a lovely semi dream like state. The dreams I have during meditation are really vivid, and in colour. In my dream I could see a lovely blue sky, and I was somewhere hot and tropical, with palm trees and a beach. I looked into the tree and there were lots of wild parrots, and yet I wasn't scared of them. They were colourful, and very beautiful. One of them was tame and came and perched near to me. I could see his feathers, and the beautiful patterns. I woke up feeling calm. Usually if I have nightmares about parrots I wake up feeling terrified, but now I felt calm. I always have a bite to eat and a coffee after a meditiation. They say you should do this to bring yourself back into reality, to kind of ground yourself. As I was eating, I began to think about parrots and had this kind of wow moment. I believe that the phobia didn't just begin because of the bad experience in the pet shop. I thought about what pet parrots usually represent. They're a beautiful bird who is held captive in a cage, taught to mimic people but not actually speak, taught to entertain and amuse, being almost seen as a kind of a caricature. They're not so different from the HPD. I began to cry as I realised just what the meditation dream meant. The parrot in my dream was free, as he should be, not as a colourful trapped bird in a cage, there for the entertainment and amusement of its owners. I felt free too, and sad to realise that my parents didn't really treat me any differently to a parrot in a cage. Maybe I can look at parrots now, and feel sad for them, happy if they're free, and no longer be afraid? |
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| Author: | CrackedGirl [ Thu Jan 05, 2012 6:59 pm ] |
Hi hon Reading this gave me goose bumps. I could see the links with the pet shop but when you mentioned about parrots being caged it really hit me. I hate the idea of a bird being in a cage, but when they are free they are wonderful. I think the same goes for you - you do nto deserve to be in a cage. You deserve to be free. lol BTW about the Shared Earth reference hehehe. huge hugs and I think you have hit on something really significant here. Cracked |
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| Author: | masquerade [ Thu Jan 05, 2012 7:17 pm ] |
Thanks hun. It gave me goosebumps too to realise that maybe I wasn't really scared of parrrots in cages. Maybe I was scared of what my parents made me become? Hugs |
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| Author: | salted lipstick [ Fri Jan 06, 2012 1:51 pm ] |
That's a really interesting observation about the parrots being in cages. For some reason every time you've talked about the parrots I've never imagined them in cages before, just on open perches. It's interesting that you've made this observation about them being caged and how it relates to your personal feelings. I've always viewed myself as being like a caged bird. My favourite necklace that I feel represents me is of a cage and then there is the bird in front of the cage and it's sort of up to the viewer to decide whether it looks like the bird is caged or free. I've always felt that this represents the way I feel about how the events of my past have effected me. |
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| Author: | masquerade [ Fri Jan 06, 2012 2:13 pm ] |
Yes, it was quite awesome to realise why I'd been afraid of them for so long. I was only ever afraid of caged, talking parrots, not wild ones, or even parrots that can't talk. I never realised that the caged, talking parrot represented myself. Thanks Salted. Hugs to you |
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