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margharris
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Body dysmorphia: Uncertainty.

Permanent Linkby margharris on Fri May 15, 2015 3:59 am

Other issues are constantly coming to the surface as we deal with body dysmorphia. The mind is creating FUD all the time. Fear uncertainty and doubt. It seems as though uncertainty is something most of us find very difficult to manage. We just want to be certain even though we know it is so illusive. Can we ever be certain of anything happening tomorrow? We know we can't but we still seem to need to know. Is it really that we don't know how to find pleasure and happiness for ourselves? Do you know what will make you happy...really happy? Can you really be certain?
All failed attempts at surgery seem like evidence that we can't find our own certainty. All that is certain is that we have to deal with a degree of uncertainty..If we try and fight and control rather than allow, we use up energy and create anxiety.
We need outlets for our energy. We need to know what can make us happy. Isolation isn't likely to make us happy. Imagining how people might treat us when we go out just takes us down that path of negative assessing. Nothing healthful in doing that. We can get trapped by predicting the worst rather than expecting the best. But that is really happening in the future. What are we all doing now? Can we list 5 things around us that we like. Maybe we can only name one but we can focus on something positive.
If we create what we think then we need to have a way of thinking more positively and diffusing our bad thoughts. I mentioned to my son that he might be able to write out all his horrible thoughts about himself and get out all the swearing and anger he has towards his illness, and those who let him down, including himself. Even writing, 'This is bloody s##t.'might be a way to diffuse pent up feelings.
He has been lying in bed watching NBA all day. He has little appetite. He is only taking 40mg of Prozac. Anymore and the akathisia is intolerable. We have to get the Lyrica working better to increase the dose.
The outreach worker came yesterday. It was a nice talk but a lot more intensive things need to happen for this to be of value. Maybe someone caring builds confidence and connection to the outside world. She said the Lyrica and Prozac was the best combination for our profile. 60mg of Prozac was considered the therapeutic dose for BDD. A bit of a worry there..so high.
This woman is working with the team who will be doing the TMS. A special medical guy from the US is out here to help read the MRIs and suggest targets. It is still in the experimental stage here particularly for BDD. We are going to be getting the best medical help. But she told us it can take 4 months for improvement in BDD as the neurotransmitters take time to level out. We only started a therapeutic dose for depression on April 11th so still very early to see improvement.
Wish you all well. Marg

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